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How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

It depends on the part of the world you are from because 80%+ of the population of a developed country are financially sufficient and do not border others and if anyone is looking to get a loan then he can visit the bank and pay some interest but for personal loans, I think that is near zero chances.


But that doesn't eliminate the place of gifting others if you have and you really know their in need of that money also instead of borrowing from people,  only gift them what you can afford to let go that way you won't be hurt if they never pay back the loan because most people won't pay back such loans.

Only lend out what you can afford to lose.
In the past, if someone whom I am not certain about came to me asking for Financial assistance, I would only give them the amount am comfortable losing in case they don't repay. For the case of family members or very close friends, I give them without expecting it back.

If I feel like I can't afford to lend out the money I have, i just simply tell them that I don't have anything I can lend out at that moment. If they offer any form of tangible collateral, then well and good.

Is denying it out of the question? I understand that you may want to assist them and that them asking you is putting you in a difficult position, but it's not you who is going to solve their financial issues. I've also lent money to a few people in the past or done similar favors for them, such as ordering them something from the internet, without having received the money beforehand. The latter got me in trouble twice, but I learned my lesson.

I had a so-called close friend who took over a year to repay me. I still had the goods he ordered, but they were worthless to me. The only people I've borrowed money from were in my immediate environment and couldn't avoid me forever if they had such intentions. You shouldn't be ashamed to say no; you're not to be taken advantage of. Help only those that you trust; if you're having second thoughts about someone, just say deny. You're also working your money; it didn't grow on trees.

I don't have much experience with such situations because I barely get requests from someone that I would borrow money them. And there isn't that big circle of people that I would lend money and have my trust. You know, when things comes to money, people often change into bad side. And if I would get request to borrow really significant amount of money, something like $5000 - $10 000, then I would suggest him to go to bank.
So, usually I get requests from friends to borrow something like $1 or $2 when they don't have cash and want to take coffee from vending machine :).

Luckily i don't have that kind of family. I provide for my kids but that's it, even they aren't demanding money from me. My friends can be broke but they don't accept charity or debt. I might offer them drinks etc but giving too much is embarassing for everyone. And i totally understand why it's hard to accept even free given money. It leaves this feeling of debt. And after that every time we see they would need an excuse why they haven't paid, so they will start to avoid me.

Debt has ruined friendships, just like hiring your friends and being their boss. It ruines a balance of equality. It shouldn't but it easily does.

If they're asking for a certain amount of money, give at least 1/8 or 1/4 of it or any amount that you think is fine for you. In that case, you're able to get rid of them and they won't come to you asking money again. That's going to save you a lot of money and stress from them when they're trying to poke you that you've got money and you're not allowing them to borrow. And the money you'll give to them is no longer a loan but a willing give so they won't approach again in the future.

There's no helping in the future to them if ever they'll be in need. They think that they're able to escape from asking them for a payment but I am thinking that they will never get close to me ever again.

The trick is to dress like a homeless person and drive an old car, then nobody asks you for money. It works for me pretty well. Although I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to pull that off given my desire for a Tesla. I wouldn’t call people borrowers though. You should never loan money to friends or family, only give it to them.

Buy a Tesla and coat the exterior like an old car ;D
It is true that when you don't show up, people wouldn't know how much you worth and they will not come asking for financial assistance.
This has done me bad thanks good that my money in people's had is much. They don't return at due time and I also do not have the ability to take extreme measures in order to reclaim my money and that is where my problem lies.

What I have implemented is what Jerome Tash said, I don't lend anymore. I give what I am able to lose and I do not expect refund.

I guess you don't give money and the problem shorts out itself eventually? The question is asking yourself why are you lending or giving that money away? Is is a religious matter? Is it your family? Friends? Perhaps you need to consider restricting the amount progressively so they understand that it will eventually dry-out so they start looking for alternativess.

My ex director told me something very unique about how to handle these guys even if they are close relatives or parents,of course parents and relative we help each other as much as we can so most likely this advice is for those people who borrow money and never turn it back,we had a lot of bad gamblers in my previous company and the director was not a gambler.They kept asking him 10-30 dollars lending money and he told me that he used to gave them 100 dollars and if he did not get them back,it was the best 100 dollars spent in his life as he would have nothing to do with them anymore as they could not ask more money before paying their debt.

Establish clear boundaries and communicate openly with your loved ones about your financial limitations, while encouraging self-sufficiency and addressing non-payment issues assertively to maintain a healthy balance between helping others and protecting your own financial well-being.

You should only lend maximum of 50% from the money they ask, you could only lend 10% to lower the risk of being scammed.

If they're force you to give them all, you need to learn about giving many excuses. The last solution, you can ask them to take a loan from bank or online service. The reason why your friend and family can ask you money is you're look have a good life, so you need to wear a cheap clothes and avoid wearing jewelry or expensive thing.

First set clear boundaries and communicate openly with your loved ones about your financial limitations.
When dealing with individuals who fail to repay borrowed money or make no effort to do so, have an honest conversation, establish clear expectations, and consider seeking professional advice if necessary.

How do you handle borrowers?


Loan them anything that they ask for. Of course, if you don't have it, you certainly can't loan it. So, when they find that out, they will stop asking after a while.

Jesus said, in Matthew 5:42: "Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you," - https://www.biblehub.com/matthew/5-42.htm.

Jesus also said, Luke 14:33: "In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples," - https://www.biblehub.com/luke/14-33.htm.

This give you a double opportunity:

1. It gives you an opportunity to graciously give up everything, by giving to those who ask to borrow them (You know that many borrowers never pay the things back.), so you can be a disciple of Jesus.

2. You know that you need some of the things that you are giving up. So, it gives you the opportunity to talk "Jesus" to the borrowers, requesting them to not ask to borrow from you, but to give up everything, so they can be disciples of Jesus just as you are.




8)

If you have you extent to them because you will not be buried with the money you have.


