Help needed to make a secure paper wallet

Hi everyone,
Please be patient with this newbie...this is probably not a new topic...but my level of stupidity probably is...
I do not consider myself to be a dumb person however I am being thrown by some of the most basic of concepts ... I want to buy bit coins and have decided a paper wallet suits my needs for security etc however...I am damed if I can figure out how to do it with all the appropriate security codes and programs etc etc.

Could someone please direct me to very very simple directions, or provide them to me, or give me your tel # and I will call you ... I am going nuts here!!!!

On a side note .... If bit coins are going to become "the thing" then they will have to be embraced by the population at large - this is not debatable; it's a fact. As such, directions to make a wallet and securitize it as well as buying and selling bit coins must be so simple as to be able to be used by the a novice; I for one am being befuddled by all the programs needed and am not sure how to do it and what is necessary. I am confident that once I "see" how it's done I will web embarrassed at its simplicity... Until then I am holding $$$$ and not bit coins

Thank you in advance for any help

Peter