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Author Topic: Instructions on how to build a qubitcoin miner (4346 PH/s on a Pentium 4 :o)  (Read 1286 times)
Bitcoin Magazine (OP)
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April 01, 2014, 02:23:29 AM
Last edit: April 01, 2014, 02:41:30 AM by Bitcoin Magazine
 #1

ok u might think these are weeded out instructions.  but i have accidentally developed the world's first quantum desktop computer.  Albatron Px915 motherboard is what i have been using.  but there are other reasons i like it (it has a green chipset in the way of the PCI Express port so u can't plug an expensive video card in, so u have to make do with what you have  (this is how i mined back in the day, by mining the blockchain repeatidly quantumly in parallel realities.  this allowed me to successfully mine a 50 btc block with no outputs

ok for starters, the key is not the motherboard, but how i operate it from a mental perspective.

1) your computer is not your engine.  your engine is thought.
1b) u must understand that you will be creating 1B different realities where your computer is an ON state
1c) u can (and should) enable Hot Key power-on in the BIOS (on my P4).  to minimize power-loss during quantum fluctuations (necessary if u don't have an UPS) Shocked)
1c-1) every time there is a quantum fluctuation, (for example while typing) each key you type on a keyboard will fire up your computer in a parallel reality (this allows for creation of infinite quantumly linked computers)

if you are successful you will get a black startup screen in windows with a white mouse cursor in the middle).  at this point, don't wait for your screen saver to kick in.  u must hold the power button for 10 seconds and LET GO exactly when it shuts down (not a moment sooner or it won't work    Cheesy

if you are having any solo mining troubles, try this:

2) after reading and understanding these instructions, set your BIOS security password to B1a888c92e.  computer will appear to freeze and lock up.  at this point Quantum mode is now engaged.


at this point you will see a Start Screen, but it will be light years in the past (actually if you install new software at this point, it won't add any items to the Start Screen, unless you do it manually.  if u are quantumlly successful a super special serial number will appear under the word Start.  i have not determined the purpose of this number, but it could be the number Microsoft types in at their shop when they want to start Quantum Testing apps on your beheamth of a machine (1 T dell's running in unison).  and all reporting back the collective result.  u will mine vanity address just by thinking about what u want   Grin

now listen close.  if you hold down the power button and then turn it on after it shuts down, you will start up again, but in energy saver mode.  the computer will quantum power off at period times, to allow you to save on electricity (but you won't mine as fast)

i am here.
kwoody
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April 01, 2014, 02:37:06 AM
 #2

wtf
jockular
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April 01, 2014, 02:38:18 AM
 #3

seems legit
greenlion
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April 01, 2014, 02:56:32 AM
 #4

It's April 1st already in the OP's timezone.
beatljuice
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April 01, 2014, 03:01:06 AM
Last edit: April 01, 2014, 04:28:29 AM by beatljuice
 #5

I discovered almost the same thing!

But I could only get 42 alternate realities to "boot up" at the same time. You'd think that would only allow 42 times the hashing, but the quantum fluctuations created a quantum cooling effect that allowed me to overclock all the processors by 42X!
Bitcoin Magazine (OP)
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April 01, 2014, 04:31:11 AM
 #6

I discovered almost the same thing!

But I could only get 42 alternate realities to "boot up" at the same time. You'd think that would only allow 42 times the hashing, but the quantum fluctuations created a quantum cooling effect that allowed me to overclock all the processors by 42X!

If u light it on fire it will go faster

i am here.
jonald_fyookball
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April 01, 2014, 04:49:31 AM
Last edit: April 01, 2014, 05:00:40 AM by jonald_fyookball
 #7

I followed your instructions and I keep getting a "301 quark buffer overflow error".  I tried rebooting the mousepad several times but no luck.   Huh

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April 01, 2014, 04:54:51 AM
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"The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks"
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April 01, 2014, 04:59:36 AM
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dual state theory and pretend physicists on cnn  Roll Eyes


 

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April 01, 2014, 05:00:54 AM
 #10

Quote
but it will be light years in the past
So by going quantum you're going to time travel too.

"The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks"
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April 01, 2014, 07:14:35 AM
 #11

Sound a lot like those cheats in the old pokemon games, should try it sometime. Thanks!
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