This set of people who borrow with the promise of returning it and never do are funny set of people. They actually make no effort to pay back at least most of them and the shocker is that they pretend to have returned it to you. You can see yourself arguing with them when they shock you with such information that they have returned it  ;D


If you think the borrower just want to run away with the money, then you may give part of the money on the request that you can forfeit. You may not disclose to the person that you won't ask for the money but within you, you have decided not to ask for it again and if the person comes back to repay it, you let them know it is a gift. I think such surprise will be an imprint in the annals of time in your relationship with the person.

Of course there's not like some hidden formula to keep borrowers at bay but I feel you can limit how often they come to you by giving with interest. Some people get put off by the mere thought of paying extra after borrowing.

It can be challenging to borrow especially with the current economic situation and begin to wonder if this person might be able to meet up so I understand your situation, Op.
I prefer to give if I have but try to limit how much of a Santa I become because such can not just be physically exhausting, it will also tell on your finances.

I have more money that I show to my friends. I don't show off wealth, so they don't know how much I really have. Almost nobody asks me for money and if they do it's very small amounts and I give it to them.
Best thing you can do is look poorer than you really are. Believe me, you might think like you need attention, but you don't.

One thing certain is that when they noticed you are beginning to give money and helping people around request will increasing everyday by day, and whenever you keep lending to people and they noticed you are financially buoyant the request for loan will also keep increasing as well. As human being we are all we need to do is not to satisfy everyone, we should choose among people we are comfortable with while given out money to them, it could be loan or gift.
For people who borrowed money from you and never wanted to repay back their loan, I think the best thing to do is to start collecting collateral from them and it should be that what you will request as collateral will be more beneficial to you than the amount giving out to them so that it would attract them to repay back with immediate effects.

You cannot please everybody. If you want to give everybody that ask, you will end up in debt. It is good to help those that are in need but you should do so based on your capacity. You should have a budget of how much you can give out to relatives and friends. Do not exceed the budget because you need to save for your future. If you spend all your money on people, you might not get the same financial help when you need it. Politely tell them you don't have and inform them when you can afford to help. Don't mind if they get offended because you must protect your interests first.


Lending is like cryptocurrency, give to only people that you trust will repay the loan. You can ask for collateral if the person is not trustworthy. Borrowing is also like gambling, only lend what you can afford to lose. When someone I don't trust asks for a loan, I will assist the person with part of the loan which I can afford to lose. Even if the person fails to pay me back, I can bear the l

I don't want to let them do that because it's a bit annoying. The solution depends on whether the relative has a bad loan history, either with you or anyone else. From there you have a conclusive estimate of how responsible they will be if you grant the demand. If they are bad at this, I might just give a modest amount of money out of generosity.

It's easier to be said, than done.

There are many good lenders out there are always contact the borrowers everyday to repay the loan and using clear terms is useless because the borrowers will not care about it. This make the lenders just want their money back, at least the initial money without interest rate, but the borrowers always say they don't have money.

When you force and give them pressure to pay, they would angry and might attack you.

Jones lives in the house next to mine on the right. Smith lives in the house on my left. Jones borrowed my lawn mower from me. He never brought it back, even when I asked him for it.

Smith came over and wanted to borrow my lawn mower. I told him I couldn't loan it to him, because Jones had borrowed it, and never returned it. I didn't have it to mow my own lawn, to say nothing about loaning it out to my neighbors.

Smith went over to Jones's house, beat the crap out of him, and brought my lawn mower back to me. So, I loaned it to Smith, because I was too scared that he might beat the crap out of me if I didn't.

 :D

EDIT: BTW, Smith brought my lawn mower back after he finished his yard. But now the cops are after me because Jones told them I hired Smith to go beat the crap out of him, and Smith won't tell them the truth, that it was his own idea.

To remind them softly helps in cases where it is important they return what was borrowed, unless borrowing is the business, please enforce authority. If it is something that holds little value and can be easily replaced or there's a spare or somehow you seem to manage well without it, you can leave them to their memory, until they remember.

For family or friends, firstly remember, what are friends for, if not for inconveniences. Family is family. If it is something you can overlook, please do so. If not, remember they are the only family you got to remind them still. If they respect you they will refund what was borrowed, if they don't respect you, they won't return or refund. Still, they are family.

The best way to avoid such a scenario is avoid borrowing in total.

I mostly try to keep my financial situation as private as possible and only share it with my parents, who are very discreet in those matters.
In my family we a re accustomed to help each other with money, we do not offer loans but rather give away when someone is in need, so there would be no future problems because there is no actual debt generated in the first place.

There has been many instances my mother has gave money to their sisters and even the children of them, without expecting any payment back. It is better that way I think, it keeps family closer to one another.

In my case, I would not hesitate to support my near family financially - I can trust them as they are "simple people" with "simple lives" which means they do not get into trouble and stick to a very boring, predictable and stable style of life. Perhaps that is the reason why they never had to ask me for any short of financial help. Speaking of me... I do not recall ever borrowing more than the equivalent of 20 usd, and that because I forgot my wallet or the like.

Borrowing has cost a lot of disputes and shame to the society and to individuals, because people who borrow in good manners end up not meeting up and always return it in quarrel or fight. given the lender problem.

you will see people coming to borrow money from you with good smile and when you ask they pay back, they will start ignoring your calls and text. so have learnt never to borrow what i can not give away. e.g if you want to borrow 5$ from me, I'll give you 2$. so in case you didn't pay back, I'll not bother.

secondly, have stopped borrowing money to family menbers, instead i dash them. to avoid crises in the family.

thats the only way to handle borrowers.

They say the face that people use while they want to borrow money is not the same face when the time comes for repayment. That ignoring of phone calls by debtors is a known fact. It is an obvious signal that the debtor is avoiding payment. Although sometimes it may be that the money for repayment is not ready but it suppose to be related to the creditor but out of shame, the debtor could be avoiding the call. At other times it might be an exit scam outrightly

This is a really important matter to manage. But basically, I don't even let them know I have money to give them or show any indication that they can obtain what they want from me. Sometimes, your actions and reactions to things make them feel dependant on you, and they will constantly want to lean on your riches, which many will not want to pay back, and they will use the phrase "relatives" to reap you off your wealth. It is preferable to have the idea of dashing out your money to your relatives rather than having the mindset of it being borrowed by them and awaiting a return; otherwise, you may stay forever and never get it back.

