I'm looking at that block chain you mentioned, but even though the transaction was small they still paid $29 to send $0.38 cents.  Why, I'm not sure, and this transaction, because they paid close to 700 sat/byte got confirmed.  I figured if they wanted to clog memory pool they would send a transaction with a really low fee to remain unconfirmed.  Am I missing something here?  (and yes I am really new at this so please be patient with me for explanations, sorry). 

A large % of the unconfirmed transactions are micro transactions, like 1 satoshi. It’s a coordinated attack my those running BCH. 

For 87%, I can supply you any amount of Xbox and PSN codes on a reg. All legit with email receipts.

No problem... There is no harm in rebroadcasting a tx every couple of hours, altough it's only actually necessary when the biggest part of the network dropped the tx from their mempool.

Paying a higher fee is tricky. It can be done if you marked the tx as replacable when you created it, altough i'm not sure if the multibit gui already implemented this feature. You could also doublespend the inputs and generate a tx with the same output, but i think that's a very hard thing to do using multibit (since it does not allow you to export your private key, nor allows you to pick your inputs).

What you could attempt is a CPFP: generate a new tx using the unconfirmed outputs of those tx'es as inputs (or the output to your change addy). In this new tx, make sure the fee covers both the old tx and the new tx. This is also a longshot tough, since the miner has to do the effort of calculating wether he could get more fees by adding a low fee and high fee tx to his block.

A last option would be to contact quickseller or macbook-air or kano on  this forum and offer a reward if one of them includes your tx'es in a block they're currently solving.

is this what you're looking for?
http://btc.blockr.io/api/v1/tx/raw/66c0479bf5788ece1ee086bab04bc524c3f17a358e19f6206afa3808cff4a54f

0100000002e2acad19ecff82269cd2928946daa0ff1ffbf744115af26c16f4ff48932eca6101000 0006a47304402206429572a7b0c306cd8783e030ff8e17c104facc7830ca8236fa5758af15d6583 02203de82eddaf30504cc44a6fe8c4473af41cc830f8a9cdf265d6cc62c6362d8caa012102044fc 1bad78cfa400aecf07c6aa1cffb15637054187e2fc2c769b55a0592ef87ffffffff0ae79d6df611 32d50ffb350e1fbff861020d837e4973cda427ec5ac741169287010000006b483045022100fc83c 2a2723ab6a7430aa91ed0a7932cb26d911a0c059dfb793dc9eeee3f3dd802207e81f9e54af9df0b f3c0fed960f2ac289bb2ca90940ebc9d16291179b5efa611012102044fc1bad78cfa400aecf07c6 aa1cffb15637054187e2fc2c769b55a0592ef87ffffffff023cac1400000000001976a9145a20a4 d3e7aca3d76c71bc72534a1b1a8cfb70fb88ac31090901000000001976a914b50bb9d83cd287234 d86cfb05e9f1dce199b0d7588ac00000000

I took the liberty of pushing it trough my node, so it's in blockchain.info's mempool again

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By your own admission your product has legitimacy issues.

So let me get this straight.  You want someone else to take ALL the risk for you.  They take all the chargeback risk and they are on the hook for any issues related to the legality of you scheme.  Good luck with that.

You may not be a scammer but you sure sound like one,

If you are legit simply sell your product or service then buy Bitcoins on a legit exchange.  Easy.