Bitcoin Forum

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

Everyone have different beliefs, and conditions. To me I will prefer the marriage before pregnancy, because pregnancy before marriage is against my belief though it is the same in some other traditions. Should in case you are doubting the lady you want to marry, I will advise you both go for some medical diagnosis, where you can speak to a medical practitioner, and they will direct you on the best diagnosis to perform.

I will say marriage before pregnancy is still very possible, the pregnancy before marriage was common in the ancient area, but not anymore, though some people still insist, with the healthcare system that can be taken care of.

While the traditional view of marriage before pregnancy is prevalent, I believe that pregnancy can be a valid reason for marriage.
Ultimately, the decision to get married or have children should be based on individual circumstances and what works best for you.

The ideology of getting pregnant before proposing the person you want to marry for marriage, I don't think is a good one because of the unforeseen circumstances that you don't know what will happen thereafter after marriage has been ordained.

Has the person thought of miscarriage, having a deformed baby, or not living to see the baby after birth? Because it's God who gives a baby. We shouldn't tell him the conditions that apply before getting married. What if the person you end up with gets pregnant for you and delivers a baby? What if God refuses to give you another baby? Would you question God for that?

What I am trying to say is marry someone who loves and understands you, rather than putting conditions on it before marrying.

Sexual intercourse before formal marriage really IS marriage. But it is marriage without a formal contract of marriage... like prostitution.

Make it a legal marriage, before a judge or a minister/priest/rabbi of some sort. Or, make it a lawfully binding marriage by contracting together, with witnesses, in such a way that is not easy to break the contract. Why?...

FOR THE CHILDREN

I mean, how selfish are you, that for a bit of pleasure, you bring a child into life, and then:
1. Kill it off thru abortion, or;
2. Deny it the security of a home with both parents.

Life goes on. If the kid lives, it will survive. But place yourself into that position in your mind. Is that what you want to do to somebody else? How mean can you be?

Get married, and then fulfill your marriage promises.

8)

Having children before marriage also represents a potential instance of irresponsibility. Most childbearing occurs without the consent of one or both partners, and therefore the choice to marry often leads to unsuccessful outcomes. Childbearing should be a conscious decision, not a situation imposed by force, simply because it requires a degree of responsibility that both parties must commit to, rather than a unilateral decision.

You just do not understand what causes that object in that video to flip like that in the video and never will.
I do and I know it happens every 50,000 years and we about there :).

Tell me what is the inverse of the Planck length. How long do we have until we hit core? How long since the last pole shift.

lP​1​≈1.616×10−35m1​≈6.187×1034m−1

10^22 light years.

You now know how big the universe is now, how much longer if we cut that in half, because there is a north and south hemisphere before we collide at core?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGKFpG9LueY

Pregnancy after marriage is usually better because there’s more stability, support & less judgment from others. It just feels more planned & secure for the baby & the parents. But everyone’s different, it’s 2025 now, some people make it work before marriage too. What really matters is love, commitment & being ready.

Of course, nobody knows how big the universe really is. It could be that just outside the solar system the universe is a big lens, that makes it look a lot bigger than it really is. After all, the only thing that we have that we can rely on is the electromagnetic waves that reach us. We might even be interpreting the Voyager information incorrectly.

Edgar Elmer Smith even wrote a science fiction novel, "Children of the Lens," - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children_of_the_Lens_(novel).

The point is, the best we can do is settle down and get married and have children. Except for jvanname that is. Wouldn't really want genes like that in society.

8)

due to divorce being so common. the whole belief that marriage ensures the security of a "family unit" no longer applies.

so those that marry and then find that the women cannot conceive still allows the guy an escape clause(divorce)
also he does not have to impregnate a women first then marry her.. he can marry her then try to impregnate her, knowing if things dont work out they can amicably divorce if there is also no love

my belief is that marriage does not secure the family unit if there is no love, no equal respect, no tolerance of each other.
marrying someone whom you dont love can be more detrimental to a childs raising, due to the child being raised in a negative environment

marriage should be about love, finding someone you want to be with for life and they want it too.

..
as for those that only want to interpret things via bible rhetoric (BD).. well jesus's* real dad didnt marry mary first.. so kinda hypocritical to then demand marriage before pregnancy..
(personally i feel* joseph got her pregnant underage and outside of marriage but mary didnt want him arrested and stoned for rape.. so made up the story that some ghost entity, which no one can find got her pregnant, she then played on the story, made it go viral and played on it for fame)

*imagining the story had some bases on real people that existed a few millenia ago

I believe it is better to have children after one has already gotten married and the relationship is very solid and established, both in the economical, emotional and personal sense, so when the couple decides to bring a child to this world, that child will enjoy the best conditions for his upbringing and won't experiment rough times in his childhood, like having to abandon his studies for the sake of making money working in inhumane conditions, such cases are common in countries like India and Pakistan. The couple in question needs to have a considerable amount of money as savings before even thinking of having children so education, food and healthcare for that child is guaranteed from the moment of their birth.
Having children before marriage usually means there is no planning on the table and makes it more difficult for parents to properly take care of them, forcing them to rush to get the money, time and resources necessary for that children to enjoy a sweet childhood and not to get through trauma.

Infertility not only occurs in women but is also more common in men because men often have many bad habits such as alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine...these things have a significant impact on men's health. So don't blame or doubt the woman if both of you can't have children.
In addition, with the development of technology, medicine today has also made significant progress, any couple who doubts their fertility only needs to go for screening.


Sorry, but I feel like this topic is quite misogynistic and demeaning to women by assuming that only women have youthful exuberance and men don't. We are in the 21st century, not feudal times, women and men need to be treated equally.

This is like weirdest conspiracy level of seeing things. Have you ever heard the term shotgun wedding? Because the concept of marrying after getting pregnant isn't anything new. Marrying isn't about "messed up wombs", but doing the right thing. What you are saying sounds like some weird andrew tate comment blaming women for lack of fertility, when it's usually guys who don't even want to get married or have kids in the first place.

Lot of the younger men fear getting anyone pregnant, because they are supposed to provide and be responsible after that. But when that happens, marriage is just logical next step (for most people).

