Title: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Prosofina_G on September 23, 2025, 05:16:03 PM Causes of marital conflict in our society. It is really going weird among our couples today to see the rate of divorce in our society.
I have come to outline the main causes while most couples are leaving there maragise. 1. Financial problems 2. Impotent 3 poor communication 4. Lack of sexual interest 5.lack of trust to each other 6. Family issues And many more. Let's look at the financial aspects of life, there is no marriage that will work without money irrespective of the love you have for each other it must boil down to money solving parts of the problem in the marriage. And a situation where the money is not available to solve those needs there is every tendency of amounting problems. Infidelity/importent this is also a major concern in marriage, couples can tire apart for lack of children. Lack of communication in marriage it is very important that you communicate with your wife tell her your day to day activities, discourse with her your plans. Lack of sexual interest, while will either of you lost interest in making love with your man or woman this can really cause problems in the marriage, there are situations that can lead a man losses interest in his wife maybe being dirty but as a man try and call her to order. Trust issues: trust is one of the flixable wire in marriage as a couple try so much to build trust to each other only this can make your relationship grow to climate. Family issues both couples should try so hard to keep their marriage out of there families only that we they achieve a healthy marriage. Summary as a man or woman before you go into marriage you really need to expand in reasoning and understanding, you equally need to be a little bit financially stable. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: HONDACD125 on September 23, 2025, 05:39:23 PM Other problems could exist too, but based on my personal observation and experience, I think money is probably the biggest reason for marital conflicts and it is the main driver of problems and fights between spouses. When a person is financially fit and has everything he needs to keep his family happy, there will not be a lot of problems in the family unless there are problems caused by other very specific things that aren't tolerable, but I think, most of the problems get solved with this.
One of the biggest reasons why money causes problems in a relationship is that the man of the house spends most of this time trying to make more money and have a stable financial life, and because of this, they aren't able to give enough time to their wives or family, and then this isn't liked by the family which then becomes the reason for fights and unnecessary conflicts which mostly lead to stuff like divorce or seperation. So if someone has money, they will also have more time to spend with the family. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Fiatless on September 23, 2025, 06:08:42 PM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. Many people now take advice from influencers who are not even experienced in marriage. Instead of seeking means to settle their differences, couples prefer to follow the footsteps of celebrities, which is why there is are high rate of divorce in society. Some women want to live like celebrities, so they put their husbands under financial pressure.
Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Findingnemo on September 23, 2025, 06:11:02 PM You left out a very important one, see below
https://www.talkimg.com/images/2025/09/23/UQQfWW.gif I will stick with money as the main reason for marriages to end, yes we can say there is cheating and an affair or what else but if someone is insanely rich the girl might not be looking ways to leave him unless if she does then she goes away with 50% then she will just create excuses for this to happen. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Helena Yu on September 23, 2025, 06:48:36 PM I agree with the number one, anyway the number one can solve all problems on the list you mentioned above. I will show the proof:
2. Impotent He can seek the best urologist in this world https://mediglobus.com/ranking-of-the-best-foreign-urology-doctors/Purchase flight ticket, check in the best hotel, eat whatever you want etc and he can cure his impotent problem. Quote 3 poor communication Poor communication happen when you have problem and you can't solve it immediately, with money you can solve it.Quote 4. Lack of sexual interest Since you have money, you can purchase any uniforms, tools, etc including to host porta potty.Quote 5.lack of trust to each other Lack of trust happen because she not believe in you, if you have money, you can solve any problem, which make her trust you completely.Quote 6. Family issues Family issues happen because you can't visit them regularly because you spent too much time for working and for your wife/children, well, if you have money you no longer need to work for long, so you will have time to bound with family.Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Salahmu on September 23, 2025, 07:53:00 PM Other problems could exist too, but based on my personal observation and experience, I think money is probably the biggest reason for marital conflicts and it is the main driver of problems and fights between spouses. When a person is financially fit and has everything he needs to keep his family happy, there will not be a lot of problems in the family unless there are problems caused by other very specific things that aren't tolerable, but I think, most of the problems get solved with this. Yeah there is nothing like money in all of the things that marriages need, not that having only money everything is settled definitely contrary that because money has it purpose and other things also have were they are keeping the marriage, the only reason why money is the major is because every other components depends on the money, the role money plays on the society is also the same way it plays on the marriage because it attributes respect and gives your spouse the confident of being proud of the person. Communication is also important because that's were feelings are usually unveiled because it is through communication you would avoid so many things op has listed including the low desire of sex and also inpatient because you would only no what someone is doing before you can be patient about it. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 23, 2025, 10:31:22 PM 1. Financial problems there is no marriage that will work without money irrespective of the love this is not true there are people with disabilities or other issues were they never were able to work or earn substantial income, but they find devoted love, even on menial income of social security income or minimum/part time wage there are homeless couples that love and are devoted to each other to stay with each other even at lifes lowest what you actually find is when couples meet and get serious at a certain level of lifestyle standard.. but that changes negatively. it is the change of circumstance/lifestyle expectation that is the cause of the conflict and loss of trust/respect that can lead to the split i would say the main contributing factor to causes of marital conflict is: 3 poor communication this should be number 1because during the early stages of a relationship, communication is key. getting to know each others desires, wishes, limitations and objectional things is where people should find their perfect match to even decide to marry each other.. knowing if someone is only with you due to high lifestyle standard or finances, would fail if lifestyle/financial situation changed, so should be no surprise and should be no conflict if such change happens if you already knew this expectation things like if the other partner expects to start a family. but one partner is sterile, infertile, impotent. this is something that should be communicated early on lack of sexual interest. this is communication too. knowing when the other person is in the intimate mood or to know how to engage or trigger intimacy by knowing the other persons desires.. even being told that someone needs to workout/diet to stay in attractive form.. lack of trust is part of lack of communication.. one becomes the other.. like a viscous circle not communicating feelings or observations about each others family and not resolving them early can manifest and get worse over time .. in short no marriage will survive with poor communication, every marriage has a chance of surviving and lasting with good communication. or atleast with good communication it can avoid it leading to conflict and instead have a amicable separation without verbal conflict. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: uneng on September 23, 2025, 11:09:54 PM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. Many people now take advice from influencers who are not even experienced in marriage. Instead of seeking means to settle their differences, couples prefer to follow the footsteps of celebrities, which is why there is are high rate of divorce in society. Some women want to live like celebrities, so they put their husbands under financial pressure. That is a big issue, as people let external opinions influence their relationships. Wife is put against husband and vice versa by strange people on social medias (the so called influencers) or even by family members, religious leaders and work's colleagues. It's consequence of a weak personality, character and self-confidence. The modern human being lacks self-knowledge, as he doesn't know himself, so he ends being manipulated by any charlatans who cross their way on daily life.Better to be alone than by the side of an individual who will turn against you at anytime for banal reasons, due to external shady influences. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 23, 2025, 11:59:43 PM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. Many people now take advice from influencers who are not even experienced in marriage. Instead of seeking means to settle their differences, couples prefer to follow the footsteps of celebrities, which is why there is are high rate of divorce in society. Some women want to live like celebrities, so they put their husbands under financial pressure. That is a big issue, as people let external opinions influence their relationships. Wife is put against husband and vice versa by strange people on social medias (the so called influencers) or even by family members, religious leaders and work's colleagues. It's consequence of a weak personality, character and self-confidence. The modern human being lacks self-knowledge, as he doesn't know himself, so he ends being manipulated by any charlatans who cross their way on daily life.Better to be alone than by the side of an individual who will turn against you at anytime for banal reasons, due to external shady influences. sounds like a communication issue.. again communication is number 1 factor that helps/hinders a relationship Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: passwordnow on September 24, 2025, 03:40:44 AM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. I agree. Social media also plays a big role of marital conflicts. Because of how easy it is to communicate with other people makes people easy to cheat with their partners. Also, the influence of content creators that are into sexy contents make their viewers vulnerable and sets a new standard for them. Because of how all of those tiktok dancing and other contents that are from the women that are free to be seen there. The simps that are married are looking for the same attraction from those content creators and if it's not with their partners, they're looking for someone else.Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: SmartGold01 on September 24, 2025, 09:51:19 AM There is one thing I have ever learned in marriage is that you or your partner must not have 100 percent quality that you deserves in each others but what makes marriage effectively is "That very common thing that made you like or love your partner" only if you must still hold on that then I assure a successful marriage. Listen, any woman or man who must be productive and hardworking must not give his or her family all attention needed that is why you found most men working outside countries, while some men works in rig where they wouldn't give their family that attention needed but talking about finance you would see them providing it to their wife and children. So, In marriage they must chose the most important once, Sexual satisfaction, and finance. This is the common things that holds marriages today, and of course every woman loves money and also love to be satisfied as well.
Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: o48o on September 24, 2025, 11:06:17 AM -cut- Most problems you can solve by good communication, and if that communication doesn't help and you can't find a working solution, it doesn't matter what the problems is, because it's a clear that you are not a good match and then divorcing might be a good solution for everyone.3 poor communication -cut- And how is divorcing rate growth weird? Because people now have an option to choose to either live under oppression of abusive spouse, loveless marriage, in marriage where communication isn't working or find someone better suited for them Why should anyone stay in bad marriage, with problems they can't solve, or live with? Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: AmaGold70 on September 24, 2025, 02:07:56 PM The rate of divorce in our generation now makes me wonder how the older generation worked out their differences in marriage because they lasted longer in marriage unlike this modern age, could it be social media or gender equality that is causing the conflicts in marriages now? Our ancestors lived without social media and they were happy and contented but now it's the other way round. Everyone wants to be heard and no one is listening, and gender equality isn't making it easy, everyone wants to be the head and in charge of their marriage but they forget the instructions given to us about husband and wife in the Bible. The Bible says that a wife should submit their selves to the husband and the husband should love their wife as Christ loves the church.
Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Zanab247 on September 24, 2025, 02:44:53 PM Poverty: Some of the marriage that is experiencing conflict in the society today is because the woman is not bring anything to the table to support the man or the man is not bring anything to the table to support the woman. Check those marriages that is working well in your society you will agree with me that, both the husband and wife are supporting each other financially and materially to make sure children don't lack what to eat, drink, wear and spend.
Cheating: In my society, some of the marriages that is facing conflicts are those marriage both husband and wife are not truthful to each other from the beginning of the marriage, and it can destroy home, because there is nothing anyone can do for the favor of the family that will make one love what he or she do than to have some doubt. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: rodskee on September 24, 2025, 03:04:00 PM all these problems can be avoided if there was open communication between two people i truly believe that honesty is the basis of every relationship the couple must not be afraid of making mistakes or doing something wrong as long as there is open communication so they know what their partner wants and needs and what they can do to avoid any of those
Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: mvdheuvel1983 on September 24, 2025, 06:11:57 PM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. Many people now take advice from influencers who are not even experienced in marriage. Instead of seeking means to settle their differences, couples prefer to follow the footsteps of celebrities, which is why there is are high rate of divorce in society. Some women want to live like celebrities, so they put their husbands under financial pressure. This is true social media has done a lot damages in the relationships and marriages and the recent marital crisis is as the result of those who has chosen the social media as their home to get information to run their family affairs the GenZ marriages are the ones who are fond of taking advice from influencers who were either married ane divorced or those who has never been married in their life before so you should not be surprised when you see them giving wrong information that will help others destroy their home the best thing is to avoid your wife from listening to them because if you don't you should be ready to end your marriage. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 24, 2025, 06:57:52 PM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. This is true social media has done a lot damages in the relationships and marriages and the recent marital crisis is as the result of those here in the UK: https://talkimg.com/images/2025/09/24/UQRF8W.jpeg Quote Divorce rates in the UK have significantly increased since 1950, with the number of divorces rising from around 20,000 in the late 1950s to a peak of over 160,000 by the early 1980s, partly due to the Divorce Reform Act of 1969. After peaking in 1993, the divorce rate in England and Wales has fallen by over 40% since then, reaching rates comparable to the early 1970s by 2022 social media was not available 1970-2000 however the divorce reform act(1969) allowed divorce for too simple a reason, followed by the matrimonial and family proceedings act(1984) which meant instead of communicating and sorting out issues, people just decided to run away from responsibility... basically it became easier to ask for a divorce rather than ask each other what is wrong and what needs to change communication is key. if you cant open up to your partner and tell them whats on your mind, they were not the right person for you. try to find that person you can open up to and speak your mind openly to, and marry them. dont just marry the first piece of meat on 2 legs that you find visibly interested in .. the marriage reform also has been the main cause of couples deciding not to marry/re-marry https://talkimg.com/images/2025/09/24/UQRs5b.jpeg men used to remarry again which is why the make statistic is higher than females. but by recent stats, now male/females both equally choose not to remarry or are equal in their remarriage statistics .. another interesting statistic is. out of gay/lesbian unions/marriages.. male(gay) marriages survive longer then female(lesbian) marriages take that information as you will Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Solosanz on September 24, 2025, 07:15:49 PM It's simple, people change.
