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Hello,

I am happy to announce that my lifelong quest of learning to write fiction finally seems to have come to fruition. Had writer's block my whole life and always ran out of words when I most needed them.

Anyway so I figured out a way to free myself from the shackles of writer's block. So now I am simultaneously in a situation where I've lost a lot of money due to the market crash and I need to make some funds to support myself. I am hereby offering a storytelling and writing service. Negotiable fees. ETH and BTC addresses will be announced in the next few thread updates. Also accept tokens and other alts.

Please contact me if you need a story or writing services. I consider myself to be the greatest living writer in the world at the moment. Here's a sample.

Joey's Garage

Joey's Garage was where he used to repair old motorbikes. He didn't have a girlfriend at the moment so he spent all the time repairing old motorbikes. One day an alien landed outside his garage.
"Hi Earthling", the alien said. "I'm a really friendly species".
But Joey was hiding behind his coach and didn't understand a single word the alien said to him.
The alien sat down in the sofa and made itself comfortable. "Ah", it sighed in relief in the red sofa.
Joey came up from behind the coach. "What... Are you doing here?" he said.
The alien replied again but again Joey couldn't understand a single word.
"Oh sorry, I forgot to turn on the translator", the alien said and clicked a button. "Here, is that better"? it said.
"I... I can understand you", Joey said.
Joey's cat walked into the room, coming back from outside.
"Here, can I take a selfie with you?" the alien said, pulled out a selfie stick and turned around to take a selfie with Joey.
"So Earthling, I left my planet and I'm going to move into this neighbourhood", the alien said. "Capisce?"
Joey was dumbfounded. But he was a cool guy so he started to chillax after a while.
"Excuse me", the alien said and pulled a big chunk of wool out of his giant blue ears.
"What did you do that for? Why do you have wool in your ears", Joey said.
"Uhm, it's a trick I do sometimes, the alien said. I guess I kind of want attention. My name is Barnie by the way. Nice to meet you."
"Do you know any more tricks", Joey said.
"I can play the trumpet", Barnie said.
"I've come a long way", Barnie said again. "Do you have some snacks and soda?"
"Hang on, let me check in the fridge", Joey said.
"Uups, it's empty. Forgot to buy stuff while repairing the motorbike again."
"That old thing", Barnie said. "Would you mind if I put a small space engine on it? It will blast through space at 2 million miles per hour at least".
"Interesting", Joey said, cautiously. "Let me think about the consequences first".
"Say, this is a comfortable sofa the alien said", stretched out and soon fell asleep.
"Great, what do I do now", Joey thought.
He returned to the motorbike and continued repairing it.