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The results are in, out of 100,000 people, about five people voted for me, and two other guys voted for artifically resurrected Stalin

It's quite obvious that the majority of you CHOSE to vote me in

Therefore, I am the new president.


Here are my policies:

== Abortion ==

Abortion is okay, as long as it is fully funded by your taxes. All sex is rape, and rape leads to abortions, therefore, since men cause 101.2% of all rapes, there needs to be a rape tax Voluntary monetary exchange for non-consentual sexual intercourse.

Don't worry, it's perfectly voluntary, as long as you pay.

== Gay marriage ==

Gay marriage is fine too, as long as all marriages are documented by the state. For your safety, you need to tell me The Department of Marriage Equality who you're married to, so we can tax both of you accordingly.

Just don't marry an undocumented immigrant, because that would make you a terrorist.

== Foreign policy ==

For your safety, we need to declare war on all the Middle East all oil rich Middle Eastern nations. After you go to war, you will be awarded with PTSD and homelessness.

There is a lot to be discussed, but I unfortunately cannot discuss it because we are living in rape culture.

After reading your stances, I am very interested in hearing artifically resurrected Stalin's stances.