Bitcoin Forum

Hi.

So my wife wants me to sell half of my cryptos like right now.  We invested early last year.  She claims its half hers b/c I live in California and its half hers as community property.  She didn't put any money into it it was my hard earn money that I had to risk.

I'm a long term investor in the tech and starting to do comfortable small responsible trades.  No all in Yolo stuff just learning as I go and using small amounts.

She's fed up with our on paper loses in crypto losing a tad over half of our total max holdings since the bull run.  She can't handle the volatility in a bear trend.  She handled it much better in a bull run.

What should I do? Sell half to keep her happy despite i'll be selling in a bear market getting around halfway or close to Bottoms?

Should I do my best to fight back and force her to invest long term?

I tried my best to tell her think long term but it's not getting through to her.  She's just very upset about our on paper losses.  We argue over this a lot almost daily and I don't know what to do.

Any suggestions?

I don't see a good way out of your problems. The market is what it is at the moment and selling at this point is probably a bad decision, but you are aware of that.

My advice to you is to do some more research or maybe find some positive youtube videos from known persons (celebrities) your wife could relate to easier than "computer geeks". I don't know your wife obviously, but women like to be in control. Maybe try to find a way to include her in decision making process or at least make her feel that way.

Unfortunately, if you are really arguing with her for all that time she has probably already dug her heels in and you will not be able to change her mind. You have one more play to try here. Explain to her that if you sell you are actually selling her half of investment and make her sign some kind of document that she accepts that. Meaning if you became a millionaire with the other half she has no right to it.

Or just cave in and do whatever your wife tells you, it is what most of us do anyway :)

I am a little confused.
If I understood correctly you are NOT in the middle of a nasty divorce, which is THE moment when your investments would probably have to be divided 50/50 with your wife.

Doesn't quite add up. IF you give her 50% now and she spends her share, and THEN you divorce and you have to split everything AGAIN 50/50. Not fair, and I do not think it works like that.

Another scenario: You give her half now, and she spends her share, and then she asks for 50% again, because it is her "right". What then? do you have to give her 50% of your remaining investments, which she spends AGAIN. And the same can repeat forever, until neither of you have any money left  ;D ;D

That is not how marriage and community property laws work. (I am no expert in how things work in California but we have a similar law.)

You own your own money, even if you are married. Hell. if you want, you could rent a jumbo jet and fly to a holiday, and thus spend all your money, and she could not do anything about it. Or, yes,  she could divorce you and split her savings with you, because you would not have anything left at that point...

Having said that. She could be right. If you have multiplied your investment, maybe it is a good idea to take some money back. Maybe sell enough to cover your initial investment. Then there is no risk of losing your initial investment, and it would be much easier to follow the swings of the market.

I know full well on the repercussions of the community property law, but that only gets invoked during the process of divorce, on the settlement stage. If you are not undergoing divorce, better not sell your shares.

One more thing, when did you start investing? Was it before the marriage or after the marriage? In some instances, investment portfolios can be overlooked by the circuit judge if you started investing years before the marriage happens.

Umm... Women problem, you should sell at least 25% of your crypto savings and give her the money that way you can have a peace of mind. The problem with women when it comes to money they lose their mind, and if you don't provide a quick solution by giving her some you're going to be in serious trouble. I believe by now, you've learned a very good lesson; which never shows all your investments to a woman because the majority of them only know how to spend not to invest for long-term. :D

Look, everything depends on the relation between you too.

I am married too, and my wife has invested in crypto too, about 5% of our total crypto investment is her money. She is crazy about times to buy and sell... but i always convinced her about not selling.

Anyway, I think there are a few things that you should think about:
-Are you guys ok in your relation? Is she thinking about divorce? In a divorce situation half of it would be hers. Is that what she is thinking and trying to say?
-It's your money, you earned it and you invested in it. You don't need permission to buy crypto if you want. Does she asks you permition  to buy cloths? Why don't you ask her to sell her cloths if she wants money?

If she is thinking about divorce, and wants half, just sell all your crypto and buy Monero. 100% untraceable.
Tell her you lost all daytrading (give her 5-10% lol).

