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I work as a secretary in a law firm and often times I have to go to the court to file cases of divorce. You find out that during the time my boss will try to resolve the dispute or disagreement between the couples, you will begin to hear and see all sorts of insults and abuses from both parties. I just cant stop imagining how two people who claimed to be in love with each are now their own enemies. What are those factors that could result to such irreconcilable differences? Your creative inputs is highly welcome.

Because for women , the goal has been achieved ie , getting the man to put the ring on the finger. The chase is done. My experience?

I have seen my friends and neighbours get married and it happens to them.

For the guys , normally the women takes HALF of his assets. I'm sorry but if that doesn't make you want to swear and scream , then idk whats wrong with you.

Marriage is prostitution. Any rational male if reviewing marriage will see that it is not in his benefits but only the woman.

I think one of the partners is not professing genuine love from the onset, hence when he or she is tired of the game, problems arises. Other reasons maybe that of high expectation from one of the parties and when the expectations are not met, the partner becomes unhappy and the value of the union begins to reduce to what is now term as irreconcilable differences.

There are so many factors why violent exist among married couple,
Stress,Problem's and maybe cheating this could be the reason why one of them would be violent to their partner.

It seems to me that each case is unique, but speaking generally, I think that the main reason is when people do not come together for true love. People often do not know what true love is, and many do not know about this all their lives. They may feel affection or dependence on a partner, but not love. They may misunderstand what this means at all. People may like the appearance of another person, but not everyone can feel the soul of a person. Appearance disappears, and with the soul of a person you have to live your whole life. Unfortunately, this happens very often when people choose the wrong person from the very beginning.

Different countries have different legislation's regarding divorce. In USA woman  take half while it's different in ME countries.
The main reason for violence is lack of patience and tolerance in both man and woman. Marriage is only seen as a way of doing legitimate sex but in reality it's a way a living, where you have to live and bear each other.

I too work as a clerk in a local court. And the number of divorces are definitely on an increase.
Each and every of individual cases are different from one another but there are some trends that can be generalized.
People nowadays have less patience and they don't want to compromise a bit. Couples used to compromise a lot to save their relationship in the past.
Another thing is there are no long distance relationship anymore. When couples need to stay away from each other for study or work, they tend to look for a new partner more than in the past. And have a divorce to start the new relationship.

The main reason why most married men and women see a violent existence is because of a lack of understanding between the two. Because everything has its problems both have to work on purpose. Many times, this problem can be seen if their needs and expectations are not fully met Many others are cheated and victimized That is why it is possible to avoid anything if both of these father's bullets work properly.

I agree,  it depends on the country because in some country like philippines is not that easy to file a divorce. Actually most of the reason why they want it is because of jealousy or sometimes pride.  There are also instances of getting bored with each other, yes it is possible. In fact when you get into marriage it must be for a lifetime vow that you will be together in good and in bad times.

You'll realize that when you are married.

To give you an idea is that hearts change over time. My father always says that the more money a married couple have their love grows more. But base on my experience, the issues are related to in-laws that keeps interfering with decisions that is suppose to be between you and your partner only such as buying house. 3rd party is the worse.

They picked the wrong person. Then only later they realize that the person is abusive to the point of physically being violent. This is why I'm fine with couples cohabitating for a while. That way you get to see what the person is once he/she is already comfortable with you and believe he/she already own you.


At this point they are basically just on a lease from the government. They're the State's agent for collecting money. Deploy them against a man, get the money, the state gets a cut. Thank you, next.

Most of this sht comes from their families. They don't know better and act accordingly to what they experienced and witnessed during their childhood. Marriage is a burden in some sence, but it's highly rewarding if managed properly. If you don't want to change yourself and blame your partner for everything (which everybody does to some extent), it's a dead end.

Violence can occur between married men and women for myriads of reasons. Most of the reasons are societal in nature and also based on mismatch of expectations. Incompetency of men or women to provide to the family could also be the reason for the tuffle. Also, there are few peronal desires that dont get fulfilled once you are married , that can be another reason leading to agitation between the couple.

I agree with you that you are right in saying that they get this behavior from the family but also it is not just the family's fault but some of their own fault Married men and women have violence because they lack understanding That is why you must correct your mistakes first without blaming others.

Because they're hurt and are not in love anymore? Seriously, I've never seen such pettiness from both sides than when a relationship ends but it's done because at least one of the parties got emotionally hurt and they now want to hurt the other person in any way they can.

I like the phrase there ain't no enemy like an ex-best friend because it's true. There usually has to be a bond that has been broken or a trust that has been abused to turn someone so sour and make them actively hate or dislike the person. Most people would just move on and forget about it if some arsehole said something to you on the street even if it was hurtful, but it probably hurts a lot more but when it's an (ex-)friend or (ex-)partner and people seem to take that much more personally and to heart.


If it doesn't have any benefits for the male then why would males get married? There clearly is benefits because it wouldn't happen otherwise and 99% of the time it's men that propose. Don't get married if there's no benefits to you. All marriage is in most cases is a ring and a bit of paper so it is worthless in most cases and I wouldn't suggest it.

I think that the couple have reached the breaking point whereas they can no longer tolerate each others indifference's. Divorces are usually one sided with either the man wanting the divorce or the woman. Rarely do they both truly want a divorce, but it does happen. The reason for getting married in the first place has died off slowly over time like a ticking time bomb that was eventually going to blow.  50 or 60 years ago family values held different meaning, that is why you can find elderly couples who have been together for 40 or 50 years strong but today the values have drastically changed as well as gender roles within society. Days are almost gone were the man is the sole bread winner of the family, women are becoming more independent from men, and higher divorce rates are occurring.
   It isn't till you start living with your lover that the dirty laundry starts to pour out and you start seeing each others stupid bad habits. I think in today's society people are better off not getting married. In ancient times marriages were strategic based on positions of power hardly ever base on affection and love.

They have their own reason maybe they've get full from their relationship and sometimes there are man or women who get something bad that can't be carry by their partner who cause for the breaking of its trust.

Financial situation of their family is the most important reason for dispute airse between a loving couple when they start realizing they can't buy food with their true love. :D

Thats very true. I feel as if in a seminar with you where you are one of the speakers. Your point is very educating.Many times we do not understand what love is. we see it as feeling in a way and feeling do come and go. you may decide to feel different or meet someone that you feel better for.

Thats is deep. "to live and to bear each other" I wish we would understand this. marriage has lost its value. people make vow and all of a sudden forget about it.

This happens because they don't know each other well enough. They get married while they're intoxicated, in love. When you're in this first stage you cannot think straight and you don't want to show your true nature. When your loved one wants something you agree without thinking. Let's go shopping - sure, let's buy a new car - sure, let's eat out- sure, leave work early - sure!

Then it's -let's go to my parents for Christmas -no let's go to my parents! -But I don't like your mother! -She doesn't like you too!  ;D

I have seen that most women tend to verbally abuse their husbands in relationships and men are not able to respond in such a manner and they mostly resort to beating up their wives as a result. Most physical abuse also come from the consumption of alcohol. Some people tend to become violent and aggressive when they consume alcohol.