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Economy => Economics => Topic started by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 05:26:29 AM



Title: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 05:26:29 AM
ya.. but not as in "the federal reserve"  whata joke.. they are too scary to be funny

more like

the 1st law of Economic...  for every economist there is an equal and opposite economist

the 2nd law o economics..  they are both most likely wrong


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 05:31:42 AM
how about

if you laid all the worlds economists end to end... they wouldnt reach

a conclusion


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Strider Hiryu on August 22, 2012, 08:06:10 AM
An economist and his friend are walking along, the friend says to the economist "look there's a $20 bill on the ground", the economist keeps walking without looking down and says "that's impossible, someone would have already picked it up".


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 08:06:27 AM
come on nobody?...

not even...  economists do it with models?

am i the only one who think economics is sooo funny?....  

<crickets>


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 08:07:19 AM
oh nice...  welcome to economyuks

i was getting lonely


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 08:22:53 AM
huh???


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Realpra on August 22, 2012, 08:49:22 AM
"1st law of thermo-economics - The amount of facts in economics is always the same in a closed system. If some sub field experiences an increase in facts, another must be forgetting facts at the same rate.

2nd law of thermo-economics - Facts in economics have a tendency to spread between all sub fields and always moves from more informed areas to more deranged ones. The result is an increase in "econotropy" - the general uselessness of all economist theory."


"Say you have two cows:

In capitalism your boss butchers them both for profit, live rich a while and then you all starve next year.

In communism the government takes your cows and give you half their milk.

In a democracy the two other guys vote for you doing all the work and getting 1/4 of the milk.

In a theocracy you sacrifice your cows to your god and starve to death while praying all day.

In Africa you neglect your two cows to death and get three new and better ones in foreign aid.

In a bureaucracy the government milks one of them, shoots the other and then pours the milk on the ground."


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: arrowdebreu on August 22, 2012, 09:23:33 AM
An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were were arguing about what was God's real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!" "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 09:29:50 AM
Why has astrology been invented?

So that economics can be an accurate science.


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 09:38:47 AM
Why has astrology been invented?

So that economics can be an accurate science.

errrrmmm  this is all hat to me

but.. i am an excellent poster!!




Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Oinsane1 on August 22, 2012, 09:40:08 AM
There are two types of economists:


those who cannot forecast interest rates, and
 

those who do not know that they cannot forecast interest rates.



actually.. im going to take a stab.. at it..   0%


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Akka on August 22, 2012, 10:57:13 AM

"Say you have two cows:

In capitalism your boss butchers them both for profit, live rich a while and then you all starve next year.

In communism the government takes your cows and give you half their milk.

In a democracy the two other guys vote for you doing all the work and getting 1/4 of the milk.

In a theocracy you sacrifice your cows to your god and starve to death while praying all day.

In Africa you neglect your two cows to death and get three new and better ones in foreign aid.

In a bureaucracy the government milks one of them, shoots the other and then pours the milk on the ground."

Social:
You have two cows, your neighbor none.  You feel bad because you work successfully. You elect people that Tax your cows heavily. That forces you to sell one of your cows. The people you voted for take the money from your taxes buy your cow and give it to you neighbor.

Liberal:
You have two cows, you neighbor none. ...So what?

US-American:
You sell one cow and lease it back. You form a cooperation. Now you force both cows to give the triple amount of milk. One of the cows dies due to you treatment. You hold a press conference announcing that you have halved you costs. You stocks skyrocket.

Japanese:
You have two cows. You create a manga called cowminton and publish it wordwide. You make millions.

German:
You two cows show up on their own on exactly the same time each day, giving exactly the same amount of milk in perfect quality. Sadly your cows want 13 Weeks of holiday a year.

Italian:
You are pretty sure you have two cows, but you canít find them. While searching for them you see a beautiful woman. Life is great.

French:
You have two cows. You strike because you want to have three cows.

Swiss:
You have 5000 cows. None is yours but you get paid from their owners for keeping them.


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Matthew N. Wright on August 22, 2012, 11:29:00 AM
Best economic joke:

SolidCoin


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: jwzguy on August 22, 2012, 11:57:38 AM
Y=C+I+nX+G


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: kjj on August 22, 2012, 08:11:32 PM
A geologist, an engineer and an economist fall into a deep hole.  The geologist starts inspecting the rocks and dirt and declares that they can get out by tunneling up through a soft area.  The engineer looks too, and says that they can get out by dislodging some of the stones, and wedging them back into the walls to form stairs up.  The economist thinks for a bit and says "First we assume a ladder..."