I actually think marriage isn't something that must be last forever, it's more make sense marriage is just a long term relationship. Take a look with yourself, I'm sure you always change something, it might be the way you style yourself, your hobby, the place you live etc. Why you didn't just stuck at the same place forever? the same applies with marriage. That's why, before people want to get married, always give a place for preparation if you guys broke up. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Ishicryptic on September 24, 2025, 07:48:35 PM Social media has contributed to the high level of marital problems in recent times. Many people now take advice from influencers who are not even experienced in marriage. Instead of seeking means to settle their differences, couples prefer to follow the footsteps of celebrities, which is why there is are high rate of divorce in society. Some women want to live like celebrities, so they put their husbands under financial pressure. That is a big issue, as people let external opinions influence their relationships. Wife is put against husband and vice versa by strange people on social medias (the so called influencers) or even by family members, religious leaders and work's colleagues. It's consequence of a weak personality, character and self-confidence. The modern human being lacks self-knowledge, as he doesn't know himself, so he ends being manipulated by any charlatans who cross their way on daily life.Better to be alone than by the side of an individual who will turn against you at anytime for banal reasons, due to external shady influences. sounds like a communication issue.. again communication is number 1 factor that helps/hinders a relationship Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: KingsDen on September 24, 2025, 11:42:46 PM -cut- Most problems you can solve by good communication, and if that communication doesn't help and you can't find a working solution, it doesn't matter what the problems is, because it's a clear that you are not a good match and then divorcing might be a good solution for everyone....3 poor communication -cut- It's quite surprising how some guys will talk to a woman for minutes, yet the woman seems not satisfied. A man should posses enough mental power to be able to convince his woman to trust his judgement at any time. I am not saying that men should manipulate the woman, No. But a man should be able to give a woman tangible reasons not to misbehave. Beyond sexual attraction, men should marry women that are morally compatible with them. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 25, 2025, 12:11:25 AM It's quite surprising how some guys will talk to a woman for minutes, yet the woman seems not satisfied. A man should posses enough mental power to be able to convince his woman to trust his judgement at any time. I am not saying that men should manipulate the woman, No. But a man should be able to give a woman tangible reasons not to misbehave. nah men by default are logical problem solvers. when a woman wants to open up and just vent her frustrations to just beheard, she just wants to express them vocally to get them off her mind. but men go into repair mode/finding solutions, thinking its a problem that needs solving. woman may only want acknowledgement that they are heard, not to then be pushed into doing something or given tangible reasons to not do something.. not to be mansplained a solution. they just want acknowledgement (a lesson all guys, including me learn through marriage) dont always be a problem solver, just listen and acknowledge you heard what was said can be enough she wants to know her guy has her back and on her side for when SHE resolves the problem, she doesnt want a mansplain/condescending remark as if she is uncable of resolving issues via lengthy backchat of how the guy needs to control everything, taking the power away from her communication is more important than having a toolbox of tricks Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: o48o on September 25, 2025, 12:09:45 PM Most problems you can solve by good communication, and if that communication doesn't help and you can't find a working solution, it doesn't matter what the problems is, because it's a clear that you are not a good match and then divorcing might be a good solution for everyone.... It's fine that you emphasized on "good communication". Some marriages fail not because they do not communicate, but because the community skill of the couple is too low, especially that of the man. It's quite surprising how some guys will talk to a woman for minutes, yet the woman seems not satisfied. A man should posses enough mental power to be able to convince his woman to trust his judgement at any time. I am not saying that men should manipulate the woman, No. But a man should be able to give a woman tangible reasons not to misbehave. -cut- A: Why women (or men) should be satisfied if someone talks TO them for minutes? How is that surprising they aren't satisfied? B: Why that talk should be about convincing to trust someone's judgement? C: Why is this talk about reasons why wife shouldn't misbehave? It sounds like we live in whole different world if that's communicating to you, and not about empathy, listening to each other and trying to understand each other. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Agbamoni on September 25, 2025, 12:46:46 PM Other problems could exist too, but based on my personal observation and experience, I think money is probably the biggest reason for marital conflicts and it is the main driver of problems and fights between spouses. When a person is financially fit and has everything he needs to keep his family happy, there will not be a lot of problems in the family unless there are problems caused by other very specific things that aren't tolerable, but I think, most of the problems get solved with this. Are you married? Buddy problems are problems whether they are only few or lot of problems. In marriage even if you have the whole world at your disposal, something as little as conversation or arguments can cause problems. I also had in mind that financial problem is the main reason for marital conflict not until, I saw that it was just the beginning. Sexual interest can also be a huge problem. As a man, you may get exhausted after work and cant make love to your wife. She doesn't see it that way, all she thinks is, you are not sexually attracted to her anymore or you are seeing someone else. Not quite long, my neighbor divorced his wife because of this issue. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 25, 2025, 12:56:15 PM Sexual interest can also be a huge problem. As a man, you may get exhausted after work and cant make love to your wife. She doesn't see it that way, all she thinks is, you are not sexually attracted to her anymore or you are seeing someone else. Not quite long, my neighbor divorced his wife because of this issue. again communication is key. such as knowing what each others needs are. even deciding to set a date night to actually have in mind to prepare for intimacy. EG the guy knows its datenight friday night so doesnt exhaust himself during the day, has a afternoon shower, dresses up and they go out for a meal to chill and talk dirty, knowing the kids have a babysitter, and will be fast asleep when they get home, knowing theres no dishes to cleanup.. it helps set the positive mood rather than unanswered questions of trying to guess the best time to engage in intimacy. intimacy is about 2 people. its about knowing each others needs. similar to a family car. some people think because its a joint car one side has the right to have it anytime they please. but reality in relationships is to simply ask 'are you doing anything important tonight because i need the car' similar to what could be asked about intimacy, 'are you doing anything important tonight because we should have a datenight' rather than just hoisting your hand between their legs and thinking they are instantly going to grind against it happily without question everytime Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Marykeller on September 25, 2025, 01:00:28 PM Seeking outsiders advice over family issues that could be resolved between couples. Nothing destroys marriage like telling family relations or friends about what goes on in and out of your marriage. That attitude alone can cause problems in the family because of the different advice given that could affect the family happiness and growth
Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: KingsDen on September 25, 2025, 10:09:03 PM It's quite surprising how some guys will talk to a woman for minutes, yet the woman seems not satisfied. A man should posses enough mental power to be able to convince his woman to trust his judgement at any time. I am not saying that men should manipulate the woman, No. But a man should be able to give a woman tangible reasons not to misbehave. nah men by default are logical problem solvers. when a woman wants to open up and just vent her frustrations to just beheard, she just wants to express them vocally to get them off her mind. but men go into repair mode/finding solutions, thinking its a problem that needs solving. woman may only want acknowledgement that they are heard, not to then be pushed into doing something or given tangible reasons to not do something.. not to be mansplained a solution. they just want acknowledgement (a lesson all guys, including me learn through marriage) dont always be a problem solver, just listen and acknowledge you heard what was said can be enough she wants to know her guy has her back and on her side for when SHE resolves the problem, she doesnt want a mansplain/condescending remark as if she is uncable of resolving issues via lengthy backchat of how the guy needs to control everything, taking the power away from her communication is more important than having a toolbox of tricks "Don't always be a problem solver..." That is so true, sometimes what she will present you with as a problem might be nothing close to a problem. Just listening and acknowledging that you have heard missing be the solution. I have learnt this Although my mum told me as a kid that sometimes silence is the greatest problem solver. Something you think has no solution still has a solution. You could go silent and allow the problem fix itself. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 26, 2025, 05:03:11 AM It's quite surprising how some guys will talk to a woman for minutes, yet the woman seems not satisfied. A man should posses enough mental power to be able to convince his woman to trust his judgement at any time. nahI am not saying that men should manipulate the woman, No. But a man should be able to give a woman tangible reasons not to misbehave. men by default are logical problem solvers. when a woman wants to open up and just vent her frustrations to just be heard, she just wants to express them vocally to get them off her mind. .. communication is more important than having a toolbox of tricks "Don't always be a problem solver..." That is so true, sometimes what she will present you with as a problem might be nothing close to a problem. even when a problem is real, dont think that because she doesnt want you handling it then it be nothing close to a problem. it might be a problem but she doesnt want you to solve it, she doesnt want you to mansplain/condescend strategies she may just want to vent to clear her mind emotionally to then be able to concentrate on solving it herself EG she says 'im soo stressed, there is so much work i need to do' dont respond: 'let me do some for you if you cant cope' dont respond: 'maybe your taking too long on each thing' dont respond: 'here's a way to be more efficient' dont respond: 'maybe you should talk to your boss and ask him to give you less work' these all sound like she is no good, incapable, cant think for herself makes her think your telling her that you know her job better than her and you could do it better than her.. imagine flipping the situation (your into DIY/landscaping) you tell your wife: "dang it im gonna need to spend all day making a backyard patio deck".. if she said "dont worry ill do it" you instantly thinking she may not know how to do it properly as its not her normal job so she may end up messing it up more than helping and thus causing more problems... well thats what she is probably thinking when you come up with solutions to take away the workload from her. that she is either incapable or you will mess it up or half-as it and cause more issues for her later even if you cant stop being a problem solver, listen again or understand the real issue she is telling you: EG she says 'im soo stressed, there is so much work i need to do' do respond: 'need a hug?, back massage, rum&coke' do respond: 'wanna vent?/talk about it' do respond: 'tell me when your nearly done and ill make you a yummy meal and prep a bubble bath so you can relax' Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Helena Yu on September 26, 2025, 05:13:29 AM nah Now I understand the meaning of post on social medias "control your lust & you'll understand how boring 90% of women are".men by default are logical problem solvers. when a woman wants to open up and just vent her frustrations to just beheard, she just wants to express them vocally to get them off her mind. but men go into repair mode/finding solutions, thinking its a problem that needs solving. woman may only want acknowledgement that they are heard, not to then be pushed into doing something or given tangible reasons to not do something.. not to be mansplained a solution. they just want acknowledgement (a lesson all guys, including me learn through marriage) dont always be a problem solver, just listen and acknowledge you heard what was said can be enough she wants to know her guy has her back and on her side for when SHE resolves the problem, she doesnt want a mansplain/condescending remark as if she is uncable of resolving issues via lengthy backchat of how the guy needs to control everything, taking the power away from her communication is more important than having a toolbox of tricks Women only want to express their story/problem and not want to find a solution to fix it, which mean they're just bitching without any action. They need men to provide and give everything for them, while they can't solve the problem of their men and only give useless mental support (which anyone can get by seeking a psychologist. I don't see those thing you mentioned fall to communication, it's more about providing. dont respond: 'let me do some for you if you cant cope' I think many women seek for this respond, they want someone who can help them.Quote imagine flipping the situation (your into DIY/landscaping) I will give her a try and watch what she will do, if I see she make mistake/not experienced, then I will ask her to stop.you tell your wife: "dang it im gonna need to spend all day making a backyard patio deck".. if she said "dont worry ill do it" you instantly thinking she may not know how to do it properly as its not her normal job so she may end up messing it up more than helping and thus causing more problems... well thats what she is probably thinking when you come up with solutions to take away the workload from her. that she is either incapable or you will mess it up or half-as it and cause more issues for her later Quote even if you cant stop being a problem solver, listen again or understand the real issue she is telling you: Yeah I know many women also want get this response, but mature women don't like this, it only works for girls who seek for handsome boys.EG she says 'im soo stressed, there is so much work i need to do' do respond: 'need a hug?, back massage, rum&coke' do respond: 'wanna vent?