The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

[Tyrantt]

    Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

    Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

    When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

    If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

    Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

    Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

    Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after
    having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

    Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

    Do not harm little children.

    Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

    When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.


As you can see, there are the 11 rules of the LaVeys' church of atheistic satanism (it doesn't sound as stupid once you read a little about it tho). What do you think about this? I'd like to hear an opinion of someone who's neutral to this question.

[xhomerx10]

In posting this, you have violated the first, second and third rules.  Per the fourth rule you should be treated with cruelty and without mercy (my apologies since I am not capable of such an act).  Cease this intrusion or we will be obliged to destroy you per the eleventh rule.

[MisO69]

Sounds like common sense to me.

Where do I sign up? 

[xhomerx10]

Sounds like common sense to me.

Where do I sign up? 

 lol   Where do I sign up for a decentralized, anarchist movement...
That's a good one

[Foxpup]

Sounds like common sense to me.

Where do I sign up? 

Right here: churchofsatan.com/join-the-cos.php

Where do I sign up for a decentralized, anarchist movement...

Somewhere else, obviously, since the Church of Satan has a hierarchical leadership structure with a central office in New York and is politically neutral. I can see it's not for you.

[xhomerx10]

Sounds like common sense to me.

Where do I sign up? 

Right here: churchofsatan.com/join-the-cos.php

Where do I sign up for a decentralized, anarchist movement...

Somewhere else, obviously, since the Church of Satan has a hierarchical leadership structure with a central office in New York and is politically neutral. I can see it's not for you.

 Though I do have a flare for mockery, you're right, it's not for me at all.  However, since you just violated rule number one, I'm going to have to warn you before destroying you with prejudice.
That's not the original church of satan.  The original church disbanded long ago - that one is a copy-cat church of LeVayan wannabes.  Anyway, according to Anton, Satanists are born, not made so there is no joining.

[Tyrantt]

hahah breaking the number one rule would be in case I was in this.... movement. This isn't my "troubles" so I don't think it's applied here, the third one is considered for home. :p At all, breaking rules in this current moment doesn't matter, just wanted to hear the opinion of this forum since most of users on politics and society (/pol/) are either extremely against or extremely pro religion.

[Foxpup]

hahah breaking the number one rule would be in case I was in this.... movement. This isn't my "troubles" so I don't think it's applied here, the third one is considered for home. :p

They don't apply here at all, xhomerx is just being an idiot. Rules 1 and 2 are pretty much entirely negated by this being a forum, ie, a place where people do ask for opinions and advice and want to hear each other's troubles. Rule 3, this forum belongs to the admins, so you have to follow their rules. Rule 4, the banhammer awaits those who violate rule 3. Rule 11 doesn't apply since this isn't open territory and you have no right to be here (see rule 3); if people are bothering you here, you're welcome to leave.

That's not the original church of satan.

Yes, it is.

The original church disbanded long ago - that one is a copy-cat church of LeVayan wannabes.

You've got it backwards. The "disbanding" of 1974 was LaVey himself kicking out those he saw as trying to suck up to him. Many of them went on to set up their own "Satanic" churches while espousing very un-Satanic views.

Anyway, according to Anton, Satanists are born, not made so there is no joining.

Yes. The founder of the church said there is no joining his church. He was really into Zen; that's why he shaved his head, too.

[xhomerx10]

hahah breaking the number one rule would be in case I was in this.... movement. This isn't my "troubles" so I don't think it's applied here, the third one is considered for home. :p

They don't apply here at all, xhomerx is just being an idiot. Rules 1 and 2 are pretty much entirely negated by this being a forum, ie, a place where people do ask for opinions and advice and want to hear each other's troubles. Rule 3, this forum belongs to the admins, so you have to follow their rules. Rule 4, the banhammer awaits those who violate rule 3. Rule 11 doesn't apply since this isn't open territory and you have no right to be here (see rule 3); if people are bothering you here, you're welcome to leave.

That's not the original church of satan.

Yes, it is.

The original church disbanded long ago - that one is a copy-cat church of LeVayan wannabes.

You've got it backwards. The "disbanding" of 1974 was LaVey himself kicking out those he saw as trying to suck up to him. Many of them went on to set up their own "Satanic" churches while espousing very un-Satanic views.

Anyway, according to Anton, Satanists are born, not made so there is no joining.

Yes. The founder of the church said there is no joining his church. He was really into Zen; that's why he shaved his head, too.

 Idiot is a pretty strong word.  It's my sense of humour.
Are you seriously trying to define where these made-up rules apply?  I didn't realize this was a serious discussion. 
In that case;  I'm out of here.  Thread unfollowed.

[Vod]

    Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

So if I see someone failing over and over, and I can clearly see the reason why, I can't tell them?

What a ridiculous cult. 

[Foxpup]

So if I see someone failing over and over, and I can clearly see the reason why, I can't tell them?

Well, you can, but you know as well as anyone else that it won't do any good.

[ardentvolcanoes]

    Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

I am giving an opinion to other people very often which is not actually asked from me but i think there is nothing to worry about, i am not a satanist but this is ridiculous

    Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

lmao. even if they want to hear about it i don't wan't to share any of my troubles to them because they can never give a solution for it and I don't need any help haha

    Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

this was the most prevailed whenever I am hanging out with a woman

    When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

and this was my favorite, i loved to destroy anyone who wants to bother me like getting their internal organs out of their body