one of my really old drives fell to the floor i am not sure if it broke as it works fine with just a raw read error but recuva found 100 000 files in including bitcoin files and a wallet.dat file so i recovered it but electrum can't open it which means it is likely corrupted but i tried to open it here and got both private keys and a private adresses https://privatekeys.pw/wallet-parser/bitcoin/

so to be sure if the file was corrupted it wouldn't actually show these? as i don't want to lose sleep over this.

So, to begin i have depression a pretty severe one and i had it since 2006, the last couple of years i have lost everything from my income to multiple chances i've been given, nothing ever goes right in my life ever any more and it hasn't since 2013 it's been a pure nightmare that i don't know if i can live with much longer, i yesterday found out that i visited a bitcoin website in 2011, this made my heart sink and i can't find anything to make me cope with that fact, i was a kid back then so i didn't have alot of money so at most i could have realistically bought bitcoin for 100 dollars, and thats over 100 million dollars today, i don't know how i can cope with that thought, so i wonder how is anyone else coping with it, or even those who sold off their bitcoin before the value increased like this, because i am going through multiple severe panic attacks from this now, i am trying to convince myself that i couldn't have bought any back then, wheather it would be for the difficulty buying it or any other reason but i can't find anything that would have prevented me from buying them back then, if it was something as simple as being really complicated to buy it then i could have told myself nothing i would have done back then would have changed the outcome, because i would have never been able to buy them, but from googling it it was extremely easy to buy, so i could have easily bought them back then, i did invest in things back then i bought several windows 7 dvds from ebay which ofcourse were false, i was hoping i could sell them off, i was like 18 at the time.

this is the website i visited in 2011 according to my google search history

https://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=16361.0

i have no idea what that contained because the link no longer works.

at this point i am researching drugs to numb myself, i go through  pain every single day including suicidal thoughts, but i do not know how i can live with this knowledge right here, if i were to count how many times i was close to getting rich or wealthy it would be well over 10 times.