Best Jokes

Here you can post jokes which you want so we can make some fun in this forum.

This are some my jokes:
Joke#1:Bitch and poker player

You saw playing a good bitch on the road and now he asks how much?
She says she's 300 euros ...
and poker player asks, is there any satellites ??
Joke#2: A dead poker player

Six guys played poker and when Smith lost $ 500 in one hand, he got to his chest and fell dead under the table. Showing the respect of their deceased colleagues, the other five had finished playing and got up from the chair.

Robert looks around and asks, "Now, who will tell his wife?"

They decided to pull straws. Rippington, who always lost his poker, pulled the shortest straw. Then they advised him to be discreet, kind, and not to create an even worse situation than he is now.

"I am the most discerning person you've ever met." Discretion is my middle name, you can leave it to me. "

And so Ripperton went to Smith's house, knocked on the door, the woman opened and asked him what he wanted.

Rippington says, "Your husband's card has just lost $ 500."

The woman said, "Tell him to crush!"

Rippington replied, "All right, I'll tell him."

Joke#3:You know you're getting bad when ...

The villain beside you continually explains where the ATM is located.
Order a sandwich with cheese and cheese for 10kn, and when the waiter comes with your account, you do not have to pay.
You start screaming at someone calling on your pre-flop raise with the boy and the queen.
The only things you can say the whole night are "Nice Poker Hand", "Excellent Playing" and "Chips"!
A handsome older lady with a large number of chips won by you, asks you to play as often as you like.

Joke#4:Rabbi, Pastor and Priest.

Rabbi, parish priest and priest played poker when police fired with their dogs and interrupted the game. By recording the priest, the chief police officer said, "Father Murphy, did you gamble?"

The priest looked into the sky and whispered, "God, forgive me what I did." She turned to the policeman and said, "No, sir, I did not gamble."

Then the policeman asked the parish priest, "Parish Johnson, did you gamble?"

After turning to heaven, the pastor replied, "No, sir, I did not gamble."

The police officer then turned to the rabbi and asked, "Rabine Goldstein, and did you gamble?"
Rabin shrugged and asked, "And with whom?"