Being helpful is crucial. We all know that when you have money, you should try to help those around you because doing so will lead to greater success. However, these things can always happen when you always show up with money, and I think people will always come to you with financial issues at any time. But I don't typically flaunt my wealth to my family and friends. When they ask, I often give them 45% of what they requested since I always believe that if I can completely satisfy them, they will still come back. However, I want them to understand that I am that kind cash-strapped.


Since they have already let me down once, I don't really try to borrow them money again if they don't pay it back after the first time. I don't give them another chance because even if I try to help them out, they won't pay me this time because they have already let me down once.

There's a popular saying that the manner in which people comes to borrow money is not the same manner which they return it. On this note, I only borrow money to people who have no close relationship with me because asking them for a collateral will remind them to pay faster but when it comes to borrowing money to people closer to me or people with close relationship, the best help I offer is to dash them an amount that won't affect me, in dashing them a certain amount which may not be up to what they intend to borrow, I have made it know to them that it's not refundable so they don't let it bother them.

When you borrow some people money, you either end up being seen as a bad person because you requested for the refund of your hard earned money or they see you as part of the bad luck they are having in the family. I have stopped borrowing money to people rather I render some help in my own little way to avoid having issues whenever they fail to pay back.

Family and friends will always be around you ones they know you have money, they can do everything possible to be on your side no matter what as long as they can get what they want from you and they know you can't say no to them. Is really hard to even say no but the best thing is to help and be mindful of how you help out because the day you go bankrupt they'll be no where to be found.
About those who borrow without making any effort to pay back, what I do to such people is let them be without disturbing them, if they decide not to pay I'll take it that I have settled that particular person for life, he won't come to demand for money from me knowing quite alright that he's still owing me, if he/she doesn't pay then nothing for for them, it has to be that way. By doing so it will limit them from coming to ask ones they know they can't pay back.

I handle borrowers the same way I handle browsers. I don't give an inch. I don't compromise. There is a good saying in my country: "If you give your hand today, you will give your ass tomorrow."

So when a neighbor or relative asks a loan from me, I tell them go fu... no, I tell them to go to a bank. Banks exist for this reason. To provide loans...

If he/she can't borrow money from a bank, well shit, then it means he/she shouldn't be having it.

I came from a country where family is deemed the most important and the culture of lending money to them is prevalent. If you don’t give them money, you’ll be considered as someone who isn’t kind. A lot of people are saying that it’s not your responsibility to give them money but like I said for countries such as mine, denying them is not the easiest thing to do. There’s really no other way but to just give what you can when they really need it. A lot of people however would end up borrowing money from you again and again if you give them one time so it’s better to tell them  that you’re also short and have no extra money to lend. You’d probably feel guilty (depending on your relationship with your family) but you can’t sacrifice your own finances to help someone.

If they are so poor that they don't have food, even, give to the poor. But make sure they won't be spending it on fentanyl first. Maybe buy the literal food for them.

Other than that, loan to everybody... after you get some collateral from them that is 3 times the value of what you loan out. If they don't repay, the collateral is yours.

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I help as long as I can in my own little way especially if it's a family. Just like now, my brother had a blood clot operation on his brain. Aside from the financial help that I can give, I'm also one of his companion in the hospital until he's discharged.

I experienced this many times and it's really disappointing when someone you trust failed to return the money on the promised date. So you can only borrow if you're responsible, otherwise you can't repeat borrowing from me since I learned my lesson already.

The possibility of the poor providing collateral is very small yet they need loan , so what do you do in such instance when they can not provide collateral? I think that is a delicate situation . IMO I think depending on the amount they are asking for, if it is reasonable with what they want to do with the loan, you can split into three also and give to help them without asking for it back, that is if you can afford to especially with family and close friend but a random person may not be of same consideration.

That’s a tough situation. I know how you feel. I have a lot of family and friends who are always asking me for money. They think I’m a bank or something. 😒

I have a few strategies to deal with them. First, I always ask them what they need the money for. If it’s something urgent or important, like a medical bill or a rent payment, I might consider helping them. But if it’s something frivolous or unnecessary, like a new phone or a vacation, I say no.

Second, I always make them sign a contract when I lend them money. I write down the amount, the interest rate, the repayment schedule, and the consequences of defaulting. I make them read it carefully and sign it in front of a witness. Then I keep a copy for myself. That way, they can’t deny or forget that they owe me money. 😏

Third, I always follow up with them regularly. I send them reminders and invoices every month. I call them and text them and email them and visit them. I make sure they know that I’m serious about getting my money back. I don’t let them ignore me or avoid me. 😠

Fourth, I always cut them off if they don’t pay me back. I don’t lend them any more money. I don’t do them any favors. I don’t invite them to my parties or events. I don’t talk to them or hang out with them. I make them feel the consequences of their actions. 😤

These are some of the ways that I handle the situation. It may sound harsh, but it works for me. It helps me to avoid being taken advantage of and to protect my finances.

I hope this helps you too. Good luck with your money problems. And remember, you can always say no to people who ask you for money. It’s your money, not theirs. 😉

Usually the collateral is about his personal information, when they can't pay their loan, the debt collector will always contact them and even come into their house to force them to pay. They will intimidate the loaner's family and his neighbor too, so it will make the loaner's family feel shy and want to get rid off from the loan. Most of the time, they will pay the loan because of getting pressured.

Usually if this happens to me personally, there are several stages, which I will do to get a decision, to lend or not.

The first thing I will do is measure my own abilities first, in terms of the finances that I have. Do I have cold cash that I won't use in a long time, Or nothing. Then if I have the cold money, I will definitely proceed to the second stage.

Then for the second stage, I will definitely see who will borrow the money. Because for example, if that person has something I don't like, especially in terms of attitude, I most likely won't lend that person money. Because people with a bad attitude usually find it difficult to pay when it's time to collect debt, and it will definitely make things more complicated.