Traditionally and religiously it is not just adviceble but compulsory that a couple should get married first before engaging in sexual activities, it was a shameful thing for a woman to get pregnant before marriage. But due to modernization and consensual sexual activities the rate of abortions have increased, we always hear that women can damage their wombs in the process which can prevent them from conceiving. Some men are therefore not taking chances, they will want to impregnate their would be wife first before marrying her. But this strategy can be flawed because a man can impregnate a woman and marry her then she loses the pregnancy after marriage and never conceive again.

People should marry for love and value, children are additional blessings to a marriage but if children don't come a couple should still love each other and be happy. If someone dies now he or she doesn't know if they have children or not, let us try to live happily with or without children.

This was similarly what I was thinking will be the reason for some persons, however what do you even think about this? Actually the problem of most people is generalization without concrete facts, that someone sees or had a few ladies that has a womb issue doesn't necessarily mean that every other women has the same issues. Also using pregnancy to examine a lady before marriage might be the best idea for some persons but I don't see it that way because this could deprive someone there soulmate because there are women whom naturally it takes them years before conceiving and when the man decides to only try it for months and they were not able to they will become disappointed without knowing the lady is very healthy in her womb.

That's their life to live. But if it's for ourselves, we would be careful on who we choose to go along with and sleep with. This problem is mostly with the girls and young women out there. They kinda live a life to just enjoy their youth and there is nothing wrong with that. But to go on action protection less, that's their problem if they allow it. To us parents, we'll teach our kids to be more sensitive on this issue but at the same time have awareness on what they have to do. It's best to preserve themselves to their love when they're ready to tie the knot.

Many men prefer their spouse to be pregnant before marriage. Many men have reasons for doing so due to past experience (youthful stage), they don’t want to get committed or engage themselves into marriage wish would not produce children.
But this is unfair if men continue this way i must say, because marriage should be based on values, mutual respect and more especially based on love. Most men think that having a child with their spouse before marriage is good, what if at the end you finally have a child, got married and after few years the two party struggle to live together.
Although fertility is very important in many marriages, but it certainly needs to be discussed maturely with compassion by both parties.

My conclusion and what I stand for is checking the fertility of a woman before marriage is not good at all, it’s unjust and shows signs of trust issues and inadequate commitment years to come. Fertility doesn’t guarantee a safe and healthy marriage while it’s important.

Pregnancy before marriage had been a culture for some tribal groups but is no way a norm for modern society. Every couple should have opportunity to enjoy a child free married life. Being in a relationship is good but being in married relationship let's the couple know each other more closely.
A gap between your marriage and your child also allows you a buffer time to change your mind if you feel the relation is not working.

There is a way to check if the woman is fertile and can conceive a child without getting her pregnant. If people around your society wants to find solutions they should find it trough the right way. Getting the lady pregnant in other to prove that point isn't necessary. Is she a test subject or a lab experiment?

From research, there is common tests for fertility - hormone tests..which can be done if they visit the hospital

Very interesting observations, which I think is very far away from reality. Interesting from where you took these 90%? It more looks like random numbers than actual stats.
Yes, there is more babies who are born not in marriage than it was 20 or 30 years ago. But no way that's 90% and probably not even 50%.
If you ask me what I think. I think it's better when children is born in marriage, but if it's not, I don't see problem.

I don't know the beauty in it whereby people choose to have their partners pregnant before getting married, as from what I'd known, child outside marriage is not what many will count to be responsible of, that is why we found out today about many vulnerable children out there as motherless child roaming about the street, because of their parents giving birth to them out of matrimonial luck and both the child and mother often suffer the cost.

In my view, different people with different  view,s, reasons and understanding when it comes to marriage.

A man who say I must get a woman pregnant before marrying her as a proof that has not messed up her womb.
He the man, is he a saint? This indicates that he would keep engaging in sexual relationship with every woman that comes his way for as long they are not confirmed pregnant.

Several times we are  blinded  with infatuation with the notion that we are in love

This is just an illusion of of reality.

I have seen a women who married as a virgin but took up to 7 years to get pregnant in the same marriage  and had two sets of twins. (two bogs and two girls just in two conception)

Marriage before getting pregnant

I copied your entire quote into ChatGPT, and one part of the response shocked me:


I was shocked to see My Stand (the AI has an opinion?!?) until I realized that's exactly what you asked for.  :P  It also added that 90% is an unrealistic number.  

Is this true? I live in a country who have a strong tradition/culture, so pregnancy before marriage is almost forbidden, some people even claim their kids are born after marriage in order to not get judged by people.

If they want to make sure the women are fertile, they should seek a doctor, it's enough.

And even the women not able to give a birth after many years, men are allowed to have more spouse as long as they can afford it.

I'd say after because marriage shows at least some dedication from both sides. That said, it doesn't matter much as I've seen couples that stayed together without marriage for a long time, and ones that divorced a year after getting married.

Personally, I'd rather have children after, but it doesn't make much of a difference. The important part is matching together well. Having similar goals and all that.

Those with that mentality of pregnancy before marriage can never be satisfied with a doctor fertility test result they believe on what they are seeing physically and not scientifically proven, this observation of mine is in an increasingly rate in my environment and most parents are also aiding their male child in this act but however, if it is a mutual agreement between both parties involved it is not a big deal in my conclusion, but in an environment where such is mostly seem as an abomination there is going to be a high rate of abortion from those that are not married which can as well be disadvantageous.

Re: Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?

I dont have a preference, I would like to believe that if a pregnancy is planned it
will  e the right time for that particular couple. Marriage is just a tool to provide
financial stability for a family, it offers benefits in the eyes of a state.


I have never heard of such a thing? it sounds ridiculous really, actually sounds
lime the view marriage as a step to having a child, they couldnt marry for love or
financial stability.

The world is gradually changing i believe in the ancient days such cultures and traditions are very strong and taken serious where it is seen as an abomination for a girl child to get pregnant before marriage expecially in Africa but now it's no longer seen as an abomination to get pregnant before marriage as most men actually wants to see there girlfriend gets pregnant before they will officially get married i also buy such idea as long as both will still get married.

If it's with regard the reason you've just given, then it's not even reasonable to consider getting someone pregnant first just because you feel she's scattered her womb. If for any reason I suspect that you've scattered your womb, then there's no two ways about it, I'm never getting married to you or trying to get you pregnant.

