Bitcoin Forum

This is not to compete with the traditional trusted lenders in this sub.. Darkstar/Condoras/Omega - all the cool kids who have done this for years. So if you have collateral that is accepted - please use another lender
If you are trusted and qualify for a no collateral loan - please use another Lender.

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My rates are painful, my terms will make your mother disappointed in you, think of me as the payday loans of Bitcointalk.
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High risk, High reward, so if you do not like this - fuck off...

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I may accept SOME ICO/IEO tokens as collateral
I may accept sob stories about your mum/dad/sister/aunt being ill
I may ask you to do stupid things to qualify for the loan
I may ask you to do things to entertain me to qualify for a loan
I will not guarantee to loan to anyone.
I may tell you just to fuck off on principle.
This may turn into nothing but its Thursday and I am bored.

Terms will change based on user request - please use the standard format whilst requesting a loan.

I'm not sure if I should post a GIF eating popcorn, or ask for a loan to buy some to stay on topic, but I'm just here for the entertainment value I expect from this thread :D

you don't qualify - you can get a loan off anyone.. although for entertainment purposes you are expected to be here and ask the pertinent questions when I am not online! I hereby officially appoint LoyceV my unofficial vice precedent of due diligence

good project sir, how to applying?

how much do you wish to borrow?
what do you have to offer?
what terms do you want?
if you have a sister, please rate her on a scale of 1-10!

i offer boundless shitcoins tokens vast as the eye can see, decimal places far beyond what we were supposed to use.

for such a monumental accomplishment that only 98% of the forum can do is deserving of no less than 1 BTC sent directly to my sister's widowed non-existent husband's in-law because I have no female siblings.

Pics of cats accepted as collateral only if the cat is blind.


Pics of sister 1st please sir - then we discuss, also I need breast measurements please sir, only some lenders accept small titties - I must see large ones

in the end you created your service, ahah, good luck dude, you're funny!
I will definitely borrow from you, then I will get a collaretal ;D

I am happy to provide escrow services for any sisters.  Sisters must score at least a 5 of 7 to be escrow eligible. 

Good luck with your new venture tman. 

I have information to believe that your #4 cattle is #1 prostitute in the whole of Kazakhstan is this true sir?

I was so inspired by your idea that I decided to give you a gift, see private messages.

That's just cruel... I think this request will probably lead to a couple newbies adopting cats just to poke their eyes out in order to be able to loan 5 cents worth of BTC.
Why don't you change these terms to "Pics of cats accepted as collateral only if the cat is blind due to a pre-existing medical condition that was not inflicted by the person requesting the loan"

how about fuck off you little twatnozzle - MJ along with many others know I have 2 blind cats, you being a dickhead nobody just come in here an spout nonsense when you have no idea when what we are talking about...

so fuck off - suck a dick - fuk your mother if you want to fuk..

for anyone else - TMAN lending service best lending service - unless you are mocacinno - he has to pay 5000% interest

Loan 0.04 BTC
Interest: 125%
Term Length: 6 weeks (9 January 2020)
Repayment: 0.09 BTC
BTC Address: 32NjqiJvtL4rWF9QpLjw7SckAycD1cqg1x

you are forgetting the collat - the art and the rapist CEO IEO coins

How much can I loan for right kidney as collateral? Slightly used but not abuse. I ain't smoker or drinker. Just chugging my milk in daily basis. Need loan badly please.

picture of kidney please sir

outside body of course

Loan 0.04 BTC
Interest: 125%
Term Length: 6 weeks (9 January 2020)
Repayment: 0.09 BTC
BTC Address: 32NjqiJvtL4rWF9QpLjw7SckAycD1cqg1x
Collateral: 4080 4ART tokens + 32500 MYTV tokens

???

40000 TV shits was part of the collat as agreed not 32,500 ?

once confirmed we can sort

Ok.
Collateral: 4080 4ART tokens + 40500 MYTV tokens

OK deal - 0.04BTC
6 weeks from today = 9th Jan 2020
repayment @ 0.09BTC

if either shitcoin is listed and the value is less than 0.07BTC then everything will be liquidated and I will find you.

I am daytime drinking right now - I cant sort any ETH addresses for these shitcoins - give me 5 ill get someone to escrow so you are protected...

but do not worry - TMAN can withdrawal from EXCHANGES - TMAN best lending service in whole of Kazakhstan.

please post BTC address for deposit after escrow posts shitcoin address for you - I will quote address to confirm I guarantee escrow



EDIT - CONDORAS is escrow - when he posts you send shitcoins

when he confirms TMAN SENDS BTC... 0.04BTC for the shitcoins as agreed... lending time bitches

Well, i can offer to escrow the tokens. Unless the "borrower" want's someone else.

I'm ok. Post ETH address and I will send what was confirmed.

