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he cries and cries, throws stuff around, all because he doesn't want to go to bed, sometimes i want to smack him! ( i don't ... )

often i find him asleep on the floor next to his door

he's crying right now.........

holy fuck NEVER HAVE KIDS!

Have you thought about asking him why he doesn't want to go to bed?

He's 2, it's not like he's got to go to work in the morning, just let him play until he's tired.

he's not really talking yet, possible hearing problem... going to get that checked soon.
But i know why he doesn't want to go to sleep
he wants to play, watch tv and run around.

Probably your best option.  Just let him play or cry himself out.  I've found telling them, "you don't have to go to sleep but you have to stay in your room" helps.  They'll go to sleep when they get tired.  Fighting with them is pointless.  You'll always lose.  

Yep get the hearing checked immediately.  Some kids don't talk until later.  Not a huge deal.  But get the hearing checked, just to be sure. 

Then let him. The trick is to do all that right before bedtime, so he's all tuckered out when it's time to go to bed. The twins may be my first kids, but they're not the first I've had to deal with. :)

ya that's what i end up doing... sometimes i read him a story and he falls asleep. but past few weeks that has not worked at all, and he ends up crying for 5 mins and then playing in his room till he falls asleep.

so this is normal... ok good to know  :P



we are on the list to see some specialist, thank god for medicare.

How can you start a thread like this without a picture of the kid?  I wanna see little Adam Jr.!  ;D

We got a Gro-Clock (http://gro.co.uk/gro-clock) for our 2 1/2 yr old after he started not wanting to stay in bed when his sister was born and he moved to a twin bed. It's helped.

My dad used to tell the story of when I would cry before bed every night.  Finally he said "I'll give you a reason to cry" and promptly spanked me.  After that I went to sleep every night without crying.

Of course some parents nowadays know better than their forebears and would never spank their kids.  Their presumption brings with it its own reward.  ;D

A child who respects, instead of fears, them?

Dereck
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/29343_10151283972892674_1109714024_n.jpg

Frederick
https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/73836_10151329999342674_1955469591_n.jpg

Frederick has no problems sleeping  :P

<3 I love the little adams.

thanks, something to show the wife.



sometimes i want to do this.... but in the end its not necessary. closing the door and letting him cry is just as effective.


^^ future bitcoiners

If you can get either of them to say bitcoin as their first word, and film it, I'll flip.  :D

If it really gets bad, consider seeing a pediatric behaviorist. It may be some behavioral problem if your current solution isn't feasible/working long term.

All the previous advice is great. An old home remedy is a small sugar treat at bedtime. We called it sugar coma.

For this, you may want to give some buffer, otherwise you'll have to deal with hyper child when you actually want to sleep. I'd say about an hour. Maybe more.

where i'm from we call that a cavity.

https://fosterdentalcare.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Toothbrush.jpg

Use it before bed.

before or after sugar treat?

Wanna take a guess?

Random advice.  We have a 2.5-year old.

1) Create a buffer of reduced distractions for an hour or so before bedtime.  That means no TV or other stimulating excitement before bedtime.  You must set the atmosphere.  Quiet time precedes bedtime.

2) I actually avoid sugar, close to naptime/bedtime.  I consider it crack cocaine.  No sugar within 2 hours before bed.

3) That sippy cup should contain milk or water, not juice or soda.

4) Create a familiar routine that slowly, inexorably, heads to bed.  Do the same thing, in the exact same order, every single night.  Bath, jammies, bottle, toothbursh, get into bed, songs/stories.

It may feel like you're being a military drill sergeant at first, but toddlers find comfort in familiar routine.

5) Staged crying responses.  If the fuss starts immediately after you leave the room -- or even before you leave the room.  Give it 30 seconds, then return, comfort and love, explain the routine in simple terms, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 60 seconds, return, comfort and love, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 2 minutes, etc.

The basic points you are trying to communicate is (a) mother and father are still there, but (b) you aren't going to give up on putting him to bed.

And sometimes it's just plain hard work.  For a while, we wound up camping out in the room for an hour or more each night, as our daughter got used to the new routine.  We would be in the room, during this time, but would not respond to efforts at play or interaction... being as boring as possible, breathing deeply with our eyes closed, pretending to sleep, ourselves.

this is good. also in doing this, gradually reduce the amount of verbal communication each time. eg. first time you return talk and explain blah blah blah time for bed, etc. next time it's just 'blah' and eventually it's just silence and only motions to put them to bed.

