wow, thank you everyone.
It's definitely still really confusing for me: I'm googling like every other word/phrase (split key address, .dat, etc) so this is like learning a new language in terms of terminology AND functionality. I really appreciate all the replies and will continue reading/researching.
This is the best approach to take IMO. Create a few paper wallets, send a few cents to them and practice importing it on Blockchain.info
Once you understand how it works, then go ahead and store your funds on them