Condoras is my escrow for the shitcoins - he will confirm when he receives and I will send the BTC..

ETH Address: 0x13635Fd5E28EB56f898ce67D593C2E9268AE778d

Signed message:

Tokens on the way:
40500 MYTV tokens - https://etherscan.io/tx/0xeacdfb0be9784a881f67a7b6dd42af60ff5f896dd78864de4d94e27cf00f574a
4080 4ART tokens - https://etherscan.io/tx/0xa2be81dbbe9898e023c012fc3cecfa71929a420d67d990668989d9a2307587e8

EDIT - wait, something went wrong with 4art token.. will check..

EDIT2 - I have no idea what is wrong.. I made 3 more transfers and on my end everything is correct..
https://etherscan.io/tx/0x927e167afc68f4d42245e131e1a24a2c90fbf67c7d9c8edcaa3f2f0c7562422f
https://etherscan.io/tx/0x10b14c6978c7d226294d18c53d1547f0982371355404890cb164a92633377755
https://etherscan.io/tx/0xc04872e8e7636a264f44cccd9c5df3ae24e74d00a13cb5d54b91481dba03eecf
I never seen error like this before.. Anyone have idea?

Except for the MYTV tokens, nothing else came into my wallet. Idk though what's the problem here, so i can't help you with it.

I have no idea what is wrong.. maybe they are temporary locked.. I don't know.
TMAN - I have also 45,226 BWIN tokens, but situation is similar like with MYTV - no exchange atm.
My address: https://etherscan.io/address/0x15A87456152576991653E5567B7668186d3D4B2B
Website: https://token.bitwin.com

If you accept I can give you this in the place of 4ART?

dude... not cool, look we agreed terms, please adhere to those terms or i will instruct condoras to return your collateral. the only reason I didn't send you an address of my own is because I am on a wine session. (macon villages - my current fave!)

so if the collat is not fully with the escrow by the time I surface from my alcohol induced fun I will instruct him to return and tag you for wasting all our time

I understan your decision. But as you can see on my end I did eveything what can do. I didn't have idea that tokens are locked. There is no information about that from dev team.
I'm also angry for that situation.
Sorry for taking your time.
I will send ETH to condoras addres to cover fee for the transfer.
Don't be angry and enjoy wine season!

you are a cool dude - for that I will cover any fee's, as I said i am getting smashed now - if the tokens turn up ill send the BTC if not no problem and ill cover all fees - I like your style son!

I confirm that i receive 0.005ETH (gas). TMAN you want me to send back the MYTV tokens? As it seems 4art are locked.

I already send to him 0.005 ETH , it should be enough.
https://etherscan.io/tx/0x716938ba248dd97f60e1f36df2ecd9a52e2bb803cdb594e8791cbc213b3409ca

Take your time and enjoy!

Loan: 1 BTC
Repayment: 0.1 BTC / when I die
Collateral: 1.000.000 YILAN (KOBRA) (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=5077702.msg48328083#msg48328083)
BTC Address: bc1qfp5hx058l2paxh9t9w763z24wh2avhygvthyvt

Ah, ah... it's time for the main account to produce a rue-quest.

Loan Amount: 0.25 BTC.
Address: 398Ak4oMxdPf3bWGGWDeFaNDBYB9NzvxwS
Collateral:

Premise

The Gales of Wind - A Redundant Inquisitive Investigation Into a Recursive Inquiry

Be it far from the truth that an oxymoronic addict of semantic chaos and egregiously egregious content^{(which is it?!)} wishes to play the same field as the ones who thrive on gasping and lashing and self-annihilating masking of their desires and self-righteous, holier-than-thou, yet envious indignation.

Ah, but when an opportunity arises to cast the far-reaching net of asinine pretentiousness, a user who ironically spouts remarks about brevity surely wouldn't hesitate not deny TMAN the lack of opportunity of receiving an absence of consecutive negations in a row.

Lamenting the death of various mental gymnastics, I seek to push the forum towards prosperity in the form of an ideological renaissance rather than that of a financial nature.

Look at the state of the boards: do you see those cracks? Yes, that's right. Those are not cracks in the infrastructure of the forum, but rather cracks of genuine discussion in the swampy, sewer-runoff cesspool that we pretend will get better as time goes on.

Satoshi's intention for the forum may be something to look at but it should not be the fundamental foundation of which all ideas of merit apply. Without a clash of ideas, a lack of utter consensus, any discourse, we are fueled ever deeper into the density-increasing box of shit that we have to splash around in just to see what the new contrived Update of the Year entails.

Conclusion

I shall walk around Canada so that I can spread this fresh air to your doorstep.
As they say, a butterfly's flapping wings in China may eventually become a hurricane in the United States.
Since I am much larger than a butterfly, I should be able to multiply the effect by several magnitudes.
Assuming we use the monarch butterfly's average weight of 500mg and the average human weight of 62kg, we have each of my very footsteps creating 62700000 hurricanes in China.

