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1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs

tight against one another

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet

and - always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles.

Do not panic

7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie

perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little

movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into

the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then

suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp.

Good luck!

Male or female anaconda? If the latter ...

Unfortunately for anacondas consumption of humans hasn´t played a meaningful part in their evolution otherwise   they´d have figured out long ago to start with the head end or if that´s not practical make sure that the prey is stone dead before consumption starts.

Great idea but what to do when it tries to inject venom on the legs before swallowing?  :-\

Anaconda ain't have no venom on them: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090603113645AAv6YzR

:o

Anacondas kill by constriction and as far as they´re concerned if it doesn´t move it´s safe for consumption. Which is a rather lengthy process for something as large as a human. They don´t waste time and energy on constricting something that is already still. It´s just another carcass to them. Thus it´s key to play dead and don´t panic.

And what if you don't have a kinfe?

What about a Russel viper ! ;)

If you don´t have a knife you didn´t read the manual and will suffer death by suffocation before becoming a meal for the anaconda.

Then use your teeth or your nails (if they are sharp enough like girls do :P )! Or die like a Samaritan!  ;D

A ki-nife?
I think I have heard of one of these before. It is combination of a knife and a kite. Right? ;)
It would definitely be useful against an anaconda if your trapped in one. :D

Anacondas attack in the water so if you get attacked you have to fight back or you're dead. You won't be able to run and if you don't have anything sharp it should be over in less than a minute.

Big anacondas that could eat humans also hunt on the ground although they spend most of the time in the water and in marshes.

I think you watched that movie with J.Lo to many times. They don't always attack in the water. Sure they are faster in the water but they live in the jungle so can attack you there too. So they hang in trees and when they feed they go in the water where they are faster. The nature channel is a wonderful thing  ;)

Exactly, good man!    ;D
You know these things and watch the nature shows too.   :)
I have also read some books on the subject too after watch the Blood Orchid movie  :D

It´s a fascinating animal which can swallow big prey but even the biggest ones mostly subside on small, quick and easy prey birds, fish, rodents and such. Big catch is good, a deer or a human probably means that the snake can take a few weeks off from eating but the downside is that swallowing and processing takes time and in the meantime  the snake is vulnerable against other predators that might be interested in taking a bite out of it. I guess evolution leads to increasing practicality.

Anacondas are known lovers of quality music so just start singing pretty much any tune released in the last decade or so.

I am guessing you are thinking of a cobra.
Anaconda is much too big to be tricked by a snake charmer like those in India on the side of the road  :D

He thought anaconda and cobra are of the same species, most probably never seen an image of anaconda before.  :D

https://lifevsfilm.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/anaconda2.jpg

Any snake that can eat Danny Trejo whole has to be respected, especially when they’re this goddamn huge. It may looks incredibly ropey, with dodgy dialogue, hammy acting and a frankly bizarre turn from Jon Voight, but this is a thoroughly entertaining film, despite starring Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz and Owen Wilson. Why is it so enjoyable? Well, that’s difficult to say, because the plot leaves a lot to be desired – a documentary crew heading for a tribe on the Amazon river become waylaid by a snake poacher on the hunt for a giant green anaconda (spoiler: they find it, death ensues). Whatever the reason, the snakes are awesome, mainly because they’re just giant-ass snakes.



http://lifevsfilm.com/2013/10/11/top-10-snakes/

Everyone should realise that this advice is a well-known joke and should not be taken seriously. It contains several pieces of false information for the purpose of building to the punchline. Anyone who actually follows this advice will be quickly killed.

False. Anacondas are extremely slow, and can easily be evaded by just walking away.

They do. Constrictors often prey on sleeping animals, and do not want their prey to wake up while being eaten. They are not scavengers, and do not usually eat things they didn't kill themselves.

They nudge and examine the prey to check for movement. They don´t just slither up to a sleeping animal and start swallowing it without any ado. I guess evolution has taught them certain carefulness.

More carefulness than you think. They examine their prey by constricting it until it stops moving. They are sensitive enough to feel the prey's heartbeat, and will not be fooled by a person playing dead.

Well, I don´t know about that. Predators don´t usually spend more energy than necessary. There´s always the balance between energy in and energy out.

Well, I do know about that. I am from Australia, after all. It is indeed necessary for an anaconda to constrict its prey to death before eating it, since anacondas are slow and have no options if the prey decides to get up and walk away. They will not attempt to swallow something alive, and they can tell. Playing dead doesn't work on snakes.

So, what kind of anacondas do you have in Australia? I guess they´ve adapted to deserts. Do they carry the young around in pouches?

Very funny. Australia is unique in that it has more venomous snakes than non-venomous ones. You won't find anything so harmless as an anaconda here (or any other boa constrictor, for that matter). But Australians do know about snakes in general. We wouldn't live long if we didn't.

Wouldn´t live long? Venomous snakes have normally no reason to attack prey as big as man, they simply don´t perceive it as food  but they´ll try to defend themselves of course. Yeah, I guess you live long if you do your best to avoid them.

We had a tour two years ago to the Amazon. The guide's instructions when you see an anaconda or a crocodile were to slowly back up. Any sudden movements will prompt them to attack so yeah, playing dead would definitely not work unless you decide to become their shish kebab. If you have the speed of Usain Bolt then i think running the other way would be a good idea too.

I wouldn't have both kinfe and knife.

Your bad luck and the Anaconda's too as it won't happen. We may see you trapped instead :P

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet

and - always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles.

Do not panic

Dude, are you crazy? :) If she start to swallow me, the I am 100% sure that I will panic and in a few seconds I will be dead! Plus, I hate reptiles and the moment I will see the anaconda I am sure that I will start to run... I hope that she will be not ready to run with a speed of sound if she want to catch me! :D

Or just 1 step:

carry a machine gun if you think you may encounter an anaconta, and go Rambo if you think one wanna eat you

Snakes can't hear anything bud => https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhUhWn12qt8 ;)

https://i.imgur.com/Dqs2lcX.gif

drop the beat  ;D

Check this out how coward can a snake charmer be!  ;D => https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWDT8kDfb6c

Unlikely, they only eat once a month or so and there are plenty of other preys around that are more edible

anacondas strangle and swallow i believe

id become j lo
shes so ugly and stinky an anaconda even spit her and died
so that!

Wow. Nice survival plan mate.

I´m afraid they´re right. It´s just some internet bullshit. Those bigass snakes are mighty cool though.

Whenever you go in a place where anacondas live, just always bring a gun, so if they going to attack you, just shot them til they died.

How about if the anaconda is too big than you? you still flat?

I doubt that they attack many people mainly because most people have no reason to hang around where anacondas live. Also, they assess potential prey visually, can it or can it not  be safely swallowed. It isn´t risk free for the snake, once it start swallowing there may be no way back, legs, horns etc on the prey. They don´t just attack anything that moves. A standing human adult would probably look like an unusual prey to a crawling anaconda and certainly rather big. I´m not sure they´d be very interested. What they´re interested in is things they are familiar with and have hunted successfully forever. I doubt that humans are high on that list.

I hope i will not be attacked by an anaconda , cuz i don't have a knife  :D