And for the last stage, I will definitely ask the person the reason why he wants to borrow money. Because if the reason he is borrowing money is for something that is positive or for something urgent and concerning. I will definitely give him a loan.

If this situation has occurred, I will definitely continue to collect debts from the borrower continuously. But if the borrower still doesn't pay it, I will definitely let it go, if the money borrowed by that person is not too big. But if the money borrowed is quite large, I will definitely make a letter of agreement with that person, just in case the person is still reluctant to pay the debt, I will confiscate the items that the person has whose price is in accordance with the debt he has.

If someone owes you money and is not repaying it, there are some steps you can take:

Communicate: Start by reaching out to the person and kindly remind them about the debt. Give them an opportunity to explain any reasons for the delay in repayment.

Set clear expectations: If the person acknowledges the debt and agrees to repay, establish a clear repayment plan. Discuss the repayment schedule, including dates and amounts, and ensure both parties are in agreement.

Put it in writing: To make the agreement more formal and legally binding, consider drafting a written agreement or promissory note that outlines the terms of repayment. This can help protect your interests and provide evidence if legal action becomes necessary.

Be persistent: If the person fails to repay as agreed, follow up with polite reminders. Keep a record of all communication and documentation related to the debt.

Mediation or arbitration: If the debt remains unpaid and the relationship is becoming strained, you could suggest involving a neutral third party, such as a mediator or arbitrator, to help facilitate a resolution. This can be a more amicable way to address the issue and find a solution that works for both parties.

Legal action: As a last resort, you may need to consider taking legal action. Consult with an attorney to understand your rights and options for pursuing legal remedies, such as filing a lawsuit or pursuing debt collection procedures.

Remember, each situation is unique, and the best course of action may vary depending on the amount owed, the relationship with the person, and your own comfort level with pursuing legal action.

I have been doing this for years and even though I am not very rich at all. This is effective that someone wouldn't come to approach you whenever they're in need and only will catch up when they need you.

Well, I wonder how you're going to hide it all when the market becomes better and you'll be cashing out some profits.

Proven and tested, you don't give them loan but if they ask you then you should be willing to just give if you've got some spare at the amount you're thinking that's gone and unpaid forever.

Regarding owning a Tesla and good clothes and a mansion, when they ask you to borrow, you can always tell them that you are so deeply in debt that you don't have anything for them to borrow.

8)

Well, I've got relatives that mostly tell this when they're being approached. That's a good excuse if a person do really insists to borrow money from you and they're picking an argument that you can afford those things.

Another good answer is to say that they're not part of the budget and thus, you're able to afford those things because you've planned it very long and worked hard for it until you've got left nothing in cash.  :P

As for me I only lend my friends some money that I think they can easily pay me back and also I don't mind losing it because sometimes those people don't return back the money they borrowed because they might already forget it or they just don't really care to pay back again and when that happens when they want to borrow money from me, I will tell them I don't have any money. I'm not lying about this but what I meant to say is, I don't have any money to lose anymore because I'm working so hard to get that money and they promised to pay me but they didn't do it at all.

Learn this first lesson from the school of thought, don't borrow people money you cannot afford to loose, instead of borrowing them, try to give then the little you could afford to help them, lending people money will just compound some people's problem because they will never have enough to use and will not as well be grateful that you lend them money later, only few managed to make refundment of the money they once borrowed from others.


I don't usually borrow people money, when am being asked to lend them, i only give out what i can afford to freely help them with it, i chose to use this kind of method after several encounters on being disappointed by people especially those so close to me.

The best thing to do is to give them the amount that wouldn't be a problem to you,so that if they can't pay back,you wouldn't be who worried about it. Another way is to set a trap for them by borrowing them whatever amount of money that they asked. If they can't pay you back,then you can use the previous unpaid debt as an excuse.

I have borrowed some money from a friend but each time I think of my debt, it baffles me and the moment I get paid,I will quickly pay them back and if it is a huge sum,I will pay part of it. Borrowing is not good for someone who wants to have financial stability. I know of a friend that lives his life on borrowing and paying back with interest,but he is not living a comfortable life because he uses majority of his income to clear part of his debts as the interest keeps on increasing.

This is the same thing I do, if I want to give money I give the amount which I know if I don't get it back I won't be bothered about it, and getting the money back will determine if I'll still give out  money to the person. People who borrow money and choose not to pay back don't know the harm they are  doing to themselves because they may be in serious problem that can lead them to the person where they borrowed money but because they didn't pay back they won't be given the same opportunity this time around. It is always good to have integrity when it comes to money.

How do you handle borrowers?


Remember one major thing. With regard to you, they aren't borrowers until they have borrowed something. And then it is too late.



8)

These two ideas are good and the first seem to be the general concensus about the way people treat the issue of borrowing money but the second which is letting go of the money they want to borrow as trap but that is dangerous depending on how much is involved and your strength to forfeit it. If the sum is huge, it will be difficult to do as a trap except it is still within your reach to forfeit it. I still prefer the first one to be used especially if you know the person will not be able to repay how much is involved.

When they ask for money, tell them you can't loan it to them. When they ask why not, tell them that you heard a really good sermon at church, that all about how Jesus said to give to those who asked from you, and to not turn away from those who want to borrow from you. And that the sermon was so good that you are giving the money to the church, instead of loaning it.

8)

Only lend out what you can afford to lose.
I think that is the best thing to do, if you are not ready to loose it. Don't lend it.

We can't put family issues aside, so no matter how you try to help someone when you're not wealthy enough, it will undoubtedly cause problems for you. The way I handle people who used to borrow money and never pay it back is that I give it to them when they come to me for the first time and tell me about the problems they need the money for, knowing that I might need it myself too. However, I make sure that doesn't happen twice if the person didn't pay back. When someone asks to borrow money from me again and shows no signs of returning it, I won't question where about the previous one he borrowed, instead, I'll just tell him that I don't have any more and that my problems are too big for me to handle.

