3rd party doesn't control your funds - true. However, you get to pay this 3rd party tax for doing transactions on 'their' network. who could be so stupid to want to let these guys take over the 'protocol'? Hopefully, - nobody.
With the LN protocol there is no 3rd party involved. You and I can create a channel/room. With this channel we do as many transactions as we want. If we are finished we close the channel. No 3rd party involved and no tax to pay. We use bitcoin to establish the channel and to do the clearing when we close the channel.
BTW we can do off-chain transactions right now, using a payment channel.
If you can't add it within the protocol of bitcoin, don't bother.
LN basically means using the the bitcoin protocol elements to create safe off-chain transactions.
It removes the reason why bitcoin was created and used in the first place.
Wrong. It needs the bitcoin system. In fact it is a certain use model of the bitcoin system like multisig escrow.
With TLN you will require trust and other risks inherent with centralized services.
There is no central service. Maybe you should read about how payment channels and lightning network is working first.