If you guys are ok and love each other, explain to her, convince her. Tell her she must trust you. She is may be overinvested, and someone who is overinvested don't make rational decisions.

In my opinion this looks like more a relation problem (about trust and freedom and interests) than an investment problem.
I suggest you take a look at this community in reddit, The RedPill (https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/). and this post about frame control (https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/). Make some fast reading, good thoughts about relationships in a male point of view.

This is an strategy, but I think in a marriage both should be clear with each other. I show my wife all my investments. I think that's important to give some financial education for you wife.
For the couple to prosper financially both need to be clear with each other, and respect each others decisions.

Every decision that both of you decide are matter so if you think that your wife's reason is legit , why not ?
If you're not agree, what you have to do is convince your wife that you think that you've made the best decision.

Marriage is a great way to "collaborate" 2 different things into 1 legit decision !

lawyer up and create multi jurisdictional defensive structures against all intentions of your half heart.

and check that to understand her :

SMV = sexual market value.

SMV = HEIGHT * 1 / Body Mass index * muscular mass * money * fame

I'm going to be blunt with you. If you're asking this on a public forum, you have bigger issues at hand. First, she's probably cheated on you. Since if you're a man you're the one that would be making the decisions in the marriage, and she would respect you. When she's insisting on things and you're trying to convince her like a little girl, it means the balance of power in the relationship is with her. Almost always a woman will cheat when she has the power in a relationship.

The fact she'd bring up a card that she owns half of it all anyway under community property law just shows how utterly and completely she lacks respect for you. If I were in your shoes I'd give her half the crypto and half of everything else and file a divorce immediately. Do not marry again in America.

Not the advise you want to hear. It's the advise you need to hear though. She's either on board your fucking ship or the ship sinks. There should never be another option where she is the captain that is ever beneficial for you.

This kind of situation is prevalent in our societies today but remember that " marriage is for better for  worst ". Both of you are one ,you know, you can convince her through what i regarded as a "bed room chat "as most of us used even me. There is no need to force her to resend her decision on your bitcoin investment sales,because she has no courage on the volatility remember she is just a woman ,they are the weaker vessel in all things. Try this Bed room chart option and i think she may change her mind to go with on the long term investment.

Thanks for some of the helpful and interesting viewpoints. hah

Extra Notes:

-All debts are paid initial investment is paid off
-I have none to very little usd on sidelines.  Actually don't have enought to cover crypto taxes so i'll need to cash out more which is painful to do at lower prices
- I was a bit too all in on crypto,
- I do feel we got another 2 more months at least in this bear trend till we enter accumulation trend for the middle half of this year. Recovery end of the quarter this year.
-she got excited about our gains initially on how that could buy us a house but now she's upset that it has faded.
-Im a little bit anti USD due to inflationary properties.

End results.
I've decided to cash out more despite these low prices about 1/3 of my total positions, Wife is happy,  I can rebuy back the dip if it happens and if not so be it.
I feel a little be upset at myself in drinking too much of the  crypto koolaid and not cashing out huge profits during end of 2017 .  I feel like i got shaken out by the market.
Glad wife and I can come up with an agreement that we both feel is more risk balanced to her liking.

Slight correction: SMV = money

Don't be upset not, even a little.

You've probably scored way more than 100% ROI which is more than what most people can ever hope for. You HODL'd for as long as you could and it is what it is.

Enjoy the money.

If you're not holding anymore BTC then don't ever check the price again and enjoy what your gutspa and your acumen to invest early on earned you.

Thanks.  Yes I overall 8x my gains since my cost basis was pretty low.  So your right I can't complain and others suffered much worst.   But ya I  missed the 16x-18x gains which Im okay with, You live and learn, wife will get over that I hope. She understands that she wanted me to cash out much sooner at 2-3x gains and she's glad I held this long.