If you keep giving them, they'll start to take advantage of you and keep borrowing money for their problems without making the repayment, which is really frustrating.

Avoid putting yourself in a difficult financial situation by overextending yourself to help others. It is important to be careful when lending money to others. It is better to lend money to people you trust. But I once lent money to my friend but he couldn't pay back on time when I was in dire need. Later my relationship with him got destroyed. Later I realized, when I needed money he had no money his financial situation was very bad. One thing I have learned since that incident is that if one has to lend money to the nearest person one must check his financial background.

rule number one is never to disclose how much you're earning to your relative. It will remove any form of entitlement from them because ones they know how much you re earning, it's going to be very difficult to refuse giving them money since they already know you have the money.

But if you've already given them the money, it's always very difficult to take it back because most of them wouldn't even want to give you back. Whenever I give a relative money, I just convince myself that they won't be paying the money back. If they pay it back, it's good but if not, I meuve

Op this issue you brought to this forum is what has happened to some my family members. I really hate when financial deal has been made and the other party refused to accomplish his or her parr of the agreement. When you have borrowed money from someone and when the due date has reached and you are still postponing it and the owner of the money need the money to settle some of his problems at home. Last 4 months, my elder sister took $200 as of then and to pay back last month but the time comes, she postponed it to the ending of this month while I need money to buy things in this Christmas.

Frankly speaking it is not good to borrow money to someone you know very well. They will disappoint you.

In the aspect of lending money I can't relate, I don't agree with the of lending money to an unknown person, have seen several occasions when two people fought just because of dept and I'm not ready to fight with some else just because of dept so the best option here is to withdraw yourself from such act, sometimes the reason why some people can't pay back their dept the interest rate is just too high, I don't know how things are done in your area but here every month the interest rate keeps increasing if the deptor can't pay before the time so this are common reasons why people can't pay back their dept.

Concerning the family issue if you don't have the money to help that's fine but in a situation where the person has enough home and can't help maybe due to family needs and personal issue I will not also blame the person, it's best to employ if you have a company or finding a job for the person I think that's the best way cause when the person is financially stable there's no point disturbing you.

Be clear that you never lend money to your family and friends, if you want to help then consider it as donation and never expect it to be returned cause if they has the ability to pay back then they could get a personal loan from their bank which means they are not in the position to pay you back and you still considering helping them then consider it as a complete loss.

While it's hard to lose people, this is one way for you to get rid of the ones you hate. Whether you hand them their loan or not, they'll still dislike you after that. I don't know what's with these people that know how to borrow but when it's about paying, they seem to be forgetful or they start to have dementia.

No problem if the amounts are just like a few bucks that you can just buy some snacks of yours. But these people are also demanding a lot and more than hundred bucks equivalent to whatever purpose they're going to reason out. The point is if you're able, give them the exact amount they want but never ever think that they'll pay you back. Usually, they're comfortable because you are friends with them and they're not going to talk about it later on.

If you've dealt with such people, that's how it goes so choose wisely if you'll lend them or not because no matter what you do, you'll still bad in their eyesight after it especially when you give them the loan and asks to pay back.

Well, in life you can never satisfy everyone even yourself because there are times when we needed something for ourselves but we prefer to assist others and deprive ourselves. Is quite unfortunate that in the society we are no matter how you help people they will still complain that you didn't give them much help then how about those that didn't get help at all. Borrowing money to people more especially relatives can be very stressful because they'll feel that since you're their relative you ain't gonna bother them so for me, any money I borrowed to a relation I consider that I have forgotten about it but if they still return it fine but if they don't I just allow the money to go.

Many things have happened to me about borrowing and giving to friends. One thing is that when they know you have the mind of giving, more and more people will keep approaching you for giving or fake borrowing untill you go broke. If you stop helping, no one will die of course.

There's one that happened to me recently. Someone called me to lend him $200 that he will repay in month time. I was unable to lend him because I exhausted my fund for charity that month. Can you imagine that exactly the same day he promised to pay back the money, he chatted me up and was asking for any amount of money to fill gas. I sent him money for gas, and was like, assuming I gave that $200, there was no how it would be repaid.

It is very important for us to differentiate between family and friends. Borrowing your family members money and they are not ready to pay is something that can be settled amicably without any problem but we must also remember that it can always lead to big problem if the person in particular is not always ready to pay back. We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

Some humans are very difficult set of people,  when lending money expecially to people at the time one needs to be careful. If it someone you don't really know much about the person if the money will be returned back at the due time, it is not advisable to lend such person a huge amount because it is a risk which their is no guarantee if the person will return the money or not.  If at all we want to decide to lend people which will can tell how straightforward they are atleast we can start with the amount we can't afford to lose or not to give at all to avoid unnecessary problems to pay back the money.

I cannot put my finger in what he means with that either, if I had to guess I suppose he means one could force someone to give us back the money through legal procedures or by negotiation of the interest rate, not sure.
In the worst case, I believe getting some colateral is the best idea when comes to giving money to strangers and also family members, getting clear terms about a loan can help for both people not to lose their relationship because of money.

Though, depending whom you ask, asking a family member for collateral would be frown upon or distasteful. Here in my culture family is supposed the be the most important thing, so asking for colateral would be seen rather as something distasteful.

Legal procedures for small loan that will never work in my opinion and if possible to get collateral then it will give you something to hold on to get the money back but we are talking about family and friends who we are close with that means asking for a collateral can be uncomfortable but denying is always better than regretting it.

As a proud African that I am, I no longer borrow people due to the horrible experience I have had in the past.
If I have the money, I prefer giving you 50% of the money you ask free, than to borrow because most of the strain relationship I had now  is due to borrowing and their in ability to pay back.
I try to main relationship by not borrowing, but giving it out free if the money is not that much.

I will never displease myself to please other people. If I must lend anyone money, then it must be amounts I am willing to lose and not money I kept aside to use to settle specific needs because, some borrowers can be tricky,  especially the ones that are related to you by blood because they know that the consequences of their actions will be very minimal. Most times,  they might want to use emotional blackmail to lure you into lending to them sums you both know they cannot pay back. It is better you give out what you can afford to lose and forget about it, than giving out large sums you live to regret later. Many relationships have been ruined because of borrowing .

