I think that Paul Vernon was sitting on his porch minding his own business when he was approached by Gandalf the grey and swept off onto a journey with a bunch of dwarfs. He wanted to turn around and get his phone to tweet to everyone that he and his business Cryptsy were fine but they had gone too far and could not turn back. Big Vern has been fighting off vicious mountain trolls and is facing down his greatest opponent yet a big fiery federal dragon while riding his giant rainbow stallion decorated with the tears of 100,000 crypto traders.
