I'm not giving my DNA to the feds. It took long enough to make them delete my SSN - why would I want them to be able to clone me?!

There is no justice in a world where governments steal the sweat of a man's brow.

I'm passing on a message from a somethingsmellsawful forum member:

You sound amazingly like a shill.

It all started when I was 17. I remember that it was a hot summer; the crickets were chirping and dad hadn’t beaten me for a few days. He did that sometimes, when he was drunk and I’d been a worthless parasite. I tried hard in school but even so I was still leeching off him. Knowing that made me feel worthless, because it is the strong man who provides for the weak and I was weak. His fists were not violent, it was my impotent sloth that was violent, my lack of industry that forced my father to pay the bills. Such violence is not compassion.

I hope one day to be the man that my father is, the man that he dreamed that I could be. I’ll show him my strength and then he will love me.

It was almost time for the robot championships - we’d placed in the top 50th percentile last year - and I’d spent weeks sketching designs. Tall robots; squat robots; robots to catch and robots to throw; robots with a thousand dongs, each hanging from a hundred other dongs, each dong whirling like a throbbing dervish. The latter was to give the coup de grâce to my demoralised enemies, an android teabagging if you will.

Clem came round that morning. I clearly remember the excitement in her face as she opened his laptop - bought for her by her parents, the leech - and started a strange program. She was shaking a little, and since father blocked the air conditioning vents in my room, she was sweating slightly from the heat.

One day I will marry Clem, if she remains pure and finds a suitable job with good benefits. I could never marry a lesser creature, one of the unclean. “What Would Ayn Do?” was my motto and I strove to meet her expectations, at least so far as I understood them. We’d never touched, for she was not of that type, but I knew we had a quiet, unvoiced connection. She could be mine if I truly asked.

Confused by her awkward excitement, I stammered my bewilderment. “What is it?”

“It’s amazing! My brother showed me. You run this program and it makes Chuck E. Cheese coupons or something.” Still excited, her face was tinged with uncertainty. Was it: will he like it? Or perhaps: do I even know what I am talking about? That had never stopped us before, not when we started the Objectivist Lunch Table, nor when we threw those rocks at old Mr. Gillard when he put that Local 602 sticker on his car. His VFW buddies had chased us but we knew we were in the right. We knew.

I showed her my teeth as mother had taught me, trying to calm Clem from her agitation. The program beeped a successful note and something popped onscreen about blocks. My father had never given me any blocks as a child. I’d resorted to carving some from the cheddar that the government had given me after my emancipation. My father had been so proud to emancipate me: he’d called it my 10th birthday present, a coming of age and the beginning of my long road to manhood. I was no longer dependent upon him, for he’d passed me off to society at large.

“What happened?”
“We just mined a bitcoin!”
“A what?”
“It’s really cool! It’s like money except on a computer. You can’t buy anything with it, of course, because no one gives a shit and it’s completely pointless but my brother says that it will change the world.”

I spent the next week frantically searching online. On the third day I made a fantastic discovery: a program called Google that lets me look for things. It was like going to the library and bugging Mrs. Rudd to show me where the von Mises biographies were but without the blank look and the awkward shuffling away. It found things! I found things! Bitcoin was a revolution and I was going to be at the forefront, blasting aside the old order of tax violence and oppression and replacing it with a new world of poorly regulated currency, volatility, child pornography, poverty, fraud, and smug ignorance! Bitcoin was the answer!

My heart raced and I blacked out. An hour? Two hours? When I awoke, I was naked from the waist down and my thighs were sticky. Someone had drawn my secret dongbot design on the floorboards and my mouth tasted of garlic. I pulled myself unsteadily to my feet - I had to stop wasting time, for a new day was dawning.

When I hear "Bitcoin Pride" I picture a bunch of fat hairy nerds in rainbow outfits marching down the street to Donna Summers songs. Might want to rethink that.

Good lord. You're calling other people stupid but you come across as borderline illiterate.

Your misogyny is strangely compelling. Please do go on.

You must be a very lonely man.

...because there's no one there?

True! They had 100% reliability until they ran off with everyone's BTC.

Also, hiding something under a brick in the park is more secure than MTGOX.

It really doesn't matter what legal gibberish you can spout or what your briefs say, any judge is simply going to look at it, not understand any of it, and tell you to get out of his court room before he fines you for contempt. You may think you're a legal expert but this is how that sort of esoteric technology is handled in a court that deals in fiat money and physical property.

I just googled and found a section called "The Horrors of

OH GOD WHAT AM I SEEING

They do movie reviews? I thought that was just a troll site full of channers or something. I need to go look.

Is there anyone on this board that you don't think is a troll? You seem rather paranoid.

Wonder how many coins from mybitcoin will go through something like this.

Interesting. I've never seen a forum give regular users permission to do that before.

You'd have to be crazy to go to the police or a lawyer over this. Any judge or copper is - at best - just going to ask you what you're jabbering on about.

Anyone suggesting lawsuits or prosecution is weird.