People really need to pay back their loans with the same energy they used to borrow it. This is the right thing to do.

This happened to my mom and the one who borrowed money from her was her brother, because my mom is also very kind and she can't stand her brother even though he is very stupid and has a separate family. Of course, the borrowed money was not paid until it reached the point where they were fighting and the children were already involved. In the end we were the bad ones, it was you who helped and you were the bad ones. 500k was borrowed money but it was not paid back. My mom let it go and what she did was that she didn't recognize that idiot as her brother, including his children. It was also a bad fight because I also fought with my cousin because he interfered in our parents' fight. We believe there is karma, just wait for them to come to them.

This is the best method to adapt when borrowing money to family and friends, lend the amount of money that you can afford to loose, so in the case where they can not repay, it'll not affect the relationship. Money matters are very sensitive, so we need to apply wisdom while dealing on financial matters with loved ones, because it's easy for envy and enemity to set in. So best thing is not to let them to know your true financial position, so as to avoid unnecessary enemity when you can not support financially or lend a loved one.

One of the disadvantages of disclosing how much you're truly worth to family and friends is because some envious and wicked ones among them will keep coming back for more financial help or lending that they have no intention of repaying until they're sure that you're broke at come down to their label. Some can even connive with criminals to plot how to steal from you, or worse kidnap or even murder, it's an extreme assumption, but it happens.

Borrowing has been part of human existence , no one has it all , most times we help irrespective of the little we have … there is this popular saying that states that “givers never lack” , So when you give Dont expect anything in returns But when it comes to lending money to people very close to you ! I will inarguably Say that it is not wrong even when you know that the Person cannot pay back just try as much as possible  To give out funds that you can let go … Dont expect So much from the money you give out as lending To someone around you because disappointment is certain .

It's crazy how some persons or family members always expect much from a person once they see the person has a nice job and is doing pretty good. They don't understand that most times you might not in perfect condition to be of aid to their problems and some will make it look like you being greedy.

One things I know for sure is I give what I have and if i don't have to give I clearly tell the person, so he has the option of looking else  where I wouldn't take loan on behalf of them.
Sometimes they should learn to do things on their own without the help of others, that's being dependent

That's right, this is the way to avoid any problem about that and it's very simple. You can really refuse if you yourself don't have money to lend to your family or friends, they will understand that. If you have something extra that you won't use, you can lend it, it's that simple. And I also agree with what you said that you should not expect to be able to return the money that your family borrowed because it is your family, not someone else's. And actually I am that family, I borrow money but I don't pay it back. Only for a small amount.

Its very hard to borrow a family relative money when you know that such person can't pay back whenever you needed the money or when the date is due giving or borrowing family member money is like sinking your money into Well because they will feel you have enough to even cover up maybe when you request the money you turn to their enemy because you simply request for your money, to me what i will always advise anyone close to me when giving a family member money you should only spare out the amount you can afford to loss because borrowing a family member money is like dashing them that money so you don't expect a pay back even though they personally request to borrow the money.

What i do?

Instead of Loaning  them the amount they needed I only handing them smaller amount

e.g . Borrowing 1 hundred dollars , I gave them 20 dollars instead but telling them it is
not a loan instead a Help so by chance they wil not come back to ask again because I already helped
them and they are too shy to ask for another in long time unless very important of emergency.\


Have done this many times and till not it helps , because the problem about loaning
our family members or friends is?

1. we may lose friendship/closeness because of the said loan.

2. Respect will be gone because of Unpaid loans.

So my way prevent that from happening for many years now.

You hit the point very well, the money you can't afford to lose is what should be given to family members,  one of the things that has always made family members to have misunderstanding is because of disagreement of money.  When it comes to money between family members people need to be careful because when family members are not in good terms it is very difficult to bring them back, so it is better to lend them money that you can't afford to lose.

One should not borrow money from one's family members if not returned on time it spoils the relationship and causes problems. Like any contract there are bound to be misunderstandings. Problems involving money can be especially tricky if a family member who agrees to lend money may need to repay the money before the agreed time or you may have difficulty paying the loan on time. Borrow only you can afford to pay back. Don't borrow from a family that you think may bring chaos to the family. If you take a loan from the family and repay it on time the bond is strengthened.

One of the very toughest situations where you're on the edge of the world. My friends always seek financial help and I been helping them at my best. but when i get into some difficulties or tend to ask the money back. I have to go through the whole process of explaining why I need the money back.

After learning about them I made a strict policy to myself. It's a BIG NO to borrowers than saying YES and losing the respect and bond we had over anything.

Just being practical is more of a way to handle them.

There's a lot of challenges going on with every individual it's possible to help everyone who's in need  when you are willing to help your fellow brother or friend and you have enough money to give to him when he's in need of it remember we should always do good it comes back to us unexpected ways.

If they want to borrow something from me, they must really be in sad shape. At least, for the moment, I have a roof over my head.

8)

Just like gambling, trading is very risky. We always say that it is better to use the amount of money that you can lose for gambling or trading. Similarly, you lend the amount of money that you can lose. There are many people in the society who take loans but later do not repay the loan money and he walks around very peacefully. Many people have come to me for this day who have come to me for loans in the first case I must have given the loan those who have taken the loan in the second case they have not come to take the loan because they have taken it once and then they do not come again creating a dilemma within themselves. So always lend the amount of money you have the patience to lose, never lend more than that, every time you lend, you will slowly become destitute.

Lending is a business to someone credit companies most especially in African countries so, the idea of lending what you can afford to forget is a wrong notion.

Try to ensure that every borrower should provide an equivalent property as a collateral. If it is not for profit making then stop borrowing them.