I'll still hold 2/3 of my positions and figure out how to convert those to long term never touch positions and portfolio rebalancing. We are captains of this ship and we all gonna sink together pridefully if it comes to that., I never give up and looking to get more into trading and not just hodling all my coins.  I was surpised on how far things can pull back. My first full season and I need to learn better money management.  I'm taking some Chris Dunn trading boot camp classes to pick up a little bit on trading on how to prepare for these long bear trend

I think the real problem is that you have become emotionally attached to the things you are invested in, and that is very bad for an investor. A good investor just sees numbers and tries to maximize returns. A bad trader tries to maximize the story.

You should have thought your marriage through  :-\

Ya we're not divorcing or anything that serious.  We just have total different approach to money that we have to both compromise on and work out.

For example

-  I'll still a cheap ass and afraid to spend money b/c i rather invest with any left over money I have after a paycheck from work..  I'll still make my own lunch at work and eat a cup of noodle here and there b/c i refuse to pay 15 bucks for a meal

- I consider them numbers on the screen and not money just digital numbers and treat it more like a 401k

-She will consider it as real money that can be life changing and wants to cash out as soon as possible on any small gains.

- She will go to whole foods and buy an 8 dollar asparagus and i'll freak out on the  $50 dollar wine bottles that I consider wasteful

-She considers what we both earn as community money therefore any crypto gains or losses is half hers.  She's also a lawyer so she's a bit smarter then me but I'm more outside the box creative thinking


So far I"ve been in full control of the cryptos and she feels a bit left out in terms of control of when to take profit.  It's a bit unfair to her but I feel she will panic sell and I will bag hodl till it goes to zero on certain coins


Ever since I sold 20 percent of my holdings in todays market things improved between me and her.  She felt more relax now and less bossy,  We can pay our taxes even if the market tanks more and have some left over. But this required me to off load half of my eth and bitcoin :(

I don’t have too much to contribute but I do want to remind you that your invest,ent into crypto ONLY becomes a loss if you decide to sell it at a loss. Do what you have to, but you should try to remind your wife of that.

She sounds like a gold digger - even worse, she's acting like someone in a divorce court. Don't take it as legal advice, but personally I would create additional wallets and move the cryptos into those wallets. Then tell her that your existing wallets got hacked - you got cleaned out in a phishing scam. Now she needs to pay in to cover her half of the losses. That should bring her down to earth pretty fast!

OP, I'm glad you and your wife were able to come to a compromise that works for both of you.

Every time I read comments on questions like this (here and elsewhere), I am ever more grateful I found a partner who isn't a skidmark redpiller. Unless you want advice on destroying your marriage, I'd skip their answers if I were you.  ::)

You can sell some and leave some for long-term, it's not always bad to take profits where it's due

You're the man, she isn't. Tell her to fuck off

If that is really your attitude, then I think your life might be better if you treat people with more respect.

I think you should find a more mature and understanding wife it is NOT half hers even if you did get divorced there is no way a judge could make you give her half crypto is easy to hide.... she is acting like a child I wouldnt stand for that i would find a new girlfriend...

Divorce is difficult to call a pleasant procedure, and if it also turns out that one of the parties, often male, owns a crypto currency, this takes the process to a new level of complexity. Here, state must intervene

I also have a complicated household relationship but nothing to do with my work in the cripto world because I work so I have the right to give money according to the household needs because my income for the family is not for individuals.
It's not fair for me if your wife asks for your 50% right,
While you and your wife lost the letter whether you were divorced or not, I think 100% of your investment is private if your wife still allows me to think that you have to buy a letter for her and you can take over another woman. that suits you without blackmail.

other things if you before marriage has made a dowry or dowry will give wife rights for 50% of your work in crypto and I am sure you must give him 50% with a strong proof record if you have fulfilled his right if you have not prepared the proof and give her I think your wife will ask for 100% of your money.
if you can convince your wife to stay calm and wait for great results I think she will wait for her with you.

This is my rules for me when i want to invest in some crypto :
1. I will never tell my wife that i invest ther and if i do i tell her i will say bullshit ammount half ammount from what i invest. Because the girls can not control their emotion especially in bear market.

Not only your wife who can handle bullish market all people can handle profit.

