I really believe in bitcoin and have bought some bitcoin, for self custody, in order to learn more about it. But I’m having a real hard time buying a bigger amount for self custody, and it all comes down to 1 big issue:

Either I buy bitcoin by the book (KYC) and become a target for attackers OR I go the full privacy-route (coinjoin, decentralised exchanges etc), with the caveat of locking my family savings in bitcoin forever and not being able to get fiat again (we might want it for a future house, travels etc).

Is there a silver bullet to solve this for a law abiding citizen that wants to do self custode and be able to go back and forth between fiat and bitcoin, and at the same time don’t want to be a target for attackers?

I have heard the solution from Aantonop of doing coinjoin and jumping k +1 times if regulated exchanges check your last k transactions, in order to deem your bitcoin tainted or not. It makes sense, since if they check all history of bitcoin then no bitcoin will be taint-free. But I wouldn't trust my family savings on that actually working the day we need fiat again. I also might be doing illicit activities according to some laws against coinjoins.

And it's doesn't matter that I have my bitcoin in a flawless custody, since someone could still just show up at our house which would be a nightmare.

What's a real viable solution here?