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Hey!

Please post your best non-swearing insult here.

It's always handy to have a 'comeback' for those people in life that truly deserve insulting.

Here are a few to get you going.

"You are like that first piece of bread, everyone touches you but nobody wants you!"

"Your Birth Certificate is an apology letter from Durex!"

"You have a face only a mother could love!"

:D

"You're a cretin"
I don't think this is swearing lol

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Oh... I didn't tell you... Then It must be none of your business...

"i only argue with people who can think" ;)

Probably the best response to an insult without cussing would be: “So is/does your face!”
I know it’s a response to an insult but it is probably the best immature way to return insults.

My favorite has got to be this one:
"The jerk store called. They've run out of you." -George Costanza

Your mother is so fat, when she passes by TV, 10 commercials passes.

Probably this should not be done at all, because you can get a very strong answer, even in the face with your foot. And in general to insult a person is low.

Yeah, nailed it brotha  ;)

When I want to swear, I stop at the right moment and I say to myself: Devil, you won't get it :)

BSG  -  FRAK

I bet nobody has ever accused you of being a rocket scientist.

If common sense were common, everyone would have some.

I don't know what's wrong with you but I bet its difficult to pronounce.

I love both of these!

As just a word to call someone, I've always liked saying "You absolute buffoon". You can also use old-school, medieval words to nice effect - they are technically swearing but people don't normally know what they mean. For example:

"You mewling quim!", or "Grimy, soiled wench!"

If a girl is ugly, you can say "She has a face like a bucket of smashed crabs!".

My friend once described a girl who had horrible, rotten teeth: "Her teeth are like a burnt down Romanian village".

I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

take this you "moldy peanut butter jelly jar"

that's what I say when I accidentally hit people on the bus

"You are a sorry excuse for a human being" ? haha, I most of the time use this as an insult.

I once was called a cabbage

I knew a fat, mean girl named Jean Ma in high school. Jean Ma sounds like "golden horse" in Chinese. She's fat so she's massive, so Massive Golden Horse, MGH. That's the formula for potential energy and she's storing a lot of that in the form of fat!

My favorite one:

I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.

Not the brightest crayon in the box are we

no, because there is still better than me, only I give the best.