My suggestion if you get much profit like 10x of your investment better you cash out half of those crypto and let half of it for long term. Because your wife already knows about it and its foe evading if the market crash again she is not blame on you.

You seem to really know the women. As long as we have such arrogant machos in this world I am glad we also have smart woman on earth.

No problem honey, let's sell it if you want. I'm a bit busy now, here's a flash card with the wallet data. Password? What password? Oh it was written somewhere... Did the cleaner touch anything on the table? I can't find it!

Talk to her and comfort her. She is telling you this because of fear. Also, its a market behavior, since now, everybody thinks the same...  On the run, everybody is excited. On next step, everyone is in denial, etc. Also it is not good to be arrogant, so you should find a mutual agreement.

The two of you should come to an agreement to avoid divorce, explain to her that long-term investment is very beneficial for your future. If necessary you can also sell a small part to solve the current problem. Then over time let's move to a black fund that only you know. Tell her you invest in a loss.

That's the most important part here. She has no basis to demand that you sell something that she's not legally entitled to. It's your money and entirely your choice what to do with your investment. The thing is, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like to hear the truth about her not having any say in this. I understand that the situation is complicated and your goal is to avoid escalation. So why don't you try an approach where you show her something like this:

In March 2010, 1 Bitcoin was worth $0.003
In March 2011, 1 Bitcoin was worth $0.83
In March 2012, 1 Bitcoin was worth $4.92
In March 2013, 1 Bitcoin was worth $47.41
In March 2014, 1 Bitcoin was worth $662.57
In March 2015, 1 Bitcoin was worth $200
In March 2016, 1 Bitcoin was worth $382
In March 2017, 1 Bitcoin was worth $1290

Now onto March 2018, 1 Bitcoin is currently worth ~$8000, don't you see a clear uptrend here, honey, why not give it another year?

There's historical price data available on a large number of sites, I'm not pulling these numbers out of my ass. You can show her charts and use the March example. If you have food on your plate and are able to pay rent & bills, then this is a further argument to present against selling now.

I hope it helps, and I hope you're able stand your ground without any turmoil in your marriage. Good luck.

Ya I give her the Ender's game analogy and she seems to understand my mindset a little bit more.

I treat money in crypto like a video game.
You  let a few of your supply ships get destroyed in order to do the final winning blow with all your crypto holdings in a bull run.

Perhaps you might also consider that if you sold half of your BTC when your wife wanted you to, you would be $1000 per bitcoin richer right now.

That is true,  but at the same time If i listen to her,  she told me to sell off everything in the summer of last year. Obviously that would have been a big mistake also missing out on the nov/december bull run.

In your place i would give her half, seeing these profits, isn't like your are the golden goose laying eggs. Besides, a wife is half you, and would be far more exciting the SO to be on the same boat, holding the same amounts, taking loving decisions together and so. You are a lucky man ;)

The thing is she is on the same boat. Women are far more sensible then us. If ur stressed about it, she is far more stressed about it. You can't definitely say she is not invested emotionally same as you.

women do NOT think the way we do, bro
as people say : face a serious  problem, ask your wife and do it reversely . you will be successful

if you dont believe me, google a story of an old man won 400 million dollars after ignored his wife' words

There's your mistake.  Knew I'd find it somewhere in the thread.

So you don't monitor her spending on asparagus and wine, but she monitors your spending in Crypto? Sounds very unequal to me.
If you need to cash out to take care of things like taxes, maybe you were too heavily invested n the first place and that's what has her worried, but she doesn't have a right to declare half of your investment as hers and tell you what to do with it. Your money is your money, at least until she takes you to divorce court.

I'm a woman and I don't get how you guys in countries with unfair divorce laws still marry.

Pet peeve: Divorce laws. Some of these laws need to be changed, if not, young men will stop marrying, get more irresponsible and the next generation will grow up in single parent homes and be totally dependent on the government.

I can't even imagine how I would respond if my dear wifey asked for half my crypto 
I would probably have to assume she was pranking me with her absurd demand.  ;D