Twas the Night before YOURChain

Twas the night before YOURChain, when all over the net,
Not a crypto was tanking, not even the AMP.
The coins were stored in their wallets with care,
In hopes that more profits soon would be there.

The RChain victims were nestled all in their basement beds,
While visions of Lambos danced in their heads.
And Don Jr on his plane, and I in my penthouse mansion,
Had just settled our brains for a long coding session.

When out on the web there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to YouTube to see what was the matter.
Away to the Bitcointalk forum I flew like a flash,
Tore up RChain's post and threw up my own in a dash.

The RGB leds on my brand new mobo,
Gave multicolor illumination to the creatures below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty Subaru with a coexist sticker and a bong in the rear.

With a little, hippie driver, so greasy and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be that loser who looks like a chick!
More smelly than old Deadheads his coursers they came,
And he whined, and cried, and called them by name!

"Now, Ed! now, Christian! now, Ian and Jim!
On, Vlad! on Evan! on Hendrick and Patrick!
To the bottom of their pockets! to their very last cent!
Now scam away! Scam away! Scam away all!

As common law life partners that before him do fly,
When they can't stand his crap, they run without saying "Goodbye".
So up to the blockchain the commies they flew,
With promises made of lies, and Meredith too.

And then with a notification, I heard on my Slack.
The grasping and scratching of each little claw.
As I turned to my screen with one hand on my crypto dough,
Down my web tubes Greg came with a "brand new" ICO.

He was dressed out of Goodwill, from his head to his toes,
And his clothes were all stained with spilled Starbucks cappuccinos.
A bundle of lies he had flung on his white paper crap,
And he looked like a burglar, just opening his sack.

His eyes-how they were glazed! his smile how sleazy!
His cheeks were all sunken, his teeth how gnarly!
His mouth was ajar like a meth head on dope,
And the hair on his head was mangy from no soap.

Karl Marx's manifesto he held tight in his hands,
And the fleas they encircled his head like a filthy headband.
He had a new con, yes a new little scam,
That he claimed was "decentralized", but it needed financed!

He said a big investor had promised him ten million dollars, but only if he could raise more himself.
I laughed when I heard this for I knew no one would give him money, not even that LivelyGig guy who looks like an oversized elf.
A tear in his eye and a flip of his hair,
Soon gave me to know that he was full of hot air.

He spoke lots of words, but never did work,
And filled his own pockets, he was a big jerk.
And laying his fingers on the wallets of those about to be hosed!
And giving assurances he knew were fictitious, his illicit gains rose!

He sprang to his Subaru, to his minions he slithered,
And away lurched his car with black puff of smoke.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"RChain's a scam, kiss all your funds good-night!"