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: AsymmetricInformation on August 23, 2012, 09:50:15 PM
If you've not seen em, how about these?

http://fedvalentines.tumblr.com/


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: malevolent on August 23, 2012, 09:57:56 PM
Also, what are the sizes you would like to have?

https://support.google.com/adsense/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=185665

love this one

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz76vppZEZ1rpromno1_500.jpg


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Raize on August 24, 2012, 12:12:49 AM
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind. The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers.

The priest goes, "Gracious me, all my life Iíve preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!"Ě. The therapist says, "Sorry! Iíve been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, what shame!"Ě The economist says, "That's horrible! They should be playing at night."


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: bracek on August 25, 2012, 07:55:06 PM
two economists walk along the road and stumble upon a shit,
one says to the other: I'll give u 200 bucks if you eat it
and the other one immediately seizes a good deal

not long after, they find another shit by the road,
now the second one offers the same deal to the first one,
and deal, being such a good one, is also done

they walk for a while, and suddenly one realizes that
they both ate a shit and had no profit from it,
but then happily conclude that they made a nice turnover


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: cbeast on August 25, 2012, 08:23:09 PM
I thought the title was "Bring out your best economist jokes" because I was going to say "all of them."  ;D


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Realpra on August 26, 2012, 09:55:59 AM
Swiss:
You have 5000 cows. None is yours but you get paid from their owners for keeping them.
I love this thread.

Stole this here "http://nd.edu/~jstiver/jokes.htm":
"A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal"?"


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Severian on August 27, 2012, 10:42:41 PM

more like

the 1st law of Economic...  for every economist there is an equal and opposite economist

the 2nd law o economics..  they are both most likely wrong

Ben and Paul, two economists, are walking down the street. They see a pile of dogshit.

Ben says to Paul, "I'll give you $5000 if you eat that dogshit."

Paul chokes it down and gets paid. They continue on their walk.

They see another pile of dogshit. Paul says to Ben, "I'll give you $5000 if you eat that dogshit."

Ben chokes it down and gets paid. They continue on their walk.

After a couple of blocks, Paul says to Ben, "You realize we just ate dogshit."

Ben says, "But we initiated $10,000 in trade."


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: niko on August 30, 2012, 05:46:05 AM

"Say you have two cows:

In capitalism your boss butchers them both for profit, live rich a while and then you all starve next year.

In communism the government takes your cows and give you half their milk.

In a democracy the two other guys vote for you doing all the work and getting 1/4 of the milk.

In a theocracy you sacrifice your cows to your god and starve to death while praying all day.

In Africa you neglect your two cows to death and get three new and better ones in foreign aid.

In a bureaucracy the government milks one of them, shoots the other and then pours the milk on the ground."

Social:
You have two cows, your neighbor none.  You feel bad because you work successfully. You elect people that Tax your cows heavily. That forces you to sell one of your cows. The people you voted for take the money from your taxes buy your cow and give it to you neighbor.

Liberal:
You have two cows, you neighbor none. ...So what?

US-American:
You sell one cow and lease it back. You form a cooperation. Now you force both cows to give the triple amount of milk. One of the cows dies due to you treatment. You hold a press conference announcing that you have halved you costs. You stocks skyrocket.

Japanese:
You have two cows. You create a manga called cowminton and publish it wordwide. You make millions.

German:
You two cows show up on their own on exactly the same time each day, giving exactly the same amount of milk in perfect quality. Sadly your cows want 13 Weeks of holiday a year.

Italian:
You are pretty sure you have two cows, but you canít find them. While searching for them you see a beautiful woman. Life is great.

French:
You have two cows. You strike because you want to have three cows.

Swiss:
You have 5000 cows. None is yours but you get paid from their owners for keeping them.


New Zealand:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks attractive.


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: bitcoinbear on September 06, 2012, 04:49:28 PM
Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah - he floated his stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation!


Title: Re: Bring your best economic jokes
Post by: Raize on September 07, 2012, 06:35:04 PM
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being processed, he passed a room where an economist he knew was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman.

"What a crummy deal!" The man complained. "I have to burn for all eternity and that economist spends it with that gorgeous woman."

An escorting demon jabs the man with his pitchfork and shouts, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"