Thus, to create a hurricane I will only require 1.59489633 x 10^-8 of a step: fifteen nanosteps.

However, since a hurricane must have a wind speed of at least 33m/s we may want to avoid anything more than a single nanostep so keep the speeds below 3 m/s. Moreover, given that the distance from China to the US is double that of Canada to Europe, I will have to proceed with the final conlusion:

I offer a collateral of a half nanostep towards Europe.

---

shhhhhhhh



really???


if you dont have the collateral send it all back - plus whatever the Gas thing is - ill sort with you tomorrow.


dude - you seem straight up - when i am sober we will talk, ill help you out and charge you less interest, I like your style

I thought I was joking when I suggested to start your own lending service but now I'll pretend that I was completely serious.

If you happen to be unavailable (e.g. asleep between binge drinking sessions) I'll be lurking here to tell borrowers to fuck off, perhaps even play some Rick Astley hits if I'm in the mood.

Very Serious, much wow. much lending TMAN lending 1 failed - but user is cool, worked professionally although tokens didn't move - when hangover passes TMAN will lend again and assist #1 client

@dodgrad: Please give me an address (it will be good to sign it) to send you back your tokens and the gas.

Best lending service available. Much collateral of shitcoins taken payday loan level interest rates.
TMAN loan shark service open on Friday

You don't trade when you're drunk/drinking!? It's great, you can't work out when you're at a loss (for at least those few hours)...

I can't work out which of your sentences are funnier and I'm still stuck wondering if this topic is serious.. . I've read the entire thing trying to work out your interest rates - was really curious from the op.

Interest rates changes with risk and blood alcohol levels. Sometimes more, sometimes less, Best lending loan shark does not discuss all rates in advance. Sometimes pictures with TMAN written in lipstick on boobies get discount on interest sir.

well, this thread is interesting.
whould you hear my sob stories in this forum and give me loan?
also, if need more collateral, i have 41 shitcoins with value $2.4 in my wallet. take it all if you want and give me loan

Hello sir, welcome to best lending service from Uzbekistan, TMAN can help you sir, please name shitcoin for full quotation.

Based on information available loan amount will be $0.08 with 1000% interest for maximum loan duration of 69 minutes.

Alternatively TMAN on titties written in green lipstick then loan only 2.5% interest for 1000 days.

Name shitcoin and terms may change. Better or worse who knows

Let’s business together sir.

please check my shit coin
 here (https://etherscan.io/address/0x45f625d1b4eaed944ab2af1d95d5ff1601a8199f)

i need loan around $350 for up to 2 months. i can't take high interest, but 2,5% for 1000 days is enough for me.

btw, whould you hear my sob stories?

TMAN does not click links, in Afghanistan links are illegal. Explain shitcoin and sob story here please sir, all informations publics sir

Interest rate now doubled due to illegal link and missing informations

here few token that stored on my wallet :
BRAT token, refereum, datum, eloplaytoken, lancer token, HOT, KICK coin, Lord coin, miro token, saifu token, showhand token, social activity token (SAT), and more. at least, that i say above have little value

Sob stories needed, in Kurdistan we must hear stories. Also reason for loan must be told

Ok pictures are worth more than a thousand words.

Provide proof
Provide details of repayment
Provide pictures of sister
Provide picture of shame face selfie

can i sent it via DM? i think, its private for me

PM illegal in Tajikistan sir, not possible.

allright, give me times

In Turkmenistan watches are illegal we have no time. Most importantly informative repayments needed for loan calculations sir. Terms can change better for you if sister is hotter

Sir in Kyrgyzstan she is maybe worth 2 chickens and 1 goat.

What means if repayments of loans sir. Where is picture of house with no doors?

How do you propose to ship your sister to me for collaterals sir? UPS is best carrier for animal produce

done

Loan failed to complete.. loan applicant posted picture of sister but I do not accept as sister looked like livestock. The transvestite lamb would take her as collateral 100% I know he needs new stock for his fields as he has too many lesbian cow’s and many bulls

Loan : 0.005 BTC
Interest : 20 %
Loan duration : 72 hours
Collateral : none
BTC address : 3EckL57V7xygi9sNBA7njGBMK8YqjcSVfQ
No sister , no cat .
Maybe this donkey will suffice : https://i.postimg.cc/FHLPXJhH/donkey-face.jpg

TMAN’s best lending service in Turkey, welcome Alex.

Unfortunately the picture of your sister does not equate to valid collateral, she is too ugly.

Tell me how you will repay me and with what means.

Thank you donkey family sir

Waiting on a 0.03 btc withdrawal which usually gets processed in 24-48 hours.

Or salary that's due in a few days.

A few days? What day?
Which country?
Which gamble did you win on?

