any kids out there read this (bad grammar and all)...
Around early 2000 i found gambling online. At first i would just buy a giftcard and play at some online casino and if i lost it, that was that for awhile. Well... before i realized it i became a full blown addict. Our family had a shared bank account and it was normal for me to make it go in the negative. I hurt my family very badly. I always told myself i was trying to win money for the family to try and justify it. See, my mother was bed-ridden as she was always very sick so i wanted to buy her nice things so she would have something to do. however, again, that was trying to justify it.
Years went on and i never stopped. I put so much extra stress on my mother. She was already dealing with my "father" who was very mentally abusive. A real scumbag he was. I kept telling my mother i would quit and she believed me most of the time. She would always stick up for me when money went missing as when that happened my father had a real, real mean streak. She would take all the abuse for me, always.
About 1.5 years ago my mother was getting worse. She was in the hospital for about 5 months once. When she came back one of the first things i said to her was "can you fill out this id verification form for me, it's for a sportsbook as i have enough to cash out, i'm working on getting that kindle you wanted". Things were back to normal for those 3 days she was home. i was back to betting sports and ignoring everyone else. Well, on a Saturday morning i went down stairs to see if she needed anything and asking her to cover up some of my recent withdraws i took out of the bank. It was always about me, no one else. In a blink of an eye she told me she could not breathe and she passed away. Those were my last words to my mother, asking her to hide my spending. I called 911 and they revived her but her brain was dead. We had to pull the plug 11 days later. She was only 60.
Gambling ruined my life. I'm almost 40. I now live with my brother. I never will have a family of my own as i would do the same thing to my family. I still gamble. I play for literally pennies of bitcoin and i can not even afford that. I go days without eating so i have money to gamble with. No one talks to me in real life as why would they? i'm beyond a loser and i bet they think i would ask for money. I never stole or scammed etc. from once friends or online. No, i did something worse; i stole from my family. For the last very painful years of my mothers life she lived poor because of me.
I know this is hard to read due to grammar, sorry. Also, this is the internet so i expect to be judged or laughed at. That's fine. I made this post as on bitcoin talk there are a lot of naive kids. Maybe if some bother to read this it will maybe stop them from taken the path i had chosen.
That's it.
Actually for me i was controlled myself in gambling. Even some time it does says me to do it again because i won like x5 times for my initial deposit. But after that profit i didn't play it again, i just cashed out. Its now like 2 yrs or something i stopped gambling. I know it never settle you down..lose..win..lose..it goes this way. Once you get addicted to it, It will ruin your life. Your mind will be always into it. You couldn't able to concentrate on anything. I was thinking on getting into it again. But from reading your story never again
..Sorry for your losses.
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