Last week the bitcoin fairy appeared above my bed and said in a voice that sounded slightly annoyed: "I cannot give you three wishes because I'm not a traditional fairy, I'm the bitcoin fairy. It's quite unfair, I think: the other bitches get to grant 3 wishes and all I can do is beam you naked to a destination of your choosing with 1000 bitcoins salvaged from lost keys in your brainwallet for the duration of one week, at which point you'll be beamed back to your bed. So please tell me you know what bitcoins are and that are willing to go and where you wish to be transported."
Just when I was going to answer: "wow, this is cool, I'll go to some village in India", I saw a sequence from a star trek movie: the part where enterprise goes to warp drive. Just when I realized shit was probably real it stopped and I saw above my head in huge letters which seemed to be made of starlight: 'key: sha256("thebitcoinfairyrulez")'. After that faded away I came to realize people where looking at me and covering their childrens eyes. It seemed as though I was indeed in a terribly poor looking village, that I assumed was in India.
I stood there completely confused and utterly dumbfounded for who knows how long. At first I didn't think any of it was real. Then I heard a loud squeal behind me, it sounded like someone stabbing a pig. I nearly fell to the ground I turned so fast. Instead of being greeted by a pig massacre I was instead greeted by the finger of a young child pointing accusingly at me. Suddenly the doors of the few huts opened and out poured a dozen men and women. They didn't seem threatening but they did seem very interested in me and I tried to cover myself with my hands, but I failed miserably.
The first problem I found out was not that I was about to be arrested for being naked, but that I couldn't understand anything anyone said. Still It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize what to do with the ragged pair of shorts one of the older women handed me. I had a sinking feeling that they were very interested in how I had got there. Eventually I ended up sleeping in a small hut with three other men, two who were only just boys. The villagers were really quite nice once they decided that I didn't mean any harm, and probably not very threatening showing up naked.
The next morning I woke up and was fed breakfast...a small bowl of a scant amount of rice. It was so little I felt embarrassed eating it, but I couldn't insult them by refusing. So instead I ate as little as I could and snuck most of it to a little boy who was sitting beside me.
The rest of the morning I spent being an attraction to all the children. I didn't really mind their chatter but it was exhausting having them climb all over me. That was when a old pickup pulled up into the village.
The driver was a young man but more importantly his passenger spoke English. I didn't really know what to say, anything about bitcoins or fairys would sound crazy. So I just lied and told him that I had no memory of getting there or anything that happened, but I did remember who I was and if it was possible if I could get a computer to contact my family.
So that was how I ended up in the only town for miles with a bank. The trucks passenger had the villages bank account and I had told him I could get them some money if they would take care of me while I tried to figure out what I was going to do. So with the old laptop I setup a ewallet from blockchain and looked up fastcash4coins and had a wire setup for all 1000 coins.
We stayed the night in some old man's house who seemed friendly enough, until he smiled. I just kept quiet and observed everything the best I could. The next morning was spent looking in the market apparently we were there to buy what food we could because the villages crops had all failed and there was hardly any food anywhere. The market had what seemed to me enough food for a lot of people but no one had any money to buy it.
With a pitiful bag of rice in the bed of the truck we stopped back at the bank. The wire had indeed gone through and the man was looking at me like I was crazy. He wanted to know if he could indeed spend the money. I told him as long as they took care of me the money was theirs. It was with high spirits we filled the back of the truck with all kinds of food and drove back to the village.
It was a really good party that night, and the next night too. Everyone seemed so excited and they seemed to be planning all kinds of things. New huts, new crops, cloth for the women to work with, and all kinds of things I'm sure I missed. By the end of the week the population of the village had doubled as all the villagers seemed to call in family members to help them do work. It was quite amazing to me to see it all unfold.
Suddenly I had a strange feeling, and I looked up. There was the bitcoin fairy. She was smiling and nodded to me. I got up and said my goodbyes to all the villagers and told them I would be leaving in the morning for home. When I woke up the next morning I was indeed in my own bed again. I got up wondering what week it was, that couldn't of been real could it!?
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