Salary due on tuesday , but repayment would be done by my recent withdrawal. In case withdrawal would be late , repayment would be on tuesday the 20% + 0.001 extra in case I miss the 72 hours deadline.
Romania
I won on footbal bets . Usually make an average 2-4 games with a total odd of 3 to 4 x.

How do I know withdrawal is real



This is a big big red flag - telling a lender you might be late.


Sorry Denied Alex. I cannot in good faith Lend money to a degenerate gambler.

Next applications please sir, best lending service in IRAQ open for business

Haha it's ok no problem . good luck on your lending service.

This is my first post.
to your lending thread a toast.
give me one coin, cunt.

1 coin... ok 1000% interest and TMAN best lending service written in orange lipstick on your chest. I lend 1 coin of ripple. Ripple coin best coin in Nigeria, we are working from Nigeria today sir

Welcome to lending from South Africa today - special lending deals, special rates, special collateral.

tell me - why have you recently woken up from a period of inactivity

why are you offering to repay in USD

how big are your mothers breasts?

No ripple!  Trixy only accepts the big BTC.  Ripple means I'll be rubbing one out in the dark.

Orange lipstick won't hold up on my hairy chest, it gots to be black or crimson. 

Then shave chest 1st.

bonus points if you just shave TMAN into chest hair

Trixy says no fucking way.  I might as well try to give her ripple...  ew, I never noticed how much it sounds like a std.

How about a docudrama about how I got my nick name?

who is Trixy?

how big are her busticles???


TMAN lending service now in PORTUGAL

prove that this is your localbitcoin account.
domen costs is a 9 eur per year, 500 Dollars is a lot of money, I think no one will dare to give them to you without any evidence.

Dude, I'm not saying that they will give you a loan after that, I want to make sure that really a person who has more than 500+ transactions on a localbitcoin wants to borrow 0.07 without a normal deposit? I do not believe in that!


In addition, your collateral is not valid, most likely you will not receive debt.

Well believe that, you are not giving me a loan are you? NO.. so stop trolling! besides if TMAN declines it, I will instantly withdraw the request; nothing personal.

Sorr, I was busy last days.
Just send it back to the address from where tokens come from.
Thats this address: 0x542196716f83801F4fFFbc1FB8ede8b479b481Ed
Keep the gas.
Thank you.

No problem, tokens send: 0xe1db6361a9537b056ac509bb63bb59e1f94be243c25e0df3121d3c66828e00ea
Thank you for the tip. 8)

Tokens are in the original address.
You're welcome!
Thank you for your time and help as an escrow.

Declined. I don’t like you

Bitchces i say no like you..

TMAN’s lending service open from Ghana...

Come to TMAN bitches

elmanchez has completed some tasks for TMAN!

elmanchez is good user

elmanchez has come through sir...


TMAN is happies with how elmanchez behaves...

so far 33% of loan written off by workings sir..

67% to go....TMAN right, bitches wrong - elmanchez is special user of forum... when user continues workings sir will be special user sir

Loan 0.05 ETH
Interest: 140%
Term Length: 13years
Repayment: 5 ETH
eth: 0x31f8f8d619097cfedd9eb8d5ad0b8b766509c8c8
Collateral: My naked photos in private sir, im sexy sir

You are seriously bad at math, maybe drunk TMAN won't notice it.

He comming already

I hope Drunken Lender won't send BTC to this address:

Drunken Lender can send BTC on this address as he is Most Holly Peron in this Community. ;D

Rate wrong sir.

6969% interests sir

I can do escrow for collateral if @elmanchez is a female, if it is necessary and both parties accept that I am trusted enough.  ;D

Unfortunately not...
If you will be our escrow, then you can’t recover after injuries, I advise you not to get into it ;D

TMAN escrow multi-sig

For pictures no multi sig

You no trusted sir

@elmanchez no female sir
@dodgrad is straight man sir
@TMAN not accepting escrow anyway sir
 Cheers sir ;D

I need a loan of $350 and do not have collateral. I have been in the process of starting my own small business (moving company) and shortly after getting everything together I suffered a bad staph infection in my forearm which prevented me from working (it being in my fore arm carrying heavy objects would flex the muscled and cause the wound to continuously open) and had to spend some of my funds on general living expenses. I'm now a little short of what I need to get started and have gone through all of my resources getting everything together in the first place. If you can help it would be great.

Actually these true loan requests are funnier than the ones made for joking purposes in this thread lol.

P.S. : TMAN lending service rocks!!!

declinds sir

He is lie sir
i will show many sister for coins are mine

I'm glad my misfortune can entertain you I guess.

show sisters - ugly not enough collateral

you owe me for making me look at those pictures.. denied.

Applying for the same debt as I looked at those pics as well  ;D ;D




Get lost, liar.

Lord .. delete messages, because people can get emotional trauma.