Hello

Long story short. Spent the last three years going full maniac on the faucets and had almost all the Satoshi earned sent to my Bitcoin Core wallet. Couple days ago tried to empty the wallet which had a balance of 0.404. I just wanted to get it offline and on paper for safety.   Before this ordeal I had never heard of "Bitcoin Dust" or "blockchain spam."  I totally understand now why my transactions are in limbo. As you can see by the last transaction I tried to make I boosted up the fee to what at the time I thought was a ungodly amount of 0.015. When that one didn't go through is when my heart sank into my gut.  If anyone can help me I'll gladly fork over some crypto. Seeing three years of work stuck in limbo is killing my morale.

Here goes

Status: 0/unconfirmed, in memory pool
Date: 5/24/2017 02:20
To: 19Sn4xNRzjCW1TAZCUH5eRoLeDeGtQRx59
Debit: -0.01200000 BTC
Transaction fee: -0.00033390 BTC
Net amount: -0.01233390 BTC
Transaction ID: 58dd09a83204e092a38c172677759c0afe4365e6cb48be30ff0d91db5ef9bc89
Output index: 0


Status: 0/unconfirmed, in memory pool
Date: 5/24/2017 02:48
To: 19Sn4xNRzjCW1TAZCUH5eRoLeDeGtQRx59
Debit: -0.01300000 BTC
Transaction fee: -0.00089120 BTC
Net amount: -0.01389120 BTC
Transaction ID: df0742c68b2c19ea9f1d967644bae6bfc158f4007de34c8e53a79b1b6ce0740c
Output index: 0

Status: 0/unconfirmed, in memory pool
Date: 5/24/2017 04:25
To: 1JViNQHShqisDanjNijjG7wmyCJH5BR5Hr
Debit: -0.02000000 BTC
Transaction fee: -0.00214200 BTC
Net amount: -0.02214200 BTC
Transaction ID: 1711cdd6a93d4cf4321f520b52e5a466975693a445bdb87c40750e6931759fd3
Output index: 0

Status: 0/unconfirmed, in memory pool, broadcast through 17 node(s)
Date: 5/24/2017 13:00
To: 1M4JpPMxCrrMBq9d7nneHHQeqA3R5MgXbi
Debit: -0.28000000 BTC
Transaction fee: -0.01598002 BTC
Net amount: -0.29598002 BTC
Transaction ID: fd5cfd938d8baf25fc8252986c38fbf4dd5d0d82ef015cfd3bbc14f734d42490
Output index: 0

Have been waiting almost two hours now.   

Transaction fee: -0.00154538 BTC
Net amount: -0.02395138 BTC