They’re Made Out of Meat
From the collection:
Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories
by Terry Bisson

"They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“There’s no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.”

“That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?”

“They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.”

“So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.”

“They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient meat.”

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they’re made out of meat.”

“Maybe they’re like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage.”

“Nope. They’re born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn’t take long. Do you have any idea what’s the life span of meat?”

“Spare me. Okay, maybe they’re only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside.”

“Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through.”

“No brain?”

“Oh, there’s a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“So . . . what does the thinking?”

“You’re not understanding, are you? You’re refusing to deal with what I’m telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat.”

“Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!”

“Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?”

“Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat.”

“Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they’ve been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years.”

“Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?”

“First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual.”

“We’re supposed to talk to meat.”

“That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there? Anybody home?’ That sort of thing.”

“They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?”

“Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.”

“I thought you just told me they used radio.”

“They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.”

“Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?”

“Officially or unofficially?”

“Both.”

“Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing.”

“I was hoping you would say that.”

“It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?”

“I agree one hundred percent. What’s there to say? ‘Hello, meat. How’s it going?’ But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?”

“Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can’t live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact.”

“So we just pretend there’s no one home in the Universe.”

“That’s it.”

“Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You’re sure they won’t remember?”

“They’ll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we’re just a dream to them.”

“A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat’s dream.”

“And we marked the entire sector unoccupied.”

“Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?”

“Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen-core cluster intelligence in a class-nine star in G445 zone was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again.”

“They always come around.”

“And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone . . . ”

Ok, that's what I suspected. Missing data for previous transactions. All good, all good.

Thanks!

I only started 2 days ago, so no interest yet.

But all the fields, Payments, Deposits and Withdrawals are empty, and I suppose that at least my initial deposit should be showing up on the Deposits, yet it's not, only shows up at the top of the page, right beside my username.

After I log in all I see at the top of the page is the ammount i sent to the address, 250BTC, which is correct, altho it doesn't appear in the deposits area, is that right?

Also, please, a change password page. You sent the password on an unsecure channel and I would like to change it.

I got one package of them today, brought to my door by the postman.

Damn, this will be the most profitable day in the history of bitcoin miners so far.

hmmm... Satoshi Nakamoto acid blotter art, can't wait for it!

Loan has been repayed, in fact it was overpaid by 0.19BTC in the total of 17.19BTC.
Jack Rabiit, please post a Bitcoin address so I can send you those 0.19BTC that have been overpaid.
Was a pleasure doing business with you.

Thanks for the smooth deal

-psy

Holly SHIT! OBAMA IS THE MANIPULATOR!
That or this thread went completely off-topic...

Most retarded forum administration ever, that's for sure. They might be very clever on programming or some other thing, but they understand shit about life or how to manage a forum. I would risk to say that they need to get out of their moms' basement more often.

FTFY

Nobody cares about what you say. Keep licking BCxs' balls, I suppose HE likes it a lot!

My country?? lol I'm not from the US. Nor did I say I agreed with their stupid laws...

Thanks a lot for your corteous answer. It was exactly the answer I was expecting.
Once again BCX is spreading FUD... lol

So, do tell us which exchange was it that paying 1000BTC to drop an alt-chain worked for you in the past.
I'm sure we all want to know which exchange is it. Maybe someone is willing to offer them more money than you did...

Everything! Couldn't understand what you wanted to say...

U mad?  Or is it that the only persons around here that can start smear campaigns are you and BitchcoinEXpress??

I asked a reasonable question and so far I only got an answer from an angry clown, and I clearly asked Crypto X Change, not an angry clown... not good enough, I need more!

Well, this was confusing... 

The only clown here is you. Are you Crypto X Changes' lawyer to speak on their behalf?

I don't want to get them on any side...
Just want to know which of the following is true:
a) Crypto X change lied
or
b) BCX is lying(again)

You are not Crypto X change, so what you say doesn't really matter.
BCX already said he paid them, now it's time for Crypto X Change to speak up.
Who's the liar? Who is it that is trying to look like respectable and isn't, that's what I want to know, and I bet most of Crypto X Change customers would also like to know what type of company they are dealing with.

You said it was a problem with something else, now BCX comes and say he paid you...
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=53595.msg638992#msg638992

That speaks a lot about your integrity... Especially because you were asked about it and instead of saying you got paid you just said it was other reasons...