I read an article that detailed how DOGE cost of maintenance is higher than any other coin. I don't know how credible it was, but the gist of the passage is that because so many DOGEcoins come into existence so quickly, the coin will basically be fighting crippling inflation all the way up.

But even as I type that I'm not sure I believe it.
It was written by a Quark supporter after all

Watch the Amazon sales of those cookies skyrocket lol! I can hardly resist myself...

Yeah because you can sign a message to prove you aren't someone.

Listen you might be sarcastic but unfortunately I've seen dumber things on this forum, so.

My theory is Satoshi is an alien

You can try to re-spend the output.  Send it to another address that you control and include a fee large enough to compensate miners for both transactions.

If any miners have implemented the "child pays for parent" concept, they may confirm both transactions at once to get the fee from the second transaction.

Honestly, I don't think any mining pools have implemented the concept yet.  I really think they should.  It would provide increased income for the pool and would solve problems like this.

"...be fearful when others are greedy and greedy only when others are fearful."
Warren Buffet

In other words: Be greedy now!