A problem that can’t be dissolved: mission impossible

[AicecreaME]

Let’s make it clear, I pay to my parent monthly allowance, I don’t want mention gender *you know why I don’t want unwanted attention*, I have absolutely doing it unconditionally, just paying it out of my spare cash because I want them to have a meal everyday to survive, I’m doing it just like any grown up kids trying to protect their ageing parent, I rephrase, no commitment in doing it, not even a legally bind responsibility obligation, just out of unconditionally want my parent to spend on some food with that money and forget the hardship, but I find it’s a mistake to be feeding them with cash and expect they will appreciate no matter how much I give them, but no they demand more not less, I’m going to say I didn’t expect that, and I can’t find a way to reject them or blame them, this is kinda big dilemma that has no right or wrong way to do it. I think it’s very clear, if anyone else on my shoe they surely know it, btw I’m just making an instance.

The art of giving will always be not expecting something in return, because if you are, then that only means you don't give what comes from your heart.

I got your point that you're having dissatisfaction or being sulky about the behavior of your parents after you gave them their daily needs without them asking. The solution on your part is so easy, it's either you always neglect the part on which they didn't appreciate you and be happy because you're doing what's right or you could stop giving to them and live your life to the healthiest way possible.

Toxic people could drain your whole system easily, even if its your parents or love ones, just leave for your own good and peace of mind, that's more important.

[Broly46]

Okay this seems fair , 2000$ for parents who definitely are your responsibility and you are doing great. I do believe that you need to talk with them!!!
You have to make them understand that 2000$ per month is a hefty amount which can for sure crater to their every need , if they fail to comply to your argument, then stop giving them money for a while , save up , if you save up for a year around 12*2000$ = 24000$ then instead of giving them this money , invest it into a small business, now name this business in their name which would mean , now they will have a fully functional business to look after and they can engage themselves mentally , get involved and stay at home and earn profit.
See the problem is : I believe they have overly great lifestyle and they have to start taking responsibility.
No matter what , if it's a kid , parent , sibling , I believe after a certain point you learn to be responsible and lean on your strength. As far as my parents are concerned , my grandma and my dad , they would kill me if I dare to send them money , even though they are very old , they like earning themselves and I help them up with some gifts every now and then.
You have to talk , to make sure they get engaged in something!!

The thing is ; when people are old, they have very little to hold onto , what they need is to feel that they have some responsibility and they are needed. So I believe if you engage them in business where they have to do nothing but make a phone call and watch from the sidelines they would love it.

I don’t know I will agree with you, but there is great point here, it’s all about greatly ultilising the fund on some leveraged ventures, which is quite risky, I’m very condemn running business especially on time of crisis, it’s great thinker today youth are extremely efficient in driving a small business plan with very little funding, look at what bitmain history, the youth actually start the asic miner chip with just the little money they can collect from bitcoin in 2014, don’t forget all the great ICO of the past that raise the fund without even actually involved a real DOLLAR money, apart from many of cash grab scams that flooding the entire space, you can’t deny youth spend zero real DOLLAR to get business idea to execute, and turn it into a blue chip mega corp today, it said a lot about how we should focus our fund on something more productive, I read a story, youth should detach themselves of anything in their life, every responsibility, detach from their parent burdens, their teacher everything to be on their very own, and that way they can finally truly OUTGROWN the status quo archaic and capitalisitics society, it’s already tough enough for them to even make some money for themselves, family, partners,” girl friend” will make it harder by 10x, it’s cruel to do horrible thing like this to oneself, end of my rant, I’m not entire sure it’s a good debate.