Our society has gone really morally down that we have started building a very backward mentality that adds little or nothing to what getting married is about. Having a child outside marriage of considered fornication and regardless the reason we bring out, it does not justify that act. No one wants to get married to a lady that has messed up with her womb but at the same time, a lady that looks as one that's capable of aborting numerous times doesn't have what it takes to be my life partner..

I don't know what's it called, if someone want to get married, they create prenuptial agreement in order to avoid something bad happen after marriage. But, in this situation, it's an agreement before the men to making love with the women.

So it means men are prefer to see their girlfriend gets pregnant rather than marrying a virgin? in my country, most men only want to get married with virgin women.

I just imagining what if they've in relationship for 2 years and his girlfriend can't give a birth, then he choose to breakup, does the value of that woman is still high? or she will be known as infertile and not virgin woman?

My girlfriend got pregnant and we lived together for years, had all our children together before I married her. I don't blame anyone who thinks they have to be sure their partner have to conceived before they get married. Whereas the essence of marriage is to bear children. Luckily for me my culture and tradition permits a Man to get married to a woman if they have already had children. So I don't see anything morally bad in getting a woman pregnant before getting married to her. Believe me there are lots pressure/ challenges in marriage and you don't want childlessness to add to that list. As a man do what will give you peace of mind.

Are you using what is happening in your country to come into conclusion that this is happening everywhere all over the world. I don't think that responsible people still have that primitive mindset these days. If you born out of wed luck is fornication and you should also know that it's not everyone that is getting married because of kids. God gives kids and not you. What if the problem is from the man, it means that he wouldn't get married all the rest of his life. Marry your wife before getting her pregnant is the best and ideal way.

I agree with you, and there’s also a compatibility issue among couples that they often only discover after getting married and living together. Some marriages ended in divorce because one of the couple cannot provide enough sperm to conceive a child, especially if one of them wants to raise a family.

I may come from a conservative family. But there’s no divorce in our country, so it’s hard to be tied to one person who cannot give you the family that you want. You will end up adopting a child or bearing a child outside of marriage, but if you love your partner, then he or she is enough.

How about your wife cheats you or not able to be a mother?

I think it's more dangerous too living with irresponsible wife and child rather than living with responsible wife without child. We can't know the true character of our spouse, usually they will show it after marriage (formal relationship), not just a casual relationship.

If someone want to get married with a main purpose to raise their child, they actually can raise their own child without need to be in relationship https://www.arcfertility.com/patient-resources/family-building/single-men/

Marriage is sacred, for me, so there should be marriage before pregnancy, and if the other partner cannot bear a child, then there are scientific means for one partner to have his/her child through artificial insemination.
We are living in a modern world where almost everything has a solution, and bearing a child first before marriage is not the answer.
A married couple should not be separated because one is not capable of bearing a child, we have a child because of incompatibility, not because one cannot bear a child.

How would you if a woman has done multiple abortions and has damaged her womb unknowingly to you , then after conducting her marital rites , weeks gone by , months gone by and years gone bye without a child , then you suggest surrogacy , adoption or Ivf which requires a lot of money , IVF has a lot of procedures and money is involved and what if you are not financially buoyant, surrogacy now involves a lot of mental stress and time with money ,imagine another woman carrying your child with the scientific method, then after birth you take the child away from her , of which some countries the surrogate mother  has access to the child because she carried  it in her womb for 9months gave birth and if the natural birth didn’t work out , cs will be involved to save the mother and the baby , including the bounding them after which , you won’t set your eyes on the 9months suffering.

Gone at those days when marriage is done before pregnancy but the society we are in this part of the world , pregnancy before marriage is very very important, unless you are ready to go through those stress , once your girlfriend is pregnant marriage rite take place immediately to avoid long story in the future , a lot is happening day by day , a lot has also changed , so pregnancy before marriage is the best , even our parents will also advice us about it, and it goes to both parties , some men are impotent but will shift the blame on the woman , let’s know how fertile we are before marriage, that is the society we found ourselves in .

Well it is true I have also observed same but it is morally and spiritually wrong and I don't think if there is any religion that support such idea infact all religious forbid premarital sex.The best way is to run or carry out a test that will prove that your patterns is medical okay or fertile since it is not a good idea to pregnant a girl before marriage just because of being sure that they are fertile when there are hospitals that can do this without bringing shame or dishonour to anyone as the case maybe with pregnancy out of wedlock

There will not be high rate of abortion in such environment because people work and react according to law culture so if something like this is forbidden all the ladies on that place will also discipline themselves that they can only be close to a man when they have gotten married to them, although there might be some persons who will disregard the law but I think it will be rare because I have seen a tribe in my country that does this but with a consequence outcome of both the lady and the boy who will violate the rules that has been included on the tradition, so it makes them to be scared of thinking otherwise.

very true, both need to be treated equally. Men need to understand that woman are not always the fault. Most times, the men are the problem.

It is true that infertility do not only occur in women it also occurs in men too but the high level of casual sex relationship in this generation
Is alarming, You will agree with me that the women I mean the girls are the ones in the receiving end of the story in the situation of getting pregnant and probably refuse to keep the pregnancy by indulging in taken substances that might have a negative effect on them not being able to concieve tomorrow because they don't want to give birth to a child without being properly married, to protect family prestige pride and dignity or religion, this actually act is of the increasing side in most of our societies today which of course is one of the major reason why I brought up this topic of discussion, a lot are really happening behind the scene.

It's their own mistake, why they choose horny rich men over well mannered Average Joe? :D

If they choose well mannered Average Joe, they won't end up getting pregnant before marriage because Average Joe respect with their spouses. Nowadays they only want money and skip everything because for them money is everything.

Personally I don't see men are wrong in this case, they give something to their women, it's not the women who give the men. Men pays to get the women's body, that's a fair deal, if the women are getting pregnant, that's the risk from this side job.

Giving birth before getting married is what the poor people do, because they started the relationship without having the resources to get married. Most young men and women gets married immediately after they have graduated from the university because that's how someone planning to have a responsible family should do. However, the urge of sex can thwart one's efforts from getting married before getting pregnant. I don't think that it's because the man wants to know if his partner can give birth or not that's why he prefers to get her pregnant first before marriage.

In my tradition, it's a taboo for a lady who hasn't married yet to be pregnant and it's against our culture. When such happens, if they families are rich, the parents put their heads to get and plan for their marriage.

