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Other => Off-topic => Topic started by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 07:32:04 PM



Title: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 07:32:04 PM
Basically the title says it all. I'm looking for someone gullible enough to buy my bridge. Two bridges. One is made by Amish people and the other is the Brooklyn bridge.

Just contact me when you find someone, thanks.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: finkleshnorts on July 29, 2012, 07:33:46 PM
Let me guess... this bridge is 100% insured.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: Taz on July 29, 2012, 07:48:40 PM
Do you accept Tazcoin?


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 08:39:37 PM
Let me guess... this bridge is 100% insured.
I can provide insurance for a premium of 50% on the face value of the bridge. You won't get the premium back if you destroy the bridge, but you will get the bridge's face value back. I will also charge a small 14% weekly commission on any income you gain from the bridge.

So yes, if you pay me 150% of the sale price, then the bridge's face value will be 100% insured, provided I get commission.

Insurance is completely optional.

Do you accept Tazcoin?
Only if there is a service such as Taz-Pay which will convert Tazcoins to USD for me automatically.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 09:36:03 PM
Update on the Brooklyn Bridge!

Adjusted for inflation, the Brooklyn Bridge is about a $300 million asset. Due to its reputable name, historical value, and the fact that 27 people died while building it, I'd like a 40% premium. So, shall we say 420 million USD? It is currently bringing in about 20.3 million per week, despite it not having any tolls.

Update on the Amish-made bridge!
Just thought I'd update you buyer-seekers with some specs. It is entirely made by Amish people, so that's got to be worth something. It's 14 feet long, Cedar floor, Victorian-style, with a railing. It ships from PA and runs for only $1400 plus shipping :o


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: ZodiacDragon84 on July 29, 2012, 09:57:41 PM
Quote
Update on the Amish-made bridge!
Just thought I'd update you buyer-seekers with some specs. It is entirely made by Amish people, so that's got to be worth something. It's 14 feet long, Cedar floor, Victorian-style, with a railing. It ships from PA and runs for only $1400 plus shipping :o

Is that shipping for the Amish to come to Nebraska and build the bridge for me, or is it for the bridge to be dismantled and shipped to me? If it is the latter, can I opt to have the aforementioned amish shipped with the bridge to rebuild it after shipping?


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: Raoul Duke on July 29, 2012, 10:11:12 PM
Do you have any vampire-princess-made bridge for sale?


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: mc_lovin on July 29, 2012, 10:31:29 PM
accept escrow? :)


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 10:34:57 PM
Do you have any vampire-princess-made bridge for sale?
Not to my knowledge. There might be a vampire-princess-Amish woman in Lancaster, but I have no way of knowing if the bridge was made by this hypothetical person.
accept escrow? :)
Yes. Shipping is not available for the Brooklyn bridge, so the escrow agent will need to come to NY to verify that it's still there.
Quote
Update on the Amish-made bridge!
Just thought I'd update you buyer-seekers with some specs. It is entirely made by Amish people, so that's got to be worth something. It's 14 feet long, Cedar floor, Victorian-style, with a railing. It ships from PA and runs for only $1400 plus shipping :o

Is that shipping for the Amish to come to Nebraska and build the bridge for me, or is it for the bridge to be dismantled and shipped to me? If it is the latter, can I opt to have the aforementioned amish shipped with the bridge to rebuild it after shipping?
It will be shipped in a minimal number of pieces and you will not need to do any assembly.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: Taz on July 29, 2012, 11:22:29 PM
Do you accept Tazcoin?
Only if there is a service such as Taz-Pay which will convert Tazcoins to USD for me automatically.

Sure, just reach into my pocket here, a little to the left.

On a serious note, I have concerns about doing business with the Amish.
They won't return any of my emails. Could be trouble makers.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 11:29:34 PM
Do you accept Tazcoin?
Only if there is a service such as Taz-Pay which will convert Tazcoins to USD for me automatically.

Sure, just reach into my pocket here, a little to the left.

On a serious note, I have concerns about doing business with the Amish.
They won't return any of my emails. Could be trouble makers.
No problem, I already have the bridge. If you find a buyer, please tell me. Brooklyn bridge is also still available for the bargain price of $420M, and you don't even need to be high to buy it! (Although I encourage getting prospective buyers high before pitching the deal to them)


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: rjk on July 29, 2012, 11:42:12 PM
Will you take care of getting all those annoying commuters and pedestrians off my Brooklyn Bridge when I pull the purchase? I can't be bothered to deal with such things before arranging it the way I like with the rest of my curio collection.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 11:54:50 PM
Yes, I believe that can be arranged.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: jojo69 on July 29, 2012, 11:55:14 PM
A question;

what is the annual maintenance cost on that Brooklyn bridge you have for sale?


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 29, 2012, 11:58:02 PM
A question;

what is the annual maintenance cost on that Brooklyn bridge you have for sale?
It's really nothing compared to the amount it brings in. Besides, we've finished the $508 million project to rehabilitate the approach ramps to the Brooklyn Bridge, so you're really getting an amazing deal at $420M.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: EnergyVampire on July 30, 2012, 12:08:02 AM
A question;

what is the annual maintenance cost on that Brooklyn bridge you have for sale?
It's really nothing compared to the amount it brings in. Besides, we've finished the $508 million project to rehabilitate the approach ramps to the Brooklyn Bridge, so you're really getting an amazing deal at $420M.

How much does this bridge have in annual revenues? The exact number isn't necessary because we wouldn't want you to reveal trade secrets but are revenues comparable to the Holland Tunnel?

By the way, will you accept PayPal?


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: Taz on July 30, 2012, 12:12:19 AM
What constitutes a bridge?
How do I know I'm not getting two planks from the underside, stuck together with goat's blood?


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: nimda on July 30, 2012, 12:15:50 AM
A question;

what is the annual maintenance cost on that Brooklyn bridge you have for sale?
It's really nothing compared to the amount it brings in. Besides, we've finished the $508 million project to rehabilitate the approach ramps to the Brooklyn Bridge, so you're really getting an amazing deal at $420M.

How much does this bridge have in annual revenues? The exact number isn't necessary cause we wouldn't want you to reveal trade secrets but are revenues comparable to the Holland Tunnel?

By the way, will you accept PayPal?
As I stated earlier, it is currently bringing in about 20.3 million per week, despite it not having any tolls.

I do not accept PayPal because of the 3% fee. 3% of $420M is 12.6 Million USD. That is unacceptable for the merchant, and it is also unreasonable to ask the buyer to foot this fee.
What constitutes a bridge?
How do I know I'm not getting two planks from the underside, stuck together with goat's blood?
If you read the OP, I'm actually asking you to help me find someone gullible enough to buy a bridge. However, I can provide pictures of both bridges.


Title: Re: So I've got this bridge to sell
Post by: Al the Alpaca on July 30, 2012, 03:56:45 AM
I represent the Wendon Bridge Group and will be the acting liaison between both parties to finalize the sale of the Amish bridge, formally known as The Yoderica Bridge. I first met Isaac Yoder in the lobby of the Oberoi Hotel in Mumbai, India, whereupon he proved to be an admirable fellow. The following image is of said lobby, thus proving that the transaction was executed.

http://asiatravelmag.com/photos/asian-hotels/images/121/425x290.aspx

All investor's money will be held by Yoderica Consultancy and store in the following safe.

http://www.ohiohomedecor.com/upload/images/products/primitive_country/pie_safe_IMG_3616a.jpg

~Al (Seale) the Alpaca~

Al Sealica LLC

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2021/2448700401_7a9c72e2e2.jpg