3000-6000 BTC loan - Hookah Lounge - 9/18/12 Update

[smracer]

Just find a hookah lounge that is bankrupt and buy that one from the bank for cheap.

[1713521492]

1713521492

[1713521492]

1713521492

[1713521492]

1713521492

[1713521492]

1713521492

[repentance]

Just find a hookah lounge that is bankrupt and buy that one from the bank for cheap.

Except there isn't one for sale where dank lives and he doesn't sound inclined to move in order to fulfil his dream.  Not to mention that businesses usually go bankrupt for a reason and you can only turn them around if you are able to over-come whatever made them fail in the first place.

[heatstroke]

Just find a hookah lounge that is bankrupt and buy that one from the bank for cheap.

Except there isn't one for sale where dank lives and he doesn't sound inclined to move in order to fulfil his dream.  Not to mention that businesses usually go bankrupt for a reason and you can only turn them around if you are able to over-come whatever made them fail in the first place.

I really want dank to buy up a failing hookah business, and ask the owner why he's selling it.

"Well, about a year ago, I bought a hookah and enjoyed it so much I thought, 'hey, I could make a business out of this.'  I did some back-of-envelope calculations one weekend, borrowed a bunch of money, and started this place up.  I cut costs and cut corners as much as possible, thenstarted bleeding cash because I didn't  do any market research or financial planning; so here I am, bankrupt."

To which dank will reply, "That sucks I guess, I wasn’t really paying attention.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to slap some benches together out of plywood.  This place is going to be sweet.  Did you know you can cure cancer by believing in yourself?  Seriously, there's like science and stuff about it."

[dank]

That's nice, too bad I'll be opening my own.

Did you know, there are hookah bars that have never gone bankrupt?  Especially with their rising popularity across the country.

[the_thing]

That's nice, too bad I'll be opening my own.

Did you know, there are hookah bars that have never gone bankrupt?  Especially with their rising popularity across the country.

Did you know vast majority of small businesses go bankrupt within their first two years?

[BitcoinINV]

I plan on building a good amount of the furniture myself, at least bench seating, the sage and what not.

Have you EVER built furniture? You realize it has to pass inspection, right? Do you know what goes into making furniture? Do you know what the weight rating is for the fiberboard backing? Do you know how to properly attach coverings? Do you know what is the proper filling to use for furniture?

Seriously, you think you can just build a picnic bench?

I've built a deck.  Yeah.

Let's keep this thread on topic, please.

Dank My man, look for old churches and buy there benches. Just add backing to them and padding if they don't have them already. You might have to rent a U-haul and drive away's but I think you could save some serious cash that way. If not I'm sure you can read a blueprint on how to build a bench....... It's not rocket science or carpenters would got to college lol

[dank]

That's nice, too bad I'll be opening my own.

Did you know, there are hookah bars that have never gone bankrupt?  Especially with their rising popularity across the country.

Did you know vast majority of small businesses go bankrupt within their first two years?

Yes, and the exceptional ones, like mine, don't.

[repentance]

Yes, and the exceptional ones, like mine, don't.

What did the real estate agent handling the property you're looking at have to say?  How much are the upfront expenses and did you get hold of plans showing all the plumbing, electrical stuff, air-conditioning, load bearing beams, wall studs, etc?

[TheBible]

That's nice, too bad I'll be opening my own.

Did you know, there are hookah bars that have never gone bankrupt?  Especially with their rising popularity across the country.

Ok, here's a simple question then.  When?  When will you open it?

This is a question a serious investor will ask you (and note, they will ask questions well before committing to funding you, and your current attitude is going to drive them away), and "When I get the money" isn't going to be an acceptable answer.

I know you don't believe in planning ahead, but you'd better believe anyone putting up their money for it sure as hell will.

[TheBible]

That's nice, too bad I'll be opening my own.

Did you know, there are hookah bars that have never gone bankrupt?  Especially with their rising popularity across the country.

Did you know vast majority of small businesses go bankrupt within their first two years?

Yes, and the exceptional ones, like mine, don't.

Except for the fact that you don't have a hookah bar.  Also, the fact that others don't go bankrupt (and if you do any research, you'll see it's because the owners planned well in advance and didn't cut corners or make their customers sit on crates) doesn't mean yours won't either.  

Of course, you won't get any investors until you have the types of solid plans that you have outright rejected doing here.  In the time you've been planning this, a real businessman would have mad the bar already open and running.

Someone else asked earlier, but I guess you missed it.  What did the real estate agent say?  Do you have those floorplans?  You have had more than enough time to get this done, you know, so I expect you have an answer.