[Broly46]

Let’s make it clear, I pay to my parent monthly allowance, I don’t want mention gender *you know why I don’t want unwanted attention*, I have absolutely doing it unconditionally

Let's start with cutting the crap here

You are not doing it unconditionally, i.e. without forcing yourself to do that, deep down inside. You actually feel obligated, otherwise you wouldn't raise this theme. But I don't blame you in the least. Just be honest to yourself, how much you really would want to pay. You don't have to find excuses and then feel guilty because you can't deceive yourself. Just accept the fact that you are not quite happy with the situation, and it is totally okay. I'm not saying that this is your case, but some parents are real bastards to their children, and they come to heavily abuse the psychological dependence of their kids on them, the dependence which they thoroughly cherish and nourish. Then you feel guilty

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I know there is no way to write a thread that will not attract attention, not gonna go offensive and well it’s an open forum I’m gonna accept to receive all type ideas from all people of different SES, expecting someone will cherry picking on the content, I would say this is kinda repetitive socially acceptable type of redundant cliches, how about not all providers are the same? Some providers are just weak that can’t even afford a 2000 allowance a month? Well psychology is kinda deceiving, they would judge people totally out of reality, because there is always not enough amount to a feeling sort of demand, people always need to feel more, more feeling, more pleasure, there can’t be a threshold to it. I’d avoid anything that involves feeling.

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This is not just about one parent or this is not just about one person, this is basically just a symbol of what you face when you make money.

If you are not super rich or wealthy, it is always hard to deal with life when you are not alone and have responsibility of other people. Think of a person who has to work and earn enough money to support their spouse and their kid, isn't that similar? And this is a lot more common as well, maybe a kid taking care of their parent is not common but a person taking care of his own family every day is very very common and it is the back bone of our world.

When we are talking about a single guy living at home, we are talking about someone who can save some money with even small amount income, when we talk about a family dad, we are talking about someone who can't live with 2x more income. Sometimes you need income of 3 people just as a single person.

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I think it’s kind of common, like all the providers are doing a mission impossible that they’re not even aware with self conscious, but the entire world has changed too dramatically where the use-to-be good old fashion of go to school, make good grade and get good paying job and retired peacefully no longer a working formula to lead a standard lifestyle, it has changed to a point self entitlement individual are beginning to change from depending to leeching to predatory parasitism draining alive it’s host providers, and may kill it in the meanwhile, if this is the usual practice today, it’s kinda horrible to be decent human being anymore.

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Give them a finger and they'll take an arm...
For me it wouldn't be a problem. If I were paying my parent's allowance and heard that it's not enough, I'd give them a choice between keeping it as it is, or sending me all the bills. This would mean that I have to accept things they buy and pay for them, or not.
I find it hard to believe that a grown up would have none of their own money and had to ask me for every penny. I'm not paying for my parents, they have their own money, but if they asked me for help, I'd probably demand access to their bank account first, to see how they're spending money. Usually the problem lies in people's spending habits, not in a total lack of money. I don't know a single person who has 0 money, but I know a lot of gamblers and so called "big spenders" who have a room full of designer clothes, but can't pay the rent.

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LOL, I’d say not all people are the same, some are just big spender and it just unreasonable to tolerate, it’s easy to spot them among the crowd, big spenders are usually fighting among themselves they want to have everything within their circle so that they can finally feel contented in life, I’d said a big spending couple would likely to breakups and fighting at a factor of a magnitude higher than the average spenders, well if it’s a parent of somebody I wish them the best.

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[bits4books]

Apparently this is about alimony for your wife - and I'm sorry for you. All these post-divorce processes, such as alimony and division of property, is a very big pain, especially if your wife did not bring anything to the family budget herself.
As an option you can certainly declare yourself bankrupt and file a lawsuit to cancel these alimony payments, but this is a rather difficult story and very expensive in terms of legal costs.
If it's not a secret, what was the reason for the increase in the amount of payments?
As already mentioned above-the judicial system is really unfair to men in divorce. A woman doesn't have to do ANYTHING and a man needs to pay alimony, give up his child, half of the property, etc.
The only way out for future couples that I see is a prenuptial agreement. Well, or true love, in which you do not have to divorce.

Certainly I do not want to relate it to alimony, nope it’s spreading from alimony disease to everything else, it has become a behaviour, when the virus come and stomp the world with surprise, everybody suddenly realise the profit is all that matter in nearly everything in life, even alimony is all about making profit, the past couple get alimony for profit too, that’s the whole point the entire world has been missing priori to the time when they have no financial constraints, when money is running out, everyone behave cold, behave savage, behave rude. COVID is actually very profitable, it’s why COVID won’t end so soon, because making profit on COVID is going on until it’s milking everybody dry, that “everybody” get milked to the point they can no longer afford a living, yeah I think 2000 is an issues very soon at this rate, it’s not about money anymore, it’s the government use COVID to force all of you to spend money until you all go absolutely deep into the debt.

