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Other => Off-topic => Topic started by: Enjorlas on April 21, 2015, 01:48:18 AM



Title: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: Enjorlas on April 21, 2015, 01:48:18 AM
Need some advice here. I am laughably inexperienced in this area of love. Basically me question is, do I tell an acquaintance my feelings or is it too creepy?

Is it better to go bold and damn the consequences, or is it better to never know what could have been?

Advice from both men and women is appreciated.

This is in college and the semester is almost over so..


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: Vod on April 21, 2015, 01:57:21 AM
Need some advice here. I am laughably inexperienced in this area of love. Basically me question is, do I tell an acquaintance my feelings or is it too creepy?

Is it better to go bold and damn the consequences, or is it better to never know what could have been?

Advice from both men and women is appreciated.

This is in collage and the semester is almost over so..

Seriously?  You are in "collage"?   

Anyway, difficult to answer without knowing all the details, but personally I believe it's better to know.  Just don't be too creepy when you approach him/her - ask them out for an innocent beer.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: rokkyroad on April 21, 2015, 01:59:44 AM
Takes kahunies to declare your love for a girl. You will either gain a lover or lose a friend. Set yourself up for rejection just in case.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: TheButterZone on April 21, 2015, 04:22:11 AM
I've lost a good number of friends after confessing to them. If they felt that awkward towards you, why were they even your friend in the first place?


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: velveno on April 21, 2015, 05:11:43 AM
Gotta take the chances man, you will meet many people so if you lose 1 friend not a big a deal.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: MRKLYE on April 21, 2015, 05:20:51 AM
When in doubt just PIIHB (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=piihb&utm_source=search-action).


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: bornil267645 on April 21, 2015, 07:04:46 AM
Tell her before the time runs out. Because by the time you waste out to think about it, it will probably be over. And you might not get a second chance. So tell her somehow, or you will regret it by saying, If Only !!!


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: WEB slicer on April 21, 2015, 08:56:58 AM
don't tell her your feelings. it makes things awkward. just ask her if she wants to meet up for lunch. she will figure out you like her without having an uncomfortable conversation about it.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: ndnh on April 21, 2015, 09:08:06 AM
Need some advice here. I am laughably inexperienced in this area of love. Basically me question is, do I tell an acquaintance my feelings or is it too creepy?

Is it better to go bold and damn the consequences, or is it better to never know what could have been?

Advice from both men and women is appreciated.

This is in college and the semester is almost over so..

Go for it. Or you might regret it later. ;)

Mind how you do it though.. It might make all the difference.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: bitbunnny on April 21, 2015, 11:25:06 AM
It's hard to decide. There is a risk to loose a friend but on the other hand you can get wonderful love. Try with some inoccent invitations for drink or movie, maybe dinner, to see how's her mood about it.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: Daniel91 on April 21, 2015, 01:18:03 PM
From my experience, it's always much better to share your feeling than to hide it.
Women are very sensitive and can feel it if their man didn't share something with her or if he hide something.
If this happen to often or to long time, women can loose trust in ''her man'' and this can break relationship or family.
So, yes, tell her everything!


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: hmblm1245 on April 21, 2015, 04:23:36 PM
There are a few ways of looking at this: here are some.

In general males are prone to tell you to share your feelings as with males its very easy to tell other males what to do rather then doing it ourselves. I know is if very hard to tell anyone your feelings as a man it is not something that we have built in. It is a skill that we learn and develop over time. Also, males generally are not that good at understanding hidden meanings behind actions, facial expressions, etc.. so direct conversation with direct speech is our best way to state what we want or need.

The female perspective depends on the women you are speaking to, but in general women will want the truth from men, but as we know its not that easy to spit it right out. Women may not "truly" want the truth but a version that fits their ideal of who we were,are or supposed to be. Females think differently then men so asking other men or women this same question will likely lead to different responses. Complete honesty is often thrown around as a term that saves relationships, but it is not quite complete. As a man would you tell your wife that you would love to see what the front desk girl at your work looks like naked in bed with wifey on top? Unlikely, but you may have thought about it. Do you even tell her those thoughts? Its up to the couple to decide.

I think the question that my help you is What do i want with the girl? Get in her pants? Long term relationship? Marriage, kids? These are hard questions to ask now especially as a man that is likely hopped up on dopamine and norepinephrine during these early stages of 'love' and the oxytocin levels wont kick in till later, if you get there.

The politically correct thing to do is to share your feelings as soon as you have them. That might be right for you or may be wrong. It is not often do we think about past times that we did NOT share our feelings with someone and remember that as a good experience, but i am sure you think hard there would be at least once that it worked out better for you.


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: freeyourmind on April 22, 2015, 04:12:54 AM
First, you need to be comfortable with a few different outcomes, which will avoid the creepfactor.

1. You need to be comfortable with her knowing, and continuing to just be friends
2. You need to be comfortable with no longer being friends
3. You are already comfortable with being more than friends so that's no issue

If you have that attitude, and respect her decision no matter what it is, then you'll be just fine, and she'll probably respect you more as a person, which can only help.  Whether it becomes a romantic relationship or not depends on how she feels, so the only way to find out is to talk to her.

If you want to become possessive of her, and "need" her to be with you, then you may come off a bit creepy.

At the end of the day, it sounds like you have a crush on her, and you'll likely get a similar feeling to many more girls over the years, so don't take it too seriously :)

Also, don't take advice from a bitcoin forum about girls ;)


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: b!z on April 22, 2015, 05:10:49 PM
First, you need to be comfortable with a few different outcomes, which will avoid the creepfactor.

1. You need to be comfortable with her knowing, and continuing to just be friends
2. You need to be comfortable with no longer being friends
3. You are already comfortable with being more than friends so that's no issue

If you have that attitude, and respect her decision no matter what it is, then you'll be just fine, and she'll probably respect you more as a person, which can only help.  Whether it becomes a romantic relationship or not depends on how she feels, so the only way to find out is to talk to her.

If you want to become possessive of her, and "need" her to be with you, then you may come off a bit creepy.

At the end of the day, it sounds like you have a crush on her, and you'll likely get a similar feeling to many more girls over the years, so don't take it too seriously :)

Also, don't take advice from a bitcoin forum about girls ;)

That's the most important tip. ;)


Title: Re: Do I tell her my feelings?
Post by: patt0 on April 23, 2015, 10:25:07 PM
man it's all about how you feel with the situation. If you are sure about what you said, then it probably means that "just friends" is no longer ok for you so you should say it. There is no way to know what it will happen, so after that you deal with how you feel with the situation again, like you did in the first place, and basically you keep dealing with it until the situation is ok for you.