Yep let him do it and feel the consequences of his overnight binge, unless he's completely stupid and it doesn't seem like he is to me he'll realise why humans need sleep, children are like a blank slate a lot of the time, but if you let them learn on their own they'll learn stuff faster than if you try and beat it into them without any reasoning oh yeah and myrkul's right, get him to brush his teeth really early, show him google if he doesn't believe you when you say it hurts like hell if you don't.

"Terrible twos"

Yeah my little guy is about 2 and a half years old now.. Lately he has  been doing the same thing.. Not wanting to go to bed.



Just let him scream... he'll get tired and go to bed.. worse case I bring him to bed with me.... Last night we both passed out and he was still running around.


It was pretty cute every time he would get close to me or my wife he would start being really quiet and start making the sshhhh sound :)

My little guy is starting to say a couple words at once... bed time, My truck, mommy and daddy, car ride, bike ride. fire truck and plenty more. MINE


Make sure you read to him on a regular basis. Couple times a day. Start with little books with tiny sentences.


Is he not in a crib anymore?

I see the problem! Derek has only those big colored plastic toys to play with, while daddy has a shining mining rig. I suggest buying him a toy reflow oven and when he starts crying tell him daddy needs some new parts FAB.

http://museums.leics.gov.uk/collections-on-line/imagestore/o892000_33_0cm.jpg

This is very good advice.  The routine is especially important.  I have a 2 year old and 2.5 year old... now, sometimes they will complain and cry when we say it is time to go to bed, or during the routine (because they know bedtime is coming), but they don't usually cry when they are in bed anymore.  If my 2 year old daughter cries when we say goodnight and leave the room, then one of us will go in and reassure her that it is time to sleep... I usually make her agree that it is night-night time, and then she's fine.  I suppose that wouldn't work well with a toddler who isn't talking yet though, unless he at least acknowledges your questions with a head-nod or something.

Making sure your little guy is really active during the day helps too..


possibly cut afternoon naps down a bit.

yep, pro advice from jgarzik. Nothing to add really.

Had the same issue with the eldest, now 4, and still ocasionally throws a tarntrum here and there. I love drinking herbal tea and there is a relaxing tea from manzanilla leaves.

I made the tea let it cool, then mixed the milk formula right into the tea. It would relax him and then he would on his own ask to be taken to bed to sleep.

Then I started reducing the amount of tea to water until I completely removed it.

Has worked very well for both kids. Night lamps help and an open door policy (easy access to mama and papa) if they get scared at night.

Sitting with them in their room, either singing or just letting them blabber away and making them think you are paying attention to them helps also.

Initially you will have to put time towards that, and just transition until the bedroom is sleep time.

Mine turned 2 in September.

Tell him, night night, put him in the bed, close the door, ignore his cries.
He will fall asleep soon enough :)

You still bottle feeding, pacifier? I got rid of both around 10-12 months ago.

the mother suffers from asthma and so do the kids, closing doors and ignoring my kids can lead to them suffocating (sudden death syndrome)

Forgot about this step!  This was key to the transition out of our room into her room.  My daughter slept in our bedroom until she was just over 1 year old... but getting her to sleep in her own room was a challenge.  She didn't like not having us right there with us.  At first, we tried the "just ignore and let her cry herself to sleep" approach, which would eventually work, but she hated it (obviously), and it made us feel awful too.  Then we went with the "stay in the room until she falls asleep" approach, which worked wonderfully.

One of us would stay in the room with both kids, just doing our own thing (I would either be on my laptop or phone), but just having us there while she fell asleep was enough to comfort her into doing that without too much fuss.  At first, she wanted to be held, but I'd just gently remind her that it was time to sleep, and tell her to lay down, and she would.  I'd keep repeating that each time she would stand up in bed.  She eventually got the idea, and stopped even asking to be held, just understood that it was time to sleep, but that I would be in the room with her.

Once we got that down (took several months), we started leaving the room when she was almost asleep, but not quite there, of course, always coming back in for a minute if she asked to reassure her that we weren't just abandoning her to the bed.  Then, we started leaving earlier and earlier, and now, we can just leave the room as soon as we say goodnight.

This thread is so full of win.

Nothing special so far. All ... ok most kids do so now and again.
They experience all of a sudden a strange thing: Own personality.
Never had that before and its confusing makes unhappy.

First of all do not take it as an offence.
The little chap doesn't know how to help himself.
That is where you are coming into the equation, help him.

Kids like rituals!
A regular going to bed procedure is the best cure for all ... ok most kids.

Shit, I just remembered the last time my son did something like this(cry like a looney cause he didn't want to go to bed), the neighbours called the cops saying there was a child being abused on the upper floor...

Moral of the story: Forget about the whole "I'll give you a real reason to cry" thing ;D

http://youtu.be/CseO1XRYs9I?t=48s

I have hree kids: 9, 6, 2 years old.