Relatives and friends will take advantage of you when that's your sole weakness. When they borrow money, they'll just have to show you that they are in a sad and terrible shape for your heart to get touched by their emotion and you'll be caught by that as well. With that emotion, it's what you feel about them and even if they have a different reason as long as they're able to successfully touched your heart then you'll later on going to give it to them which is a bad trait. Because I've been there and they'll take advantage of you every time they are in need of money and worse if they don't even pay on due or never paid.  :-\

If this is just a person to person lending, and it's mostly discussed about verbal agreements. The requirements will be easy because you're lending them out of good will and your concern to them. But many of these borrowers are going to take advantage of you so, when you get to that point, always point them out with the actual lending business and see if they'll be able to ask money from them easily just as how you as a person lent them.

And they are not even grateful that you've granted their loan with that much terms but all you are asking is to get paid by them even with no interest. But you know in these times, many of them forget your good times that you've lent them and will even get mad upon reminding them about their default.

Depends on the person who borrow money from me because sometimes when it is my sibling or my parent, I never ask my money back from them since I know they were in need and didn't have someone to ask to borrow. I'm having hard time to ask my money back from those who borrowed from me to pay some important things or others and those people are mostly my friends and those whom I know because they seem to purposely forget their debt and they are not worried to pay me be back just because I never ask them.

I have learned a lot from my experience, there are more people who don't return loans than those who do. So my advice to you is to have the courage to say no, usually you keep lending people money because you feel bad about not lending. If that's your family, just help as much as you can, help them with money that won't bother you if the money is lost. and don't expect to be returned. but if it's someone else just say no.

I don't borrow friends, and relatives money based on what I have experienced in the past, that made the matter to make me look like a fool in the police station because, I didn't have any written agreement with them base on they are very close friends to me but they denied in the front of the police that they did not borrow any money from me but a year later they came back to me to apologize for what they did just that they don't want to enter prison.

 If anyone ask me money and, I know that I have plans for the money in my account, I can give the person as my spirit lead me and I will tell the person not to return the money so that the person will not feel bad that I have money, I don't want to borrow.

If someone is demanding too much from you, explain to them that you have goals that you’re working on and that the money you have isn’t enough. Also, you can’t wish they don’t ask you for money if you constantly spend money carelessly around them, so you have to watch out how you spend too.

For people who borrow and don’t return or make it an issue to refund, I let them know they have bought a ticket to never get money from me anymore. Just the way it works here on Bitcointalk; if a person doesn’t pay back, their reputation is gone forever, that’s it for me. Under no circumstance will I give such a person money again.

I have few experiences where you borrow to a friend and it becomes more difficult to get back whatever you borrowed especially money. One of few lessons I learnt was to know the financial capacity of that your Friend or relatives and only lending out an amount he/she can afford within the time frame to pay back, to avoid conflicts. Because this context of borrowing has been the reason for many broken friendships or brotherhood. So even if a friend asked you to borrow him 50$ and you know he can’t afford to pay you back within a week. It’s best you lend him 10$ instead

Borrowing money is not too good because it's not everyone that will keep to their words. If you borrowed one $10 he/she might not be able to pay back in time and it might result to conflicts like you say. Any amount you can not risk you shouldn't borrow it out, when you have only $10 you shouldn't borrow it out at all because you can't afford to risk it on someone that won't pay back on time or not at all

First, when providing a loan to someone, you must understand that there is a risk that you will not get your money back.  Hence, you must only loan your excess money (something that you can accept if the person choose to not pay you back ).  If you already permitted someone to borrow money from you and that person wants to borrow again, the decision to let that person borrow again is depending on that person's past record of paying to you.  If that person is a good payer, then you can just let that person borrow again.  If that person is not a good payer, then just firmly say No.  Just reject the person in a polite way and provide your reasons in a gentle manner.

One thing about giving it is impossible to help everyone or make everyone happy.  Just do the little you can do , do not put mich pressure on yourself just to help everybody around you. Before you make decisions of borrowing money you have to be sure if the person will be able to pay back the money without it causing problems.  We have to be careful with family and friends when it comes to things that involve money.

That's why there is a saying that says "only lend people what you can afford to let go". So if you anybody wants you to lend him/her money, just treat is like crypto investment. Especially when there is no collateral to back up the loan. There are people you might not be able to fight of they fail to pay, so always lend them the amount you can afford to let go of they fail to pay.

I think the simple solution is to never lend money to family or friends. It’s too difficult to manage & too awkward if they have trouble paying you back on time. I would rather just totally avoid ever lending monies to family, friends or colleagues. I do not like to cross the likes of business & friendship.

This is a very bad situation. Many people find it difficult to say no when someone wants to borrow money.  It is not possible to lend money to everyone at once.  Everyone is suffering from financial crisis now.  Because of this, many people are in debt. However, this trend should be reduced and no one should ask for a loan unless it is absolutely necessary. It is a very embarrassing situation.  And there are many people who take loans and pay them back late, which is not right at all.

Many will condemned this but it's unwise to lend it borrow any one money without collateral even if it's close relationship because many have curse alot of damages and issue between human.
Our people have the say that the mouth used in borrowing us different from paying back, human being us the mist difficult thing to deal with when it comes to do with money don't have Total trust in them.
The best way to hand such situations if ni collateral is to sort out where he work or invest and seek how they can remit some of its income into your account, some go as far if using diabolical means to make you forget your money, but if you try all means within your reach you can use police, or report the person to any one you know he gives ear when it comes to deal with issue.

Well we all know that there's no wise man on earth that will say he or she has never fall victim of borrowing money to someone, because some may come with so politely was and Christianity mind to ask you for help and may be he or she might be your best friend whom you have never expected that he or she will ever disappoint you,but unfortunately he or she disappointed you, well it's not really your fault, just that the world is full of evil and you never can tell who is who, because even your blood brothers or sisters can do the same to you too.