Why not sue the illegal requirement to increase child support?
This is such a readable scheme that even the most stupid Prosecutor will not have questions about why it is now necessary to increase payments.
It is very sad, to be honest, that in terms of divorce all bonuses go to the wife, when the husband remains «at the broken home». We need to do something about this - after all, the same "great" modern feminists are fighting for the same equality, but when it comes to equal rights in divorce or the cancellation of alimony because no one owes anyone anything, then believe me, you will immediately be hounded and called a freak for what you want "a poor and defenseless girl with a child" to leave without means to exist.
And if you want to keep the child for yourself, it will be even worse.

[lixer]

There is always that dilemma where you have to pick two things from your mind and you have to go with one of them.

Either you have the mindset of "I can't keep giving this much money, what if I never had it to begin with? What if I couldn't afford it? Not like I get this guaranteed income, it shouldn't be this way" and you do not end up going with it, because let's be honest maybe you wouldn't have the money to do this, nobody is giving you free money so it shouldn't be guaranteed that you pay because if you get fired from your job tomorrow and have no money for yourself, how could you help someone else.

The other side is "if I can do it today, I should do it, tomorrow either I may not be financially able to do it, or maybe they won't be around forever so when I can, I should" and you end up doing it as much as you can as financially further as you can go until you can't anymore. You pick one of them and live with that.

[usekevin]

Just explain your parent you can't give him more money than you already do or tell him you think it's an unfair situation and how you are feeling about it during these 9 years you support him.
You might conciliate your relationship through a sincere talk with each other. It doesn't look a mission impossible. I think there is solution for everything, except for the death.

Death is only the end.Other than that everything is possible one in this world.You can increase the money to your parents.With this you can make a investment in bitcoin for your parents.When the price increases,your parent will get more money from that investment.It will help them in their critical situation.

[darewaller]

I don’t know what is being censored there . Anyway, if $2,000 is what you can afford to be giving whosoever it is, then you should stick to that and not do more than you can take. I don’t like people who have this entitlement mentality, it annoys me a lot.

If they are able to work then they should go out there and look for a job that they are going to be doing and earning money and stop relying too much on you. As for you, don’t do too much than you can take and end up regretting it tomorrow. You’re just going to get yourself into frustration by giving in to what they have said. What if you happen to lose money? It’s clear you’re not going to have anyone to rely on.

[cotton ball]

What is your problem that you write is full of unclear bits if you are your problem about helping others then the main thing is to be able and you have a lot of money to do it all if your life is simple and you don't have a lot of money then you better not do That help every time helping someone is necessary but not having to do it all the time and doing it because you are forced is not very good.

[Broly46]

Death is only the end.Other than that everything is possible one in this world.You can increase the money to your parents.With this you can make a investment in bitcoin for your parents.When the price increases,your parent will get more money from that investment.It will help them in their critical situation.

Your optimism is encouraging but deceiving at the same time, definitely money is one thing that’s impossible, are you telling me anybody can afford to apart a couple billions just like Jeff Bezos, that’s quite insane in my life making a billion is never a possibility, and as we all know the known living billionaire is just less than 0.00001% of the total population and the “anything is possible” doesn’t sound totally convincing when you try to win a lottery on an odds of 0.00001%, yeah deceiving and totally out of reality, it’s fine to read all of those spammy self improvement book but sometime we need to think wisely if they’re even since in writing the book, I know they even tell me it is possible to revive after you die jumping from a high ground, shoot your self on the head and still revive the next minute, don’t get me wrong there is truly somebody believe that, and they truly shot themselve over the webcam and shown the entire world but did he revive? Anything is possible? Yup. yeah it’s very offensive, but you gotta deal with it a reality check life lesson.