Funny men's topic #016

[Hors-sujet]

So, that's time to take a good time ! Write down a joke so the other can also enjoy it. Ok, I start :


The scene takes place in a North African country, at a presidencial conference :

The president : So, the Americans gone to th moon ! We're gonna beat their ass ! We'll go to the sun !

Everyone applaudes, except a woman, who stand up.

The woman : But Mister the President, if we go to the Sun, we'll burn a lot before arriving !

Then everyone start to shout : Whoo !

The President : No, motherfucker, we won't burn ! We're gonna go there by night !

And then everyone stand up to applaude the intelligence of the President !


Tell us what you think about this one !

[clangtrump]

?Try something more creative or your own dude. Im not judging...

[arbitrage]

Yes this is not so funny but you can try to give us another one.
Something different, then you will be a funny man

[Hors-sujet]

Yes this is not so funny but you can try to give us another one.
Something different, then you will be a funny man

I'm sorry if this is not funny. In the original version, I, and most of my friends find this one funny. I think that the translation make the joke lose all his greatness . By the way, I'll try to manage to find one for tomorrow, or maybe for tonight if I have enough time.

[MisO69]

This one is better..  I think Eddie Murphy stand up is the first time I heard this one.

One day there was a bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the forest.
The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit replies, "No.."
So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

[Hors-sujet]

This one is better..  I think Eddie Murphy stand up is the first time I heard this one.

One day there was a bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the forest.
The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit replies, "No.."
So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

This one is so funny ! It seems that I'm not designed to be really funny . I hope someone else will give us something. From my side I found nothing yet, but I'll find it someday !

[noormcs5]

Thats all normal not like a funny, you should added more.

[magnific61]

Men goes to bank
To lady clerk he says
- I wanna set an account in this f..king bank.
- What!?
- I think you're f..king deaf. I wanna set an account in this f..king bank.
- I am sorry sir. But if you express your purpose in this way, i can't help you. Let me call my manager.
Two minutes later she comes back with balt and fat man.
- Sir, by your words nobody will help you here. Please tell me your wish.
- Manager,  you know that for 3 months nobody won big reward in super lotto. Finally this week only one won. Its me. With this money, i wanna set an account in this f..king bank.
Manager looks at the lady clerk and turns to man
- And this f..king bitch doesn't help you,  does she!?

[magnific61]

One more do you want?

A thief breaks into the house at night. Turns on his torch in dark for searching something valuable.
Suddenly hears a voice:
- I see you!  Jesus sees too.
He looks around but can't see anytbody. Goes on
Once again same voice:
- I see you!  Jesus sees too.
He turns on lights and
- You are a parrot!
- Yes,  i am a parrot but jesus is a doberman!

[Hors-sujet]

Men goes to bank
To lady clerk he says
- I wanna set an account in this f..king bank.
- What!?
- I think you're f..king deaf. I wanna set an account in this f..king bank.
- I am sorry sir. But if you express your purpose in this way, i can't help you. Let me call my manager.
Two minutes later she comes back with balt and fat man.
- Sir, by your words nobody will help you here. Please tell me your wish.
- Manager,  you know that for 3 months nobody won big reward in super lotto. Finally this week only one won. Its me. With this money, i wanna set an account in this f..king bank.
Manager looks at the lady clerk and turns to man
- And this f..king bitch doesn't help you,  does she!?

One more do you want?

A thief breaks into the house at night. Turns on his torch in dark for searching something valuable.
Suddenly hears a voice:
- I see you!  Jesus sees too.
He looks around but can't see anytbody. Goes on
Once again same voice:
- I see you!  Jesus sees too.
He turns on lights and
- You are a parrot!
- Yes,  i am a parrot but jesus is a doberman!

I like these two jokes, they're pretty nice : Unfortunalty, all the jokes that I find are in my native language, and all my translation attempts end in a not that fun joke ...