You should stop jerking off for a while
That's almost what happened, except that what was being (almost) jerked off was my entire arm from the rest of my body because it was holding a leash that was attached to a large dog who likes to chase squirrels. I think she managed to get to her top sprint speed from a dead stop in the time it took to move from 12' behind me to 12' in front of me.
Also: right-handed