In my culture, if you impregnate a girl without marriage, you will pay double the bride price. What that means is that the bride price of a pregnant woman is higher. Religiously, sex before marriage is a sin called fornication.

If you truly love someone, there is no need to check if she is fertile or not. You can adopt a child if she is having fertility problems. And modern technology has made it more easier for people to have children through diverse means.

Not all young girls today are so naive or stupid that they don't know how to protect themselves. They are just like us men, some are stupid and some are smart.

I agree that sex is much more open these days but that doesn't mean girls don't know how to protect themselves. In a developed world, knowledge about sex and life is introduced into education quite early and is not too difficult to access thanks to the development of the Internet. There are many methods of safe sex and I believe that even teenagers today know, let alone young people over 18 years old.

I don't know what's going on in your country, but from what I see around me, the majority of people who are unable to have children are men. The reason is said to be because they drink alcohol, smoke or even abuse drugs...All are leading causes of sexual diseases in men, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation...or worse, infertility while the infertility rate in women is significantly lower.

A man will always feel this way only when he sees some kind of woman with a lifestyle that matches the type of woman he wants to settle down with. If very responsible women are the kind he prefers to be with, I don't think this thought will be there. Looking at some women with the kind of lifestyle they live, it is possible for one to think this about them. As for me, I know the kind of woman I want, and I don't think I need to impregnate a woman first before we get married. Baddies are the kind of women some men prefer to settle down with in marriage, so I won't blame men who think they need to impregnate their partners first before marriage, maybe because of the lifestyle their partners might have lived in the past.

Everyone has there own believe when it comes to what you are talking about OP, for me I will like to get married first then before pregnancy, the world is now a place where sex is seen as a normal thing aside marriage which is of the things causing problems in marriages, when two people are dating they enjoy all the things meant for marriage life and getting married now becomes a problem and before you know it the relationship ends.
For me I think marriage is interesting and sex should be done only in marriage.
A lot of single mothers you see today is as a result of this, a man will tell them that before they will get married to them they need to first of all get pregnant and as soon as they are pregnant they will get married and when they end up getting married the men refuse to marry them, so please all the women be guided a man that truly loves you won't ask you to get pregnant before he marry you, any man that tells you that just want you to give birth to his children.
Get married first enjoy your marriage and then give birth and train your children together.

Was it not before of the affordability of paying the bride price a d other ceremonial obligations that makes some men ran away from going through the normal procedures for getting married and take a shortcut by impregnating the partner, so that things would have been more better for them to pay or completely avoided than the demands their culture can render, but that's  not an excuse anyway from going through the normal procedures and rights.

I always thought that pregnancy after marriage was the obvious way to go, but now that I am a man with some assets and things to lose I am not so sure. As a man, I just don’t see much of a benefit from marriage. It’s like signing a contract where you are only able to come out the loser. I think unless legal changes are made with regards to men and women and how they’re treated by courts, marriage will continue to be a losing proposition for men when it comes to children.

Interestingly enough, here in my country things regarding marriage and divorce are quite laxed in comparison to what I have seen going on in countries like the United States and those within the European Union.
Here the assets of the parties are mostly keep untouched after a divorce and for some reason the government do not enforce men to pay to women for the children they had while being a United family.
My theory is that our government is so inefficient and our society so conservative and catholic/evangelic, that we do not buy the whole feminism rethoric and the ideas of women being in social disadvantage when compared to men. This is pretty much a society which favors men, and I have seen it personally, there are engineering companies which do not hire women at all, because the simple fact they are women and because the boss of those companies believe they could give trouble in the working place, so it is well known female engineers here more likely to remain unemployed, unlike make engineers.

Traditionally engineers have been men in the country.

I disagree with you that men that want their wife to be pregnant before marriage are 90% in the society. We all know there are some medical fitness some people use to carry out to know if the man or woman is alright to give birth before embarking on marriage, and is helping many marriages today not to break up easily after marriage.

I stand for marriage before pregnancy, because I'm a Christian and the holy bible say bed undefined meaning man and woman will not have sex during the courtship or get pregnant before marriage.

Let us keep Christianity aside first. Forcing a child on a woman whom you have not marry her is not an ideal way to start a family. Medically, there are recommend test for people with interest to get marred to check their fertility status before they move on to the next stage of getting married. Sometimes, the fault comes from the man not even the woman, so if she did not get pregnant he might think she is not fertile when he is the one who is impotent. Medical test proves and solve this all.

Yes, everyone has their own traditions and beliefs. Although their are some of the traditional gifts that both parents must get know them before they agree to marriage, I don't believe that's still the case today.  Although some people still engage in the behavior, it has decreased: As you mentioned earlier, new medical technology has made it easier by directing us to medical diagnostics to take the test that will show us each person's position and whereabouts. This is because some traditions bring up the idea only to see if she are capable of conception from the person she wants to marry.

This is not a good idea at all and I really don’t like people having such mindset before finally settling down for marriage. It may not look like a bad idea but the repercussions are not what one should want to encounter is things don’t go as planned. It is better you do your own research about the woman you wish to marry to know what kind of life she has lived in the past that may not have affected her genitals for pregnancy. Marriage is not something to rush into, so you have the whole time to do this research and come to a conclusion whether you can spend the rest of your life with such person or not.

I prefer not to get pregnant before marriage. If you give birth before marriage, there is a greater chance of problems later. If you get pregnant after marriage, there is no problem.

The obvious is that men benefit nothing from marriage, as we grow and learn from what is happening around the world. One must be careful and think well before you marriage, have it at the back of your mind that you are into trouble. And if you can carry the trouble then embrace it. Women now marry for business and to escape poverty nothing else.  Children are not blessing let no motivational speaker deceive you on it, if children  was a blessing poor men in our society with many children won't be poor. Rather children brings more responsibility. If you can handle the responsibilities go ahead and marry.

Have advised my lawyer, to give 50% of my possessions to my brothers 50% to my wife and children, you must have a concrete document with your lawyer before marriage, forget pregnancy before and after marriage. You can  never trust ladies in our generation, and if you want to marry you must be smarter than them.

Technology has advanced significantly but that doesn't mean it can solve everything, especially rare diseases and infertility. Infertility treatment is difficult, time consuming and extremely expensive, not every couple can afford to pay those huge bills.