[dank]

Except I will have a hookah bar, just as I will be a rock star.  I never said I'd use crates as seats, a box can be of any shape, including a rectangular prism.  I haven't got ahold of the agent yet.

My plan is infallible, that's what I know, believe it or not.

[TheBible]

Except I will have a hookah bar, just as I will be a rock star.  I never said I'd use crates as seats, a box can be of any shape, including a rectangular prism.  I haven't got ahold of the agent yet.

My plan is infallible, that's what I know, believe it or not.

Anyone can say they'll succeed, dank.  You have to prove it.  Open the hookah bar.  All you've done is talk about it.  With a perfect infallible plan, a loan should be incredibly easy to get.

Why have you not talked to the real estate agent yet?  I thought you were serious about this.

Oh, and you need music lessons.  I don't know where you got the idea that some rock legends never had them, but I promise you, they did, and they didn't argue on forums in their spare time.  They practiced until their fingers bled.

I don't know where you get all this confidence.  You haven't accomplished anything yet.  You don't get to be smug until you actually do something.  Stop slacking off and talk to the real estate agent.  Any investors watching you right now just see a lazy arrogant ass who hasn't done half the footwork needed to be done.  I guess that's why you're still waiting for funding while a real businessman would already have the bar open at this point.

[BorderBits]

It's too bad dank actually needs the money before failing miserably.  I feel the comedy gold would be through the roof if we got to see dank fail at running a hookah bar.  I can just imagine a compounding cycle of disaster climaxing at the point when the CDC shuts it down because of a tuberculosis outbreak due to dank's profit maximizing cleanliness standards.  Unfortunately that vein of pure strain gold will remain untapped. . . or, will it?  If Dank can offer a 2% weekly return, and get a AAAAAAA- rating from a grown man who loves a children's TV show, I think he may just get the money needed to allow our mining operation to continue!    

[dank]

Except I will have a hookah bar, just as I will be a rock star.  I never said I'd use crates as seats, a box can be of any shape, including a rectangular prism.  I haven't got ahold of the agent yet.

My plan is infallible, that's what I know, believe it or not.

Anyone can say they'll succeed, dank.  You have to prove it.  Open the hookah bar.  All you've done is talk about it.  With a perfect infallible plan, a loan should be incredibly easy to get.

Why have you not talked to the real estate agent yet?  I thought you were serious about this.

Oh, and you need music lessons.  I don't know where you got the idea that some rock legends never had them, but I promise you, they did, and they didn't argue on forums in their spare time.  They practiced until their fingers bled.

I don't know where you get all this confidence.  You haven't accomplished anything yet.  You don't get to be smug until you actually do something.  Stop slacking off and talk to the real estate agent.  Any investors watching you right now just see a lazy arrogant ass who hasn't done half the footwork needed to be done.  I guess that's why you're still waiting for funding while a real businessman would already have the bar open at this point.

It's called belief, whatever you believe is true.  I have accomplished a great deal aside from the hookah business, in the last few months.  Not being smug, just telling it how it is.  I've made two attempts to contact him and he was unavailable.

[Monster-Ant]

Except I will have a hookah bar, just as I will be a rock star.

I will be an astronaut, just as I will be a porn star, just as I will take the bronze medal in female gymnastics.

  I never said I'd use crates as seats, a box can be of any shape, including a rectangular prism.

Your plywood boxes will never meet OSHA and safety requirements if you refuse to read and follow a simple blueprint.

Surely a highly intelligent captain of industry such as yourself can read a simple blueprint.

Even I can.

  I haven't got ahold of the agent yet.

So you have no idea what the rent is on the property, what its zoning is, what the ventilation is like, what the power consumption is, or even what is already in place?

My plan is infallible, that's what I know, believe it or not.

Who are you, Magneto?

"Quake in fear, Captain Bitcoin, for I, Dank, have you captured! My plan is infallible. That's what I know, believe it or not!" - Dank the Destroyer, Issue #1

Christ, Dank, you don't even HAVE a plan.

You have some wishes, some half-cocked ideas, and a half-assed bunch of guestimations. You refuse to take advice, you refuse to listen, and you just keep cramming your fingers deeper into your ears and yelling "NAH NAH NAH I CAN'T HEAR YOU NAH NAH NAH GIMME BITCOINS NAH NAH NAH" and denying reality.

Hell, I already had people asking me if I wanted to actually make my S&M business, and if so, was I open to investors. That's without even a plan.

You know why? Because it was obvious I knew what I was doing, and willing to do research, and had even put some consideration into my idea.

Hell, I've put more effort and research into my S&M business, something I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO DO, than you have in your dream.

So, how's your first album selling.

Oh, wait, it isn't because you won't even take guitar lessons.

