First of all.
Hello everyone! I just joined!

So I'm completely new to BitCoins, but I've made up my mind to get money from them. I'm wondering exactly what I'll have to do. So I have a few questions...

1.) What is the best mining program? (ASIC compatible?)
2.) What is the best free guild?
3.) My computer is a steaming pile of you-know-what, that won't affect my ASIC will it?
4.) How hard is setting it up?
5.) Should I get a 'secure' BTC wallet?
6.) Did I miss anything? 

Okay so if you answered any of those, thanks a lot!

Now here is a scenario... Just tell me everything I got wrong, if it's not too much trouble. And if something will be really hard. (I'm what I'd call tech-savy, but not a genius)

I make an MtGox account and link it to my bank for selling.
I make a BitCoin wallet. (secure?)
I download the GPU miner of my choice.
I get the Jalapeno.
I install the software, plug it into the wall and my computer.
Somehow link it to my BitCoin wallet and GPU miner? (hard?)

That about right?
Thanks so much everyone! Now I can finally go to sleep.