Now this is how I handle my case in this such because no one is above mistake or as long as you are in this world you are entitled to come across disappointment in one way or the other.and this is how I do it, whenever I borrowed someone money and he or she promised me to return the money back to me and later he or she failed me,
(1)it will pain me very well especially if the money is very big but I don't make case with anyone because of what of help I render to you, I will try to advise myself and bear the pain, but I will never have anything to do with that kind of person,no matter the strategies he or she may come again with you can never convince me again,
(2) I will lose trust on that very person, and I can never believe that kind of person again..
(3) I will never borrow you money again no matter what might happen, I can only give you what I can and never expected you for a return...if I have to give if I don't have I will still tell you i don't have..

It takes those that have the interest of others in need on their mind that can make provision for the service of being a lender, as we know, not all the borrowers can be liable for repayment, but the way we handles them has a lot to do with if we can be able to recover our money back from them or not, that is why many lenders make use of collateral before issuing out a loan, borrowers will not mind begging when they needed your help, but after they have benefited from such, it becomes so hard and very difficult for them to be ale to maintain or keep to promise.

About lending and borrowing I really want to tell you a bitter truth there is this saying that you shouldn't borrow any particular amount you know that you can't give out freely, the reason or meaning of that saying is for fact that at some point people don't keep to their promises. What am saying is that you don't have to borrow anyone money rather you should only give the one you can assist the person with without expecting it back.

Lending is not a business of doing good and it must be done in a stric way that would garantee that your money would be returned back to you or whatever you are borrowing, borrowing without taking collateral is like playing sports without safety kits, keep your personal feeling out of it and tell them you need a collateral or you give what you can afford to lose, so you don't end up spending money on the police to arrest the person or using strict means to get your money back.

I will let Them see my living and they will understand that I cannot just lend them here and there because my funds are limited and my family also needs money .
there is nothing wrong to deny them because it is your money and you have your own life.

Giving them fish will make them lazy all their life but teaching them to fish will feed them all their life.

The guarantor needs to know the reason and purpose of the lender for taking the loan so that the borrower is liable to them. At the same time it is ascertained whether the borrower can repay the loan taken or not. Before becoming a guarantor the terms of the loan agreement should be well known and understood. If the borrower fails to repay the loan the guarantor will be obliged to repay it consider whether you can afford to pay that amount.

Yes, if you want to stay from problem it is better not to lend family members and friends money because doing this is a big risk. If at all you want to lend family members and friends money just have it in mind that getting the money back is under probability,  you may not likely get back the money again. If you are not sure if the money can be gained back no need to lend the money out because demanding it back can cause serious conflict.

What's really interesting a lot of this being extracted behind AI models to determine risk when a guarantor is determining whether someone is too risky to cover. So a lot of the details can be removed to just the key points that make the AI decision.

Lenders must be sensitive and understanding, but they must also exercise vigilance to prevent reckless borrowing. I believe it are essential for lenders to have rules and processes in place for dealing with these circumstances, and to properly express them to borrowers. This way, everyone knows what to expect, therefore there are no disappointments. On the contrary, by working with borrowers to find a way out, lenders can assist them get back on schedule and avoid skipping; however, some borrowers will keep breaking the regulations and rules, thereby causing problems.

No matter the situation I am, I've always prevent borrowing from banks because this is where the issues used to come from.
It is very easy for us to borrow from friends and pay back without any issues or plenty of interest like the bank would always want to charge us. I don't like borrowing and that is why I've been making savings so that when I have problems I would be able to resolve it without going out to borrow since no one cares about us in the outside world.

You are right.  Lenders need to be very sensitive and do this with wisdom , they really need to know the real person they are lending to , and lenders need not borrow  people money thst will affect them and cause problem to dem . Because people who comes to borrow money they like using advantage of people especially when they know the person they collected money from is not a troublesome person  they would want not to return the money again.

Great idea! You appear to be taking similar approaches in different parts of your life when considering the possible advantages and dangers of making a choice. For example, while making a professional choices, it's possible that weigh the possible advantages of choosing another position, such as more income or more fulfilling work, against the possible risks, such as reduced secure employment or an extended trip. It's a matter of hitting the right point and choosing the best option for you. It's a very practical way of observing matters, and it's an extremely useful ability to have. And it's wonderful that you're prepared to help those who are closest to you without asking something in exchange.

Lending money to a family member is not very much ideal to me because it's very difficult to retrieve that money back from them, and most times if you insist on going all out just to get back your money, it will definitely spoil the relationship between you and that person, so it's best you don't borrow any of your family member at all, if they ask you to borrow any money to them, you can give them like half of it or  anything you have, but don't have it at the back of your mind in retrieving that money back, so that your relationship with them will be intact,  I say so because retrieving back borrowed money from relatives always end up in broken relationship, so it's best not to borrow in the first place.

Lets understand that lending can be of two different reasons which is either you are lending to help someone out to solve their issues and expects a repay without an interest of profits or you are lending and expecting returns with an interest of profits.
So in this case of lending without interest of profits returns, we can lend only what is obtainable to loose because it could be assumed that there is a little familiarities between you all, do conciousness of fighting with some familiar to you at the cause of inability to payback should be observed not to bridge your connections so, it is early better you lend what is affordable to loose.

But on the side of expecting an interest profit returns, it could be assumed that it is a source of income for you do, basically you do not only lend what is affordable to loose but also amount you find treasuring because it is assumed you are bearing the risk of chasing profits but to be on the secured side of it not to get your valuable lost if impossible to repay back, then you can always demand for a collateral to defend your treasure if not able to get back your returns.

And then borrowing to the family, you can always help them out with as much as your ability can bear without a significant of borrowing because it should be assumed that it is your responsibility to help your family members at things they lacks which you are in position to help.
But while helping family people, do not let to be override and be watchful before your kind giving hearts makes your life miserable of helping ungrateful people and where it could affect your finances from stagnations.

If you want to live long as a woman or man never you borrow money to your family members because, they will not show any sign of pay you back the money because they will think that you are their sister or brother and, you will not have the mind to use the police to arrest them than to leave the money for them.

You can use someone name to borrow them the money and they will take it serious to work hard to ensure the date he or she fix for the returning of the money will not pass without making the money available because, they will fear to return the money when you use other name to borrow them the money which is the strategy I use to borrow my childhood friend money.