I can only repeat:

NO SUGAR AFTER 5pm
sugar hypes them up. sugar is pure energy. it prevents them from calming down.

GET THOSE EARS CHECKED
just because listening to mom or dad can be calming.

ROUTINES
develop routines that indicate a while before they go to bed that "it's time."
in this house:
- 6pm dinner
- 7pm, all kids are changed and have their toothbrushes in hand
- 15min of taped TV with their fave show (pocoyo, pingu, what have you)
- 8pm, all kids are in bed
- as story is read to the kids
- 9pm, lights out.
of course, this might be off as much as half an hour or an hour, even, if exciting stuff happens or we've been away for a day trip or something.

but: THE ROUTINE IS ALWAYS THERE. and it helps.


of course, there are times when the little one (mine just turned two) needs more attention.
last couple of weeks, he required extensive cuddeling and soothing before sleep.
it will go away, but please, please, PLEEASE do not make him suffer for it, it's not his fault AT ALL.

Promise me?

I used to sit beside or lie on the toddlers' bed and make up a story. Once I made up a really nice story about a little bird that lost a feather and couldn't fly any more, until a friendly spider spun a giant web and caught the feather in it! They *LOVED* to hear made-up stories. It was the one sure method of getting them to calm down and listen. Sometimes they'd even make up their own stories.

After the little story I would chat to the kids about this or that, or sing a little song. Then, sooner or later, I would interrupt with some reason to leave like, oh, I need to pee (kids understand that), I need to wash the dishes, I need to do a make a phone-call, something, anything, but *ALWAYS* with "wait there, I'll be back in 5 minutes".  9 times out of 10 they'll be asleep when you get back. If not, rinse & repeat. Eventually you won't have to go back no more.

Apart from that, the earlier message about developing a routine is vital.

Instead of having the young ones in your bed, much preferable is for you or your SO to squeeze into bed beside them - obviously it's better if you just sit there, but I'm considering the hypothesis that you're dead tired and need to sleep. You'll get uncomfortable soon, wake up, and can then go to your own bed. That way, they will become used to sleeping in their own bed.

Our bedtime ritual is now pure joy. We bring 'em upstairs, they climb into bed (the youngest even unzips the door on his own cot and voluntarily climbs in!), a short song or story, kisses all around, and awaaaaayyyyyyyy!

???
No image I can come up with in my mind to explain this makes sense.

Umm, he sleeps in one of those travel cots (we're tight for space, but fortunately it's decent enough).  So it's just 6 inches off the floor.  The walls are fabric stretched over a light aluminium frame and, on one end, there's a door that zips up.  A bit like a tent, I suppose, only being a cot there's no roof, and being a cot for small people (i.e. < 5 years), it would be a pretty small door for a real tent -- unless, I guess, if it was a tent for similarly small people  ;)

Well, he walks proudly up, unzips the door, and climbs into bed. I need only zip the door closed again, put the covers over him, and voilà, he's done, all ready for sleepies. Admittedly, the first time he did this I was speechless. Didn't even know he knew how to operate zips. But, not wanting to lose the initiative, I took it in my stride and made him opening his own cot-door a part of the night-time routine  :D

Uh, what is sudden death syndrome? SIDS? Your son is 2 and well beyond SIDS.
I think you're being paranoid, your son is 2 years old, hes not going to suffocate by himself. Put a baby monitor, or a night vision camera in the room. I don't see how leaving the door open is going to help suffocation seeing as if you're suffocating you don't make noise anyway. Either with, or without the door open your son with suffocate if the unfortunate scenario were to happen.

Unless that is.. If his room was air tight, and you sucked out all the air.

Dude, don't feel bad about that, he probably loves it. I'd have killed for something like that when I was a little guy. In fact, I remember one summer I set up a tent in my room and just slept in there the whole year. It was excellent. Nothing beats a little space that is exclusively yours.

just spend enough time with him and it will settle.

get your eyes of stupid bitcoin charts
abdicate some money and spend time with him

it's the most important time where he learns most. show him you are caring, he will be more caring and a better guy later.

with my little girl i just tell her its bed time, carry her to bed, turn the light off and lay down with her until she falls asleep. She cries every night sometimes for only a minute some times as long as a half hour but i simply dont acknowledge it in any way. If she wants to cuddle than i cuddle if she wants to be alone than i let her be alone on the other side of the bed. The key is to give them as much freedom as you possibly can. Its really quite easy to train kids, respond to the things you want to reinforce ignore the things you dont want to reinforce, understand their needs and respond to those needs.

my best guess from your story is that he doesn't like to be alone. Children have different needs from adults, even though belief in monsters isnt rational we still have to respond to that need for security. Also dont listen to people who say you have to deny fulfillment of the children needs because they need to be "weened" or "they have to grow up eventually" as an analogy, if you respond to his need to be protected against monsters this isnt going to make it more likely for him to grow up with a belief in monsters.

well tonight wasn't so bad  :)

thanks for all the gr8 advice

happy to hear that.

also: i think it's great that you turned to your peer group for advice.

lol much experience can be learned through forums   ;D

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

just as this was about to become the nicest these on /btctalk/, along comes this.

i hope to God you're not serious.

