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A preview of one of the articles that will be published in the near future, among others:

WASHINGTON—In a striking turn of events, Monopoly money has now been declared legal tender in the United States of America. The announcement was made in a local Starbucks by the 14th Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Benjamin Bernanke.

“The guy ordered a Grande Mocha Frappuccino” says Jason Meyers, 23, barista and assistant manager at the downtown coffeehouse, “with extra whipped cream and caramel, but then he grumbled that he forgot his wallet or something and instead tried to pay with a crumpled Monopoly 500 dollar bill.”

Eyewitness reports indicate that Mr. Meyers initially tried to deny the transaction on the grounds that it wasn’t real money and that Chairman Bernanke responded by yelling, “Do you know who I am?  Do you know what authority I have?  If I say this is @$&#ing money, this is @$&#ing money!”

After a secretive meeting of the world’s most influential bankers on Jekyll Island, the so-called “Federal Reserve” was granted the legal authority to issue Federal Reserve Notes by the Federal Reserve Act of 1913.  Declaring Monopoly money as legal US tender; however, was an unprecedented move and many outspoken critics claim is unconstitutional.

“I don’t think it’s right that they can say paper is money and that’s that,” says Frank Fishburn, 39, father of two, whose aggravation stems from common sense, a deep distrust in the banking system, as well as the steep decline in value of the already circulating ‘Federal” Reserve Notes.  “Why can’t we, the people declare our own means by which we trade?  Why should we be continually subjected to this nonsense?” adds Frank.

Benjamin Bernanke refused to officially comment, although his press secretary recently tweeted, “Monopoly money is now as legal as the Dollar, the Chairman paid for his coffee,” followed by, “No, we will not issue value to Catan resource tokens, poker chips or seashells, stop asking.”  On a related note, seashells were historically recognized as currency in many Indian Ocean and Pacific Ocean islands, as well as islands north of the Caribbean.

Stock markets have been in a constant state of flux following this mid-morning announcement; although the presidential office assures America not to panic and that there is nothing they can legally do to oppose this decision.  Courts remain tentative about accepting "get out of jail free" cards. Meanwhile multinational toy and board game company Hasbro Inc. has replaced Dow Jones as the global indicator for the health of the stock market.