I've finally got my node running stable, here's the settings I've got.

environment variable:

setx MALLOC_ARENA_MAX 1


bitcoin.conf:

maxconnections=40
rpcthreads=100
blockmaxsize=640000
minrelaytxfee=0.00005
mintxfee=0.00005
limitfreerelay=5

edit:

Looks like I've only extended the period before my node crashes and burns.  

edit2:

I'm compiling bitcoin from the github source, maybe this might work...

edit3:

*yawn* I guess I'll come back some time in 2017 when this has completed...

edit4:

This boost library is massive...

I've added rpcthreads=100 to my bitcoin.conf in an attempt to fight the latest DoS strategy against my node, so-far-so-good. If you're getting constant "lost contact with bitcoind" messages this might help.