/talk about it' do respond: 'tell me when your nearly done and ill make you a yummy meal and prep a bubble bath so you can relax' Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 26, 2025, 05:20:49 AM Now I understand the meaning of post on social medias "control your lust & you'll understand how boring 90% of women are". Women only want to express their story/problem and not want to find a solution to fix it, which mean they're just bitching without any action. They need men to provide and give everything for them, while they can't solve the problem of their men and only give useless mental support (which anyone can get by seeking a psychologist. I don't see those thing you mentioned fall to communication, it's more about providing. if your relying on social media to get the type of narrative you just said.. you failed already if social media is telling you woman are 90% boring if social media is telling you woman only want to express drama/problems if social media is telling you woman dont want to fix a problem if social media is telling you woman just bitch without action if social media is telling you woman need men to provide and give everything then you are obviously single and a virgin so never had a real relationship to realise how capable a real woman is.. .. you will learn one day, it will open your eyes.. but first. you must learn to talk to a woman before being able to date one communication comes first look at your social media likes/shares and who your following and stop following that crap. its giving you bad idea's about women before you even met one.. .. instead clear your mind of any preconceptions of women that social media has told you. and instead talk to women in the real world. there are alot of them and alot of them are different in alot of ways, get to know them. it will surprise you ... the crap you just said in regards to what social media told you about women. is the usual "incel" crap single guys spread to each other as excuses for why they are single and unable to date, which then causes other guys to then not want to even try dating, not even want to try talking to women, because they feel there is no point (incels breading incels) dont let social media of single idiot incels dictate your own life decisions. as you will just end up staying single if you follow that crap Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 26, 2025, 05:33:30 AM dont respond: 'let me do some for you if you cant cope' I think many women seek for this respond, they want someone who can help them.EG wife:"honey can you help with.." vs "im stressed i have so much work i need to do" note the difference there are sometimes women can be more subtle, where a offer of help could be implied EG "im stressed there is so much work that needs to be done" where she is not identifying that she is the one that has the workload on herself, but usually this would be in context of her already knowing you are capable of helping without needing her to teach your her skill/jobrole again communication and listening skills are key even if you cant stop being a problem solver, listen again or understand the real issue she is telling you: Yeah I know many women also want get this response, but mature women don't like this, it only works for girls who seek for handsome boys.EG she says 'im soo stressed, there is so much work i need to do' do respond: 'need a hug?, back massage, rum&coke' do respond: 'wanna vent?/talk about it' do respond: 'tell me when your nearly done and ill make you a yummy meal and prep a bubble bath so you can relax' Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Helena Yu on September 26, 2025, 07:57:30 AM then you are obviously single and a virgin so never had a real relationship to realise how capable a real woman is.. I know there are serious and real women, but they're looking for provider men, they will ask how much money I make as the most important part to decide yay or nay.Quote look at your social media likes/shares and who your following and stop following that crap. its giving you bad idea's about women before you even met one.. I do have a real life experience and date many women, unfortunately almost all of them are pretty much similar like what I read on social medias. I pick them up, pay the bills, open the conversation and then sent them back. I realize, there's nothing I get, just an useless chit chat and whenever I talk about something serious/technical they didn't understand at all... instead clear your mind of any preconceptions of women that social media has told you. and instead talk to women in the real world. there are alot of them and alot of them are different in alot of ways, get to know them. it will surprise you They did ask something that I don't know about that e.g. music, vacation, place etc, but all of them are useless because even I understand that, it won't able to make money. actualy if they want help, they will ask for it. hence the point of actually listening to what she says I disagree.EG wife:"honey can you help with.." vs "im stressed i have so much work i need to do" note the difference there are sometimes women can be more subtle, where a offer of help could be implied EG "im stressed there is so much work that needs to be done" where she is not identifying that she is the one that has the workload on herself, but usually this would be in context of her already knowing you are capable of helping without needing her to teach your her skill/jobrole again communication and listening skills are key Didn't you know if most women only want to give code/signal instead of being straight up? they didn't ask help, instead they will complain something and they expect you to help/fix it. I'm not sure with other people experience with women, but I think we have a different culture. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 26, 2025, 11:41:35 AM as you admit you never had a serious relationship and instead you only experienced many first dates
you also admit the communication is lacking, because they dont involve themselves in YOUR technical discussion chosen topic maybe try a different location/method of meeting women. if you are just using dating app's then expect low expectations. think about your hobbies and interests and go places where like minded people of such go. EG if you are into a sports team, find a sports bar or practice field/game where most of your teams supporter go(dont go to a rival teams place) EG if you are into politics, go to bars conventions/protests that the particular political party supports go EG if you want an athletic/fit woman who takes care of herself, go to the gym strike up a normal casual conversation with a woman. learn some icebreaker/conversation starters. just small quips to get a interaction started as for during the first date think charm. not interview/test/interrogation if your talking about technical things on first dates, your not learning about how to charm someone on first date im going to hazard and guess you talk about bitcoin during your first dates, thinking that will impress them with some technical details about your knowledge of it.. dont do that. its not a first date kind of subject. its not going to get their genitals to tingle and desire you if you want to impress them without technicals. just say you are into financial trading. leave it vague. because bitcoin is a traded currency after all. let them ask the questions if they want to know more.. dont throw heaps of info at them in one go. give them bait to bite on. gauge their response. EG you can gauge if a woman is an experienced gold digger or inexperienced. if she asks about your bank account she is inexperienced and new to gold digging if she asks about investment portfolios she is experienced. real experienced people in finance and wealth dont hoard cash in lame bank accounts and if she doesnt know this, that wealthy people dont have money in banks, then she doesnt know wealthy people. just offer tip-bits of info, see which subjects bite and turn into a conversation. stop throwing large info and expect them to jsut suck it