In my opinion, with the increasing rate of infertility and birth defects, it is necessary to check the fertility of the partner before marriage. But this must be done voluntarily by both parties, not under coercion or command. Because like you said, that's not love.


In addition, couples should encourage each other to get medical check-ups as soon as possible because some diseases can be cured if detected early.

It's good to always follow the due procedures before making a decision on giving birth, also, we should not engage on s3x outside marriage because it will lead to unwanted pregnancy and that is why some men after discovering this, decided to avoid the woman with her pregnancy because they are not prepared for it, we shouldn't start what we can't finished.

There is really no pregnancy before marriage. Pregnancy, itself, is the proof of a marriage having happened, even though it may be the only proof.

8)

It is good to follow the due procedure before getting pregnant.
By right pregnancy should not coming before marriage, 1st courtship  the time two partner  has a romantic relationship before they get married.
2nd  marriage:is the state of being married.
It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage , but why some young men like their dat to get pregnant before marriage is because of what is happening in this 21st century some many young girls has no womb that is why some young men like their girl to have pregnant before marriage

Divorce is what happens when the couple split up... if there isn't any contract or marriage license.

8)

What do you mean by saying that It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage? I can't really get your point but i will try to resume key ideas: It is important for any man and woman to be in a relationship for a sufficient period of time before deciding to get married. I emphasize that this should be before the decision to get married, not the decision to have a child. In Eastern societies, we call this the engagement period, which precedes the step of marriage. The engaged couple spends this period getting to know each other better and experiencing some shared experiences so that they can become accustomed to each other's personalities and determine whether they can continue. Then, after making the decision to get married, they take the time to make the decision to have and raise a child. This is a logical and sound approach, but what happens in many societies is that the decision to get married is inevitable due to having a child during the dating period, without either party wanting to. This often leads to deliberate neglect of the family and children, especially if they continue to have more.

James Dobson P.Hd., formerly of Focus on the Family, says that a couple should spend a full year getting to know each other, before getting married, and without having sexual intercourse in all that time. I agree with him, except in cases where the couple are both 60-y-o or older.

Sexual intercourse IS getting married. Why. Because it is the special action that starts a new person, the baby, which is a marriage of  the man with the woman, genetically. Even if we are certain that a baby will not be started, it's the act that is a potential for the start of a new life.

Intercourse without a formal, written and agreed to marriage ahead of time, is a way that can be an easy divorce. The whole marriage thing is to make a safe and secure life for the new person, the baby, that could potentially come about. The second thing - especially for older people getting married - is that it is an example for the younger people.

Formally get married before the sexual intercourse marriage, so that there is security in the nation.

A third benefit is that an intimate couple share all kinds of 'chemicals' between them... chemicals that they each have to get used to. This includes all kinds of parasites that are unique to the two of them. In addition, they both get samples of each others' DNA in their brains. Recognition of this DNA makes for a kind of natural compatibility and security-of-togetherness, subconsciously, for the both of them.

Much of the 'trouble' between couples who have been previously married to someone else, lies in the fact of the brain not recognizing the new DNA of the new partner. The brain compares the DNA of the former partner with the DNA of the new partner, and the 'match' isn't there. This causes deep-down instability... and especially with partners who have had sex with many other people. So, be prepared for some troubles with a new partner.


8)

This topic seem paradoxical statement because both are inevitable in reality of marriage either ways goes right depends on the people culture and what the people going into the marriage want and agreed because marriage is induce with agreement, take the goat and tie the rope and trope and tie the goat means the same but perceived differently according to the interpreter in my opinion it's a thing of choice if truely there's a room of such in the culture.

I know exactly the eastern societies, but engagement period is actually a step where both of them are sure they will get married, it's no longer a selection step. From what you wrote, engagement period is like selection step where both of them are still not convinced yet.

There's another way of "knowing each other" in Islam, where both of them not engaged, but they're approaching each other with their family. Usually both only know each other for 1 month - 3 months which is crazy I think, you won't know the real character if it's that short.

Although having a relationship is haram, but it's better because if you both already know for many years, high likely you both already reveal your real character.

The close proximity between families in the establishment of marriage is a negative factor in Eastern societies. This closeness prevents partners from fully understanding each other's personalities, including their suitability for the responsibilities of shared life, most importantly childbearing and childcare. Evidence of this is the disproportionate number of divorce cases in courts, particularly those involving child neglect and irresponsibility.

I'm not saying this only exists in Eastern societies, but rather all societies with cultures that condemn relationships between the two sexes outside of marriage. In such cases, the powers granted to families exceed what partners can exercise within a partnership. Partnership before marriage is a partnership between families, not between the two parties who will bear responsibility later on.

In the western world, no body thinks of this ideology. This often or mostly happens in Africa where people think that childbearing is more important than their relationship. But in an actual sense what matters most is love. you don't need to impregnate your spouse to be sure if she is potent, what matters in a relationship is love, respect and understanding. So if Both are good then children should come as a gift. But if for any reason children are not coming, there is room for adoption. So we don't Mary for children, we Mary for love. Children should come as a gift from God. If you are so much concerned about children without considering the other characters you may be misleaded to make a wrong choice or decision because of confirming if your spouse is fertile. Then what if you impregnate her and confirm she is fertile while you are not yet ready for that marriage, are you going to force her into abortion? Or will you go ahead to Mary her after she is pregnant knowing true well that she has bad character?

We are in a society where women are dragged mostly when it comes to infertility, but we also fail to realize that men suffer from this medical illness as well.

Most childlessness doesn't really comes as a result of careless life been lived in the past, some could be that God is testing their marriage sha! But getting pregnant before marriage just to prove a point that you're fertile is a Big NO for me.. I'm totally against it, if the guy wants to know during the period of courtship or dating they can visit the hospital for all that check-ups.

Most men prefer pregnancy before marriage because of the ability to check if their woman they are getting married to will be able to be pregnant, why in a normal way many society adept the marriage before pregnancy because if eventually get pregnant out of wedlock it is abomination to so many tradition in the society and in some tradition in the society today, for you to have the access to the woman are about to marry, you must perform all the traditional right before you can get her pregnant, so in my own believe, i prefer marriage before pregnancy because it is the right thing to do.