Just be glad he keeps his diaper on while sleeping. Mine refused until ~1.25 y/o, and if she woke up, pooped, and we didn't have a snapped-together onesie on, she'd smear shit all over her crib. It was the most horrible thing I've ever had to walk into. The first few times, I had to wake up my wife just to stand there with me while I cleaned it as a kind of spiritual support (actually.... to be honest - the first time that happened, I was so horrified, my wife did most of the work)

Anyhoo, she had sleep problems, too, but we were lucky enough to have a noise-making stuffed lamb work for her. Still cries, but usually only for a few minutes instead of 20-40m.

And really, just to reiterate for everyone young -- don't have kids. My God, don't do it! If you love watching others' kids for a few hours, it's not anything like having one of your own, every hour of every day, every year. It's not like a pet, and they aren't similar to child-like adults. They don't quietly walk around and act independently, nor are they little Socrates, calmly asking questions which lead you to think about the world differently. After having an ankle-biter of my own, what I most look forward to in life is the day she's old enough to go to school.

If you want kids, consider this happening three times a day starting about the day she walks reliably (~9 months), and still not ending at her 19th month age:

*extremely shrill* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!!! WAAAAAHHHH!!"
"Lunch's almost ready. We're having fried potatoes and roasted chicken with rosemary. Do you like how rosemary tastes?"
*standing in front of you while you cook* "More? More? ..... WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! WAAAAAAAHH!!"
"It's still cooking. It'll be ready in about 5 minutes."
"MORE! MORE! MORE!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"
"..."
"MORE! MORE!" *crying, pulling on legs*

5 minutes more of that....
"Okay. The food's all cooked now, but it's still too hot for you to eat."
"Hot."
"Yep."
"Hot. ... ..... More?"
"Not yet, it's still too hot."
*short pause, confused?* "WAAAAAHHHHH! MORE! MORE?!! MORE!!!!! MORE!!! WAAAAAHHH!!"
"It's still too hot."
"More more more more more more.... MORE!!" *tugging on leg, making you dodge her while you dare try to move*
*agitated* "Listen - it's not done yet, and if you cry anymore, I'll eat it myself."
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR *breaks down into generic crying* MORE MORE more.... *defeated crying*"
...
...
...
"Alright. Food's ready, now."
"More!"

She takes the plate, puts it on the floor, and begins eating. She'll eat a few potato cubes, and give one to a cat, which's cute as Hell. If the cat goes near the chicken, she smacks the cat away. She finishes all the meat scraped from a chicken leg and thigh, as well as a half-cup of fried potato cubes.

"MORE!"
"No more, you're full. Go see what mommy's doing in the living room. I think she has the fuzzy red monkey you like."
"MORE! MORE! *crying again* MORE! MORE! MORE!"
"Go see mommy! She's in the living room."
Then she wanders out to the living room, still crying, and starts crying at wife. Wife picks daughter up, gives her a hug. Daughter's still crying, squirms to get out. When she's let down, she keeps crying. "More?"


She has such a large vocabulary, but when she wants food (and she almost ALWAYS wants food. She'll vomit and still demand more food.), she refuses to do anything useful and her vocabulary becomes very limited ("-anana," "cack" [cracker], "food," "milk," and, of course, "more"). Not sure when patience develops in children.... 10 years?

Maddox has some of the best parenting advice on the Internet, as a matter of fact. One of his educational books on parenting was recently published and has high reviews. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439182868/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=bpitu-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399373&creativeASIN=1439182868

How damn right you are... It sucks...

Pretty sure sign that:
1) your cat may be into "water-sports"
2) your son is probably ready to be potty-trained.

He certainly has enough control. If he can hit the cat, he can hit the bowl. :D

some people just do not get sarcasm...

My first thought was, I hope for the sake of your son, your cat is declawed  ;D

Declawing a cat is just mean :( you shouldn't be a dick to it if you don't want to get scratched.

I agree. 

... It's a reeses cup, but I have to wonder how the hell it got there...

Kids.

Yeah I wondered too.. He woke up from a nap with that on his neck......