all in and meet high expectations of reciprocation instantly talk about if you like animals, if you have siblings and thus any nephews/nieces and how you treat them and how you feel about families. give them an idea of what a future with you would look like. will it be a caring home full of animals and offspring, doing outdoor activities. or would it look like a office situation. no children, no pets allowed and if not an office worker, the only person there would be the cleaner throwing technical jargon at them will feel like they are always in a science test constantly, no warmth, just lectures, note taking, essay reading/writing if geeky stuff is your 100% interest, then attend conventions/conferences and strike up conversations at the bar or whilst walking around dont be pushy thinking to expect some 'fun time' at the end of the conversation/date simply because you spent a bit of money on drinks and had a conversation you have much to learn about how to communicate, but one thing is for sure, social media is not your friend, and definitely should not be your source of dating advice. as you are still single.. which shows it has not worked out so far. and instead filled your head with negativity about women as for your preconceived perceptions of women due to social media an experiment for you to try that does not involve women drive down a road and just glance at all the different cars. notice how there are many brands, many shapes many colours.. alot of variety now play 'i spy'.. pick a car brand. EG Ford. and then as you drive notice how many fords you see.. suddenly you are only aware/counting/noticing the fords and ignoring the other brands. not even remembering what random brand just passed you because you are now setting your mind to only notice/remember the fords in particular... ... that is the psychological game these incel trolls play to gain more incels into their community. they want guys to only remember the bad women. to look out for only the red flags and ignore the green flags.. if you only see red ford cars. you will ignore the rest that could have been a good ride Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Helena Yu on September 27, 2025, 10:12:47 AM think about your hobbies and interests and go places where like minded people of such go. Okay that make sense.EG if you are into a sports team, find a sports bar or practice field/game where most of your teams supporter go(do go to a rival teams place) EG if you are into politics, go to bars conventions/protests that the particular political party supports go EG if you want an athletic/fit woman who takes care of herself, go to the gym Quote im going to hazard and guess you talk about bitcoin during your first dates, thinking that will impress them with some technical details about your knowledge of it.. dont do that. its not a first date kind of subject. its not going to get their genitals to tingle and desire you Nope, it's not like that, I'm just asking about something in order to see their perspective and how they gonna solve the problem. But, I didn't get the answer, instead they change the topic and avoid to answer because it's make them need to use their brain to think deeper.Quote EG you can gauge if a woman is an experienced gold digger or inexperienced. if she asks about your bank account she is inexperienced and new to gold digging Well, so if she discuss about investment, she's a gold digger?if she asks about investment portfolios she is experienced. real experienced people in finance and wealth dont hoard cash in lame bank accounts and if she doesnt know this, that wealthy people dont have money in banks, then she doesnt know wealthy people. Honestly it's not wrong to discuss about financial, but I find if men trying to discuss the women's financial, most women can't accept this. I mean discuss about the way to use the money if both of them making money. What I know women doesn't want to give any money that they make to the men, if they give it, it will count as a debt that the men must pay it back. Quote dont be pushy thinking to expect some 'fun time' at the end of the conversation/date simply because you spent a bit of money on drinks and had a conversation I'm not, but yeah I should treat it like a social investment.Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: ODG001 on September 28, 2025, 06:01:24 PM Marital conflict is a very diverse topic which of course has causes so deep and broad
I believe some of the popular ones in our society today are Infidelity, Lack of trust, Over-expectation and of course Comparison. Note, these factors are not gender specific Our modern society is gradually turning marriage into an exercise of unnecessary competition and comparison (between marriage of other friends and family) which isn't healthy for the union. Additionally, lovers in courtship should also discuss those little flaws noticed during the courtship period because it helps address the problems earlier than waiting for it to become an issue first during marriage before takin care of it. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 29, 2025, 02:28:11 PM Quote im going to hazard and guess you talk about bitcoin during your first dates, thinking that will impress them with some technical details about your knowledge of it.. dont do that. its not a first date kind of subject. its not going to get their genitals to tingle and desire you Nope, it's not like that, I'm just asking about something in order to see their perspective and how they gonna solve the problem. But, I didn't get the answer, instead they change the topic and avoid to answer because it's make them need to use their brain to think deeper.the first date is flirt and small talk. tip-bits of info just to get to know each other. its about knowing your into trading, but not needing to know what hodl means Quote EG you can gauge if a woman is an experienced gold digger or inexperienced. if she asks about your bank account she is inexperienced and new to gold digging Well, so if she discuss about investment, she's a gold digger?if she asks about investment portfolios she is experienced. real experienced people in finance and wealth dont hoard cash in lame bank accounts and if she doesnt know this, that wealthy people dont have money in banks, then she doesnt know wealthy people. usually the ones making it blindingly obvious they are money hungry lets you know their intentions.. where by the younger naive ones asking about bank. have yet to experience that digger life and are just saying what they were taught in social media.. where as the experienced diggers asking about portfolio. thats the big risk to watch out for. many would call those types the 'black widow' as they are the ones that get in for the money and take it all on the exit. and already have an established experience pattern Honestly it's not wrong to discuss about financial, but I find if men trying to discuss the women's financial, most women can't accept this. I mean discuss about the way to use the money if both of them making money. What I know women doesn't want to give any money that they make to the men, if they give it, it will count as a debt that the men must pay it back. talking about how you earn money is fine. talking about how you spend it is fine.. but its more about how the questions are presented.again communication skills are key learning the subtle cues. learning how to say things in a certain way. learning what to listen for will help find the best compatible person there are some women that just refuse to work, but they still want the Gucci handbag and tropical vacation lifestyle though but they are not the type you will find at a normal local team sports bar. they hang around high end night clubs celebrities attend and bars which the team players of major leagues frequent this again is about learning where to pick up women to meet certain expectations this includes which dating apps to use/avoid. as for figuring out their