Let me take this up from the insight of my culture as an African. We prioritizes marriage as a union to live together and forever affirmatively to bear children and whereas the wife is been unable to conceive, they both begin to worry about which of the partners fault it is which would lead to medical test running to resolve whatever that maybe the problem and if by means all sorts of tests and research has been made and to no avail, the man may have no option than to pick another wife because bearing a biological parent is very necessary in the African culture unlike some cultures that are not bothered about biological children Instead they prefers to adopt.

And nowadays that youths has not been careful about their health especially the abuse of sexuality, both males and females has become fond of drugs intake to support their performance which substance may have reproductive side effects between between both the male and the females organs.
And one of the effective cause of the females being unable to conceive in marriage is the repercussions of abortions during their youthful life when they were single.

So as for me, I will feel the real man having my own biological children and not adoption and so, I would not want to pick a second wife either due to her inability to conceive and with the trends of nowadays that youths has become neglected health wise and only look out to fun, I suggest pregnancy before marriage but if partners has checkmate on themselves and are sure of no negative effects to breach reproduction, it is okay to go marriage before pregnancy because by then, all reproductive fitness is assured in orderliness.

Pregnancy before or after marriage a very delicate topic; in recent times the world has become a little less decent,where immorality is seen as a norm and considered the modern order of the day ,in the olden days sex before marriage is considered immoral talk of even being pregnant before marriage is considered over the bar per say, but in the modern society now where the rate of immorality is very high ,u see kids having multiple abortions, having sex like it is a daily necessity, you begin to ponder , you meet a lot of ladies who have lost the ability to give birth, because of their past lives, so the question beckons, pregnancy before marriage would be the best option, so you know what you are going into, a lot of atrocities are being committed by these young generation ,so its better to test the car before taking it home, so u would not come back to complain.

Impregnating a girl because you want to be sure if she will give birth doesn't look right to me. What if she loses the pregnancy and can't conceive after marriage?

But in some societies, marriage is so expensive that many people can't afford it. In this case, it might be reasonable for a man to impregnate a woman if both of them agree. My advice might be seen as immoral. But what do you expect a low-income earner to do when he cannot afford the high price that is placed on marriage ceremonies?

I do not support the ideal of using pregnancy to know if a woman can give birth instead of getting her pregnant why not go for fertility test and other series of test to confirm for your self if you do not believe in sex after marriage.

Also if you find yourself in a society where the cost of bride price is so expensive the best thing you could do should be going for a lady that you two can come together and agree on what to do to get married to each other even though it means working together to raise the money before getting married.

If I'm not mistaken, this often happens in the African countries and I feel it's a very low way of thinking. I've heard of stories like this and I've also heard of ones that the girl gets pregnant but the man ends up not marrying her, claiming that she may not be his spec.
I feel if you love someone, you don't need to put them under so much conditions. This mentality needs to change amongst some men because it has made some women who in order not to lose their man go into such an agreement.
 I prefer that a woman gets pregnant after marriage rather than before.

To be sincere I really don't have any preference,  but according to the Bible it's better you get married before sleeping with your wife, not to even talk of pregnancy.  Bible aside I really don't blame people that need to confirm before getting married,  based on what is going on in the society right now. Like I said earlier it's all about choice,  so you you can decide what you want .

I won't argue this much because there are cultures that permits for pregnancy before marriage, while we have a larger percentage on those that only advise after marriage, but ideally, we should have this done in marriage after doing the normal traditions as required by each custom, this goes along with the blessing to abounds in the marriage and make it more fruitful for them both to enjoy ad they planned to live together forever.

I think both are good depending on what the couple wants. Some men are not sure of themselves likewise some women. I have had a course of a lady telling me if she don't know if the problem is from her boy friend , though she is a single lady, she said ever since he met the guy that both of them have been having an affairs but nothing is showing up, so she even begged me if I can have an affair with her so she can be sure of her self. To cut the story short I think pregnancy before marriage should be best for couple that are ready for marriage oh. Marriage is is not dating, a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

Am surprised to know that some culture don't even count pregnancy before marriage as taboo, as a fact, its inclusive in their traditions that a woman must have a pregnant in other to know if she is going to be fruitful or not in the marriage, but in some other customs and tradition, this has called a lot of irresponsible pregnancies and the desertion of the women together with the child, this is getting too much and rampart around the world.

That's it for the Christians as it is written in the holy book of Hebrews 13:4 and I quote " marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled". The Bible talks about getting married before making out with your partner so it is against the belief of the Christians to get a woman pregnant before marriage. People who go about doing what they choose is best for them do that to prevent not having children after marriage because they do not trust their partners because of the life they lived in the past and that's bad.

Both male and female youths of nowadays gets involved with sexual abuses before marriage which maybe be considered immoral.
So both the man and woman could be victim of infertility at the cause of their youthful practices. So since this fertility threat isn't limited to women alone but also to the men, what if all the while the man has been unable to prove his fertility after the trial to impregnate his partner before official marriage, or maybe both partners has undergone series of medical checkup but he's the one detected faulty, what'd be his stance? I hope he's going to think twice of the mentality and leave the rest to God over their inability to bear children?
I think this is also what need to be considered because it's God that does all possible and not what a man can do.

I see no difference, provided the man would take his bride to the alter after getting her pregnant then no problem. A good percent of married people got their spouse pregnant before Marriage. I've known of couples that wedded after a year of living together. Intercourse is a thing of consent, aside that it's an abuse. So, if both sides consent on having a baby before going for parental blessings, then that's what should make the union work. One person's disagreement to that can ruin the relationship.

A align with Accardo the more. I see no difference if the couples are truthful to themselves. If procreation is the only reason for marriage, then getting a woman pregnant before marriage is the right thing to do. But if marriage is first seen as a beautiful thing before children starts coming, this might not be a big problem to the couple. I understand that in my country, any marriage without a child always faced alot of pressure from relatives and friends.

---

Op, it depends on what the couples want. Do they actually want to be having children from the first year of their marriage, it's okay the lady gets pregnant first. But if they want children coming maybe after 2 or more years of marriage, there's no need getting the lady pregnant first. You see that it is purely subjective.

Your point can only be valid in a society that has a culture of allowing pregnancy before marriage (if any exist). But In societies like ours where marriage before pregnancy proves the worth of a lady, shows the dignity of the lady, you can't possibly say that it depends on what the couples want because the reputation of the family will also be at stake to say that there daughter didn't preserve herself and remain chaste till marriage.

