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I have the pleasure of benevolently ruling a small island. I have delegated a fisherman slave to do the fishing for me and the other slaves along with a water collector, coconut collector, trash processor -- and there is me in-charge of building and maintaining shelter. A refugee washes up to shore, he has no skills that have the potential to bring me pleasure and keep my slaves from starving. The other slaves of the community offer to teach him how to fish so they don't starve and so I can have an extra fillet on my plate at dinner. My new slave refuses. Should I rape him with a molten rhubarb or tear off his toenails in order to break him to my bidding?

This is assuming I have a nice firearm to give him a final ultimatum: serve me and my slaves or perish.

Assume this is a weak human being with no respect for himself and they will fish for the community once they are taught.

My personal preference is yes they should be taught. I love fish.

Also, no, I can't make the trash collector a fisherman even though he's good at it. I need him picking up after my all-day feasts. You don't want to know what I do with him at night.

Also, yes, this is for the good of society. I know what's best for him and everyone else. They would be nothing without this society I created.

Your island sucks.

Well, I thinks yours sucks too. You aren't getting enough out of your slaves.

Now that's good satire.

LOL

Abraham Lincoln will invade and take all the credit for freeing the slaves even though he did it just to take all the resources of the island.

 :)

Also, he will actually get his way this time and deport them (back?) to Africa.

Hilarious post, Atlas.  I appreciate dry satire. :)

 :)
But first honest abe will issue a glorious proclamation stating that if Atlas agrees to join abe's gang, then Atlas can keep his slaves.