financial mindset without begging for a bank statement, its subtly thats needed. find out their current living situation. still with parents, or have their own place, do they work or not. obviously not working and still with parents is someone that will want you to pay for everything and also give her an allowance.. where as a independant woman in a well paid job already pays her bills so would be happy to move in with a guy and pay half Quote dont be pushy thinking to expect some 'fun time' at the end of the conversation/date simply because you spent a bit of money on drinks and had a conversation I'm not, but yeah I should treat it like a social investment.treating a date as an investment/debt. where someone needs to give their body as payment, obviously shows you have a lack of understanding love and relationships. sex should not feel like a debt. it should be a spontaneous desire both want because they enjoy each other. if you cant aim to achieve the flirt and charm. and think the drinks bill will solidify the deal. you have gone wrong already if your mind is stuck in the "if i pay out, she better put-out" social media false dating tip.. then you are not looking for love/a partner/marriage so just accept you just want casual short fun events. and just look for the short casual fun. where you are not looking to settle yet. when your mind changes from a debt/delivery arrangement.. and instead a comfort/desire mindset. then start thinking of looking for woman that want more then a few fun nights Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: GiftedMAN on September 29, 2025, 02:54:08 PM Seeking outsiders advice over family issues that could be resolved between couples. Nothing destroys marriage like telling family relations or friends about what goes on in and out of your marriage. That attitude alone can cause problems in the family because of the different advice given that could affect the family happiness and growth This is also a vital point that could destroy a peace home husband and wife should understand that they will definitely have issues in marriage but they should try to resolve their issues them instead of seeking for external bodies to come tell them what to do and how to live together as husbands and wives they may end up destroying the marriage because by tomorrow different issues may arise a different person may also be called to settle the disagreement that's how they will keep taking their matters outside until people help them to destroy the marriage. If you can relate only the good part of your family to your relatives you have a better chance of enjoying your family but when you allow them to step into your family affairs you will regret everything because they will say things that will bring more problems and disunity to the family. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Promocodeudo on September 29, 2025, 03:10:42 PM Seeking outsiders advice over family issues that could be resolved between couples. Nothing destroys marriage like telling family relations or friends about what goes on in and out of your marriage. May marriage has ended today because of this, there are some matters that outside don't need to hear in marriage, that's why it takes two matures partners that understands themselves to make there marriage work, in my entertaining hear say is one of the factors that causes havock in marriage, it is even funny that some married people seek advise from people that they better of and not married and without experience of what might likely occur in marriage.Even when you guys see a counselor for marriage counseling or when there's conflicting, you'll notice that the work load will still be on both couples, you guys will be ask to go back home to watch things out, improve on somethings you weren't doing right earlier at some point if both partners understand themselves they will know that there is no need of relating things to any outsider when they can actually settle things themselves. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Dunamisx on September 29, 2025, 03:30:44 PM Causes of marital conflict in our society. It is really going weird among our couples today to see the rate of divorce in our society. I have come to outline the main causes while most couples are leaving there maragise. 1. Financial problems 2. Impotent 3 poor communication 4. Lack of sexual interest 5.lack of trust to each other 6. Family issues And many more. Relationship oil must be renewed consistently over time, we can claimed being in love and it does not cost us anything, because it's all about giving even when the partner does not deserve it, taking responsibility for someone is not an easy task to do, because marriage is the only institution that permits for doing this willingly and freely for the purpose of love, don't expect what you don't give in marriage or relationship. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Accardo on September 29, 2025, 03:36:13 PM all these problems can be avoided if there was open communication between two people i truly believe that honesty is the basis of every relationship the couple must not be afraid of making mistakes or doing something wrong as long as there is open communication so they know what their partner wants and needs and what they can do to avoid any of those Talking things over is the first aid to a broken home. Memories watch down their thoughts or ways they've been helpful to one another in the past. The thing is they assume nothing is working, while things were wrong. Life can be cruel, but little changes grows to bigger chsnge. Therefore, at a constant verbal and emotional response to a spouse's signs and reaction, painful thoughts could be straightened out. The problem would be getting them to talk it over. Nobody's complaints happens to make meaning to the other party. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: franky1 on September 29, 2025, 04:04:52 PM other communication aids are to have a proper grown up talking time, make it a thursday. this is not a day to fight. but to talk and discuss issues, it can even be as simple as setting the next weeks budget/bills. just have it as a pattern/schedule so that its known/planned and not an abrupt surprise which leads to other issues.
then have a date night on the friday evening. and agree no matter what is said on the thursday you both agree to enjoy a date night on the friday. that way any bad mood created on thursday doesnt last into the weekend but is broke via the following day the mature talk evening is not a day to intentionally create/invent bad things to say. its not to be used to cause conflict. but a set day that if anything is on your mind it is the opportunity to say it in a setting thats met and agreed that certain things can be said openly and honestly and calmly. many times people feel afraid to say something because they dont know the best time to say it. so knowing thursday is the right day, you then can just work on how to say it calmly and maturely in the lead-up to thursday. and if there is no issues to discuss. well atleast kiss and cuddle and use that time Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Bigjoe158 on October 02, 2025, 03:27:36 PM I will say the first one on your list is the major cause of marital conflict because without money you cannot run your family. If you are not financially okay by providing for your family, you lose respect from your wife and children leading to argument in your house. When your wife demands for money for her upkeep and you cannot provide it especially when her friends are looking good more than her. In my country, it is a serious matter, inlaws will mount pressure on you for not been man enough to provide for their daughter. Church donations, children school fees, house rent, church uniforms, burial levies or contributions, luxurious lifestyle from the wife,if the man cannot provide all these things, your marriage will be under threat leading to divorce.
Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: ThankGodkk2 on October 02, 2025, 08:39:04 PM Other problems could exist too, but based on my personal observation and experience, I think money is probably the biggest reason for marital conflicts and it is the main driver of problems and fights between spouses. When a person is financially fit and has everything he needs to keep his family happy, there will not be a lot of problems in the family unless there are problems caused by other very specific things that aren't tolerable, but I think, most of the problems get solved with this. Yeah there is nothing like money in all of the things that marriages need, not that having only money everything is settled definitely contrary that because money has it purpose and other things also have were they are keeping the marriage, the only reason why money is the major is because every other components depends on the money, the role money plays on the society is also the same way it plays on the marriage because it attributes respect and gives your spouse the confident of being proud of the person. Communication is also important because that's were feelings are usually unveiled because it is through communication you would avoid so many things op has listed including the low desire of sex and also inpatient because you would only no what someone is doing before you can be patient about it. Infidelity: cheating as common it may seem is practically one of the deal breakers for most individuals in a relationship and when a partner tend to cheat it causes deep betrayal of trust and things may return back to their original state after this is observed. Family background: Coming from diverse family backgrounds contribute to how an individual behavioral pattern is shaped and hence can affect our lifestyles,choices and morals.Couples from two different backgrounds may need time to adapt to each other via this aspect. Unmet expectations: When one partner feels the other is not meeting up to his or her expectations emotionally,financially or physically. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Anayochukwu on October 03, 2025, 04:31:12 PM Causes of marital conflict in our society. It is really going weird among our couples today to see the rate of divorce in our society. The fight for gender equality has done more harm than good in marriages now, everyone wants to be the head of the family and no one is ready to listen to each other, lack of communication is also a problem in marriages everyone is so focused on their jobs trying to build and career and have neglected the needs of their spouse. Communication is key in every marriage and if there's no communication then there's no love and love is the only thing that bounds spouses together, no body is ready to continue a marriage where cheating has become a norm without remorse, cheating, lack of communication and gender equality destroys marriages faster. I have come to outline the main causes while most couples are leaving there maragise. 1. Financial problems 2. Impotent 3 poor communication 4. Lack of sexual interest 5.lack of trust to each other 6. Family issues And many more. Let's look at the financial aspects of life, there is no marriage that will work without money irrespective of the love you have for each other it must boil down to money solving parts of the problem in the marriage. And a situation where the money is not available to solve those needs there is every tendency of amounting problems. Infidelity/importent this is also a major concern in marriage, couples can tire apart for lack of children. Lack of communication in marriage it is very important that you communicate with your wife tell her your day to day activities, discourse with her your plans. Lack of sexual interest, while will either of you lost interest in making love with your man or woman this can really cause problems in the marriage, there are situations that can lead a man losses interest in his wife maybe being dirty but as a man try and call her to order. Trust issues: trust is one of the flixable wire in marriage as a couple try so much to build trust to each other only this can make your relationship grow to climate. Family issues both couples should try so hard to keep their marriage out of there families only that we they achieve a healthy marriage. Summary as a man or woman before you go into marriage you really need to expand in reasoning and understanding, you equally need to be a little bit financially stable. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Odusko on October 03, 2025, 07:43:16 PM You left out a very important one, see below Money rule the world, so where money is the loyalty lies, I love the meme anyways, no woman will leave a snoring rich guys at least, between when the partner is poor and snoring it becomes double troubles, money make things work to a significant level, marriage have a lot that requires money to make it works. https://www.talkimg.com/images/2025/09/23/UQQfWW.gif I will stick with money as the main reason for marriages to end, yes we can say there is cheating and an affair or what else but if someone is insanely rich the girl might not be looking ways to leave him unless if she does then she goes away with 50% then she will just create excuses for this to happen. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Findingnemo on October 03, 2025, 07:49:13 PM no woman will leave a snoring rich guys at least, between when the partner is poor and snoring it becomes double troubles, money make things work to a significant level, marriage have a lot that requires money to make it works. We can say now women share everything and that is why they seek equality but the truth is still men holds the financial responsibility and he needs to make money to take care of his family even if he doesn't want to but that is not the case with women, they can chose between supporting or not. So yeah money is very important for a marriage to stay intact which many will not agree even though it is the fact.Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Johnlomape on October 04, 2025, 09:47:46 PM no woman will leave a snoring rich guys at least, between when the partner is poor and snoring it becomes double troubles, money make things work to a significant level, marriage have a lot that requires money to make it works. We can say now women share everything and that is why they seek equality but the truth is still men holds the financial responsibility and he needs to make money to take care of his family even if he doesn't want to but that is not the case with women, they can chose between supporting or not. So yeah money is very important for a marriage to stay intact which many will not agree even though it is the fact.When a woman is too stingy for his man, this always cause misunderstanding between the man and the woman and can lead to division in the family. Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: Lolipo on October 06, 2025, 12:14:17 PM Causes of marital conflict in our society. It is really going weird among our couples today to see the rate of divorce in our society. There are so many causes as you have mentioned but you fail to mention the most important which trust, submissiveness, once there is not trust in marriage it won't work, is either the man will be suspecting the woman or the woman suspecting the man. And also don't forget that women are suppose to be submissive to their husband while the man in turn will provide for the woman. I have seen a family whereby a woman because she is the breed winner tends to disobey the husband thereby not been submissive to the man, and the marriage didn't last, also communication is part of what brings conflicts in a marriage. So we should also consider three I mentioned as causes of marital conflict in our society.I have come to outline the main causes while most couples are leaving there maragise. 1. Financial problems 2. Impotent 3 poor communication 4. Lack of sexual interest 5.lack of trust to each other 6. Family issues And many more. -snip- Title: Re: Causes of marital conflict Post by: o48o on October 06, 2025, 03:10:11 PM The fight for gender equality has done more harm than good in marriages now, everyone wants to be the head of the family and no one is ready to listen to each other, lack of communication is also a problem in marriages everyone is so focused on their jobs trying to build and career and have neglected the needs of their spouse. Communication is key in every marriage and if there's no communication then there's no love and love is the only thing that bounds spouses together, no body is ready to continue a marriage where cheating has become a norm without remorse, cheating, lack of communication and gender equality destroys marriages faster. You are talking about lack of communication and cheating, and neither of them have anything to do with gender equality.Neglecting the needs of your spouse doesn't happen because there's no time for it, it's because there's no will for it. If your marriage is doing fine, you want to invest into it and schedule time for each other, as you prioritize each other. If work comes before communication, problem isn't work, but the priorities you choose. And if communication isn't a priority, why would you even want to stay married? So what are you even on about? |