Marriage is built on love. You can't possibly marry someone you don't love, that is if you want peace of mind in the nearest future. If this is accepted, then what is love when it becomes conditional? What is the strength of your love when you place a condition on the woman that if she doesn't get pregnant, then no marriage? Love with condition is NO love. Yea! It is marriage before pregnancy. Thats our culture, I mean where I come from, and large areas. And that's where I stand.

If you fear that her womb must have been tampered with out of youthful exuberance, then you go get tested in the nearest hospital. There are other decent girls. Ask questions too. You can't possibly go for a jerk of a girl and expect everything to be intact as from creation. Hell NO! I repeat, if you want a whole and pure girl, go for decency. You as a guy, are even decent self??

Naturally too, some decent girls can also have pregnancy issues. It's nobodies fault, it's natural, we have to consider and accept it too. But you must go for the decent one. Marriage before pregnancy I submit

It's just silly of the married people who fidget over such pressure, as if the relatives or friends would pay any bill pertaining to the child when birthed afterwards. Most friends like this, are losers who know nothing about bearing and raising kids. Cruel mentalities as that only get couples to go extramiles for kids, even when they're unprepared to finance the child's upbringing in this hard economy.

Consider in a house where they are two male children, the same set of people still come to convince the husband of the wife to also look for a female child. Listening to them will only result to giving birth to more than 5 children in search of a specific gender. When the bill sets in all the disturbing relatives will flee to no destination.

In which society do you see this trend of having pregnancy before marriage is getting popular? I think there are many complications to this, and I would prefer the old traditional way of having children after marriage and not before.

One of the most concerning things is what if the men after making the girl pregnant, refuses to marry her? And believe me, when the man gets the girl without getting into the legal obligations, he can always refuses to marry her and look for another relationship. Maybe the women are more loyal but men would always run away from the responsibility and look for new girls.  :o

This doesn’t happen all over the world. In some places, it is simply a culture and even here in my country some people still practice that. The families that practice Islam mostly refrain from this and don’t take part in such act as it is deemed sinful by Allah. And as a devoted Muslim, you’re not allowed to take part in such.

Talking about the community seeing it in another way about ladies destroying their wombs before marriage, it is actually not a good way to judge them because some of this men also took part in making that happen. Stigmatisation is not good and I believe marriage is all about trust. If you can trust the one you want to get married to, then you can leave the relationship and not end up in marriage. I’m not in support of getting pregnant before getting married to a man.

Of course there are ways to check the fertility of any female @Agbamoni but what happens if after being medically cleared to get pregnant and the lady in question doesn't get pregnant? I wouldn't blame anyone that wants evidence of how fertile a girl is by getting her pregnant before marriage, because even after running all the tests in the world there may be a spiritual thing that could prevent pregnancy from coming and many of us don't have that patience to wait around so they opt to getting their woman pregnant first before marriage. A desperate girl can go to any length to trick you into marriage and bribing their way to fake medical results isn't exceptional.

That's why premarital agreement is important, you add a clause "if the woman failed to get pregnant after 3 years of marriage, the man is allowed to breakup without share any of his asset, alimony etc". What if she avoid to accept this clause? simply she's not for you and you have a choice to find other woman.

I wonder why people are complaining with someone else words, if they feel they can't take it anymore, better to talk straight away or counter their argument. Like their friends ask to get more baby, they can counter "I can, but you must bear and raise my kids, can you?".

This practice is of serious ethical concerns.  Pregnancy before marriage treats relationships as a business and reduces women's bodies as commodities (even as it seems to be a commodity as in paid sex hankering of which nowadays men are not excluded).
While infertility fears are real, expecting or subjecting someone into pregnancy to an extent disregards bodily autonomy and undermine that fertility problems affect both males and females.  Marriage relationships should be based on mutual commitment and trust, not preconditions that appears as reproductive enforcement .
Health concerns deserve open, respectful understanding and medical consultation, not conditions that ignores dignity.

Not to forget, pregnancy before marriage sometimes if not most times are not usually planned. To an extent, a learned woman (as per menstrual flow and body signs) is the one to decide if she is pregnant or not since she can just do away with it and here's where trust comes in, opening up.

In some regions and countries, casual sex and premarital pregnancy may be commonplace, as each region has different norms and customs. However, this shouldn't be considered normal. Having casual sex raises the question: aren't we better and more noble than animals? Even crocodiles live for only one partner!

And I think marriage isn't just about having children. Indeed, every couple desires children, because they are the fruit of their marriage. But it's important to understand that having children is a matter of destiny, and marriage isn't just about having children, but rather about how we can build a life together with the person we love.

People should not let cultural reasons take over the main moral value and their self-respect. Even in what reason, pretext or excuse, casual sex is not proper behavior; it is a form of deviance.

To a woman, keeping her honor is the greatest way of having self-respect. It means that she does not allow casual sex to degrade her dignity. Casual sex and premarital pregnancy are not acts of freedom but rather acts of ignorance, even stupidity, which will make one regret for the rest of her life.

Also, to men, being a real man does not mean how many women you can play with. Real men should be able to protect and respect women, not help in the degradation of their future by adding more problems to think about after satisfying lust.
Marriage is sacred, not just by means of having children but in building a life together with love, responsibility, and blessings. Children are indeed a gift, but honor is dignity that has to be maintained long before all that happens.

Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?


Ask the starving people of Gaza. Does it even matter?



8)

In a country as mine who believes in spirituality is possible that a woman could be medically fit and because of some fetish things that was done against her could prevent her from conceiving, although countries who doesn't experience this kind of things could be doubting it but this is actually happening, I have seen a lady who has gotten married for years without a fruit of womb and when they go to hospital for check up doctors usually tell them they are in a good condition to take in but what is beyond the physical seen is behind it so actually not all the inability to conceived can be medical issues, I'm only saying this base how things work in my place.

Marriage isn't just about having children. If you want to have children without being married, you can even make that happen, either through in vitro fertilization (IVF) or by adopting a child from an orphanage.

I strongly disagree with premarital pregnancy; it's not common practice, and pregnancy outside of marriage is a disgrace. And if you want to have children with the woman you marry, you should visit a gynecologist before marriage. This is an important step to ensure your partner is healthy and to check for infertility. It's better than having sex outside of marriage.

And on the other hand, it should be a warning that nowadays there are quite a lot of cases of premarital pregnancies, but the man is not responsible for what he did to his lover. I've seen incidents where innocent babies were thrown into rivers, brutally murdered.

It doesn't really matter mate.
It's only people who have drank water and drop cup peacefully that thinks the direction of Op.
So many people are suffering insecurity, famine and political slavery.
Topics as the Op doesn't even concern them.

It's really unfortunate that the ethics of marriage have been destroyed by this generation. A lot of immorality is going on and social media have even led to more immorality because of the kind of contents that people do come across. Biblically, a woman is supposed to get married before getting pregnant for her spouse, I don't believe that a woman getting pregnant before marriage should be a test for her fertility. Some girls even choose to be pregnant just to persuade a man to marry them which is a very bad attitude because if a woman gets pregnant for a man who is not physically and emotionally strong to become a father, it may become a problem.

For me I don't prefer any of them, any one that comes am cool with it, wether pregnancy before marriage or marriage before pregnancy. But with the way things are going now in my country the rate of abortion this time around is high, so if you are not careful enough you might end up marrying a woman who have damaged her womb all in the same of abortion. So be very careful when chosen a wife for a lot of women out there are barring, that's  why most men prefer pregnancy before marriage for them to be sure that the woman they want to marry can bear a them children. But Sincerely speaking this our generation is turning into something else they see abortion as a normal thing which is very bad, although in some cases abortion is the best solution, but aborting a baby shouldn't turn to your habit.

I like pregnancy before marriage in the sense that you have already known that you wife to be is fruitful. Pregnancy before marriage also is also good because as a man you know that your manhood is also active. Pregnancy before marriage also shows that you are in a safe relationship that will produce children. Though marriage before pregnancy is also good but the danger of unfruitfulness will take its toll on you if your wife delays in getting pregnant.

A friend of mine also has the same mindset and it didn't go well with him. He ensured that his fiancée was pregnant before they got married. Unfortunately, she lost the baby and has not gotten pregnant for close to seven years now. It is not a bad thing to test your bride if she can get pregnant but it is more important to love her beyond that. Childbearing shouldn't be the major criterion for choosing a partner. There are many families with many children, yet there is no peace, love and joy.     

Thank you so much for this beautiful question.well ,just like you also said that it's all about what one beliefs,to me i prefer pregnancy before marriage because a lot are happening in this our present time and one needs to be sure of what you are about to go in with,to avoid had i known, because our women of today are not like before, were trusted before...
Alot of our women have done undoable in the name of money and material things..

How can I marry a woman before pregnancy, where we can not stand to defend our women nowadays no matter her age, father did trust her daughter anymore, likewise mother or brother you can't stand with boldness to defend a girl because their unknown secret is greater than their known no matter her age, so that is why I prefer to got her pregnant before getting married with her to confirm that she truly a woman and to believe that she really want to become a mother because not every woman want to be a mother ooh and some of them will not Open up and tell you this is what they want to be,they will allow you to suffer for a very long time before you will notice what they problem really are.i don't want to getting married with my fellow man in name of woman,.

Let me shock you,a friend of mine got married with a young lady and they have stayed for more than 4 years without having any children, and they have been going every where looking for solutions, drinking different harbs and going for medication both of them to know who is really having problems inside the two of them,but the results always show that both of them are ok, and they keep on praying to God and believe that one day God will remember them and this man has been spending money seeking for solutions not knowing that the wife is intentionally did not have to have a child for the man, until one day the man saw a drug inside her hand bag and he took it to the chemist store and and them please what could this drug be and what does it do in human body and the chemist look at it and told him that with this drug woman will never conceive,and the man shouted and narrated what he has been passing through for more than 4 good years in marriage.

So since then it's a very big lesson to me and I will never do the same mistake, I know that sometimes our decision may not be the best,but we can do our best  a human being.. and for those who may prefer marriage before pregnancy, please can you state your reasons why I should not got her pregnant before marriage let me see if you can convince me..

I totally agree with you, the question is really a subject one and whether one chooses to get pregnant before or after marriage is entirely up to them. Theirs absolutely no crime in that. In some part of the world, the males will want their partner to get pregnant first before marriage so his assured that she's fertile enough to bear him children and some males also don't want pregnancy or children before marriage. All these things all boils down to different individuals.

I have known cases of people who would directly divorce their partners because they would not be able to have children, which are always heartbreaking.
Though, in this new generation of young people in the west, there are many who do not actually seek to have children actively. Actually, much of this Z generation rather first to secure financial stability before going for the expansion of the family.

Some of my friends have that mindset and I believe I share some of the benefits and reasons why people may want to stay childless. As long as both the man and the woman of the relation are okey with it, I don't see any problem with it.

This is a norm down here in my country. You will see a man not happy with his wife because she cannot give birth. The funny thing is that, the mother of the man will go and bring a different girl of her choice for her son to get married to and divorce his real wife. Some men fall for it and some don't due to the love they have for their spouse.

I believe that this depends on the mindset of both the husband and wife because some people are getting married because they want kids and if such people don't have kids, they wouldn't want to continue the marriage. In some part of my country,  children is more important than anything to enable the marriage work.

Most women go into marriage because they're pregnant for the person they're dating,not necessarily because their are in love.getting married because of pregnancy is a no for me,get married love each other properly and the right way before thinking of children. pregnancy should not be  the reason why you are getting married.

Everyone is different and thinks different
But I would say that things need to be planed before taking action
Most of people don't plan their day so how come they plan their life that's why it happen Pregnancy before marriage

Pregnancy before marriage is not the right thing for any young lady.
I prefer marriage before pregnancy

You are my kind of person my brother, pregnancy first before I will start thinking of getting married  to you because our present women now  are unpredictable, after they might have enjoyed their self, flex and commited all their numerous abortions in the past and got their womb messed up they will start looking for a man that will marry them with their damaged womb, funny enough most of them will prefer keeping you in the dark and if you are not lucky you will stay childless for something you have no idea of.

It very compulsory and mandatory for my woman or any female I want to consider my wife to conceived first before anything better follows otherwise I will just count you as a side chick.