How's your hookah bar going?

Oh, wait, it isn't, because you refuse to do Even the bare minimum effort.

Let me guess ,when it fails, it wil lbe the government's fault for shutting down your unsafe and unhealthy business, with its falling apart hobo-tastic furniture, the bank's fault for wanting their money, the utility company's fault for not accepting the promise of bitcoins when you get rich, and your landlord's fault for not supporting your dream and not being such a negative bummer dude by demanding his rent on time in fiat dollars.

I wish I had a time machine so I could jump forward and watch this crash and burn...

wait...

 what's that?

It's future me!

Let me tell you what he told me!

"Dank didn't get shit done because he refuses to do shit. So he ended up not getting the money, and ended up owing people thousands of bit-coins because he spent the bitcoins he lent them on Silk Road and got scammed."

It's called belief, whatever you believe is true.

There's also reality.

And reality has the tendency to punch you in the balls despite beliefs.

  I have accomplished a great deal aside from the hookah business, in the last few months.

Like what?

  Not being smug, just telling it how it is.

How what is?

That you're using the magical power of wishing?

How what is?

  I've made two attempts to contact him and he was unavailable.

Two WHOLE attempts! My God, did you have to take a nap afterwards? I mean, picking up the phone and calling, how strenous.

Yeah, future-self told me to tell you that unless you quit bullshitting around, in a year you'll have moved onto your next great plan and will be claiming your hookah bar was blocked because of evil fiat money government agents who don't want bitcoin to succeed.

Oh, and Future-Self told me that I'm sold out of 6X Barberalla Slave-Girl outfits and to tell you, Dank, to sew faster or instead of Top Ramen you and your shift will be eating dog food from a can.

[BorderBits]

Yeah, future-self told me to tell you that unless you quit bullshitting around, in a year you'll have moved onto your next great plan and will be claiming your hookah bar was blocked because of evil fiat money government agents who don't want bitcoin to succeed.

A year?  Two weeks, three tops. 

[dank]

Anyone can talk shit too.  You've expressed your opinion, so give me time to prove it wrong.

What you believe creates your reality, does it not?

[Monster-Ant]

Anyone can talk shit too.

I will yield the stage to the master of talking shit and not getting shit done, Dank.

 You've expressed your opinion, so give me time to prove it wrong.

You've HAD TIME, and you've done exactly jack and shit with that time.

So, is your spreadsheet up to 100 lines of worthless garbage that is completely divorced from reality and still uses single-line entry and accounting?

What you believe creates your reality, does it not?

No. Otherwise the Soviet Union's scientific R&D would have outstripped everyone else's when some of their scientists insisted that was how science works.

And every 5 year old would have a pony.

And lightning would strike all the gays dead thanks to the all powerful God.

Oh, by the way, regarding you're going to be a rockstar?

http://www.2shared.com/audio/384md7rW/Untitled__19_.html

Next time, try playing the guitar with your fingers, and not run your cock back and forth on the frets.

Protip: You play it with your fingers and a pick, not by setting it on the floor and rubbing your face on the strings.

[TheBible]

It's called belief, whatever you believe is true.

Horseshit.

Hey, I believe you will fail.  I guess it's true, or does your belief somehow overpower mine?  Maybe it splits off a new universe so we can both be right?  If you're so sure of this, then surely you are aware of the mechanism by which it works.  Explain the mechanics to me.  How is belief channeled into reality.  What phenomena causes this to occur, and how?  And don't give me some shit about how science can't explain the spiritual.  If it causes a tangible effect on this world, it can be measured and studied.

No seriously, how does this "What you believe is true" garbage make any sense.  Lots of people believe lots of contradictory shit.  What happens with one person's belief conflicts with another's?  I'm sure glad people like you aren't researching medicine or science. 

Sorry dank, but we live in a world that is measurable and has absolute truths.  Your brain cannot overpower them, unless of course, you wanted to be begging on the bitcoin forums for a loan that everyone is mocking you for.  Which of your beliefs brought about this reality?  Masochism?

Here's a quote for you.  "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."  Stop quoting shit like this as if it is some kind of truth. You're just making it up.  Hell, if it is true, why are you here getting mocked while not owning a hookah bar?  Too busy with Dank Glass?  Still working on those seasteading structures?  If you've accomplished something, then please, tell us what it was.  Finally buy a guitar to practice with?

[TheBible]

I've made two attempts to contact him and he was unavailable.

So just believe him into calling you right now.

What you believe creates your reality, does it not?

No dank, it does not.  

How can you even claim this? This is the sort of shit millionaires say when trying to sell a shitty book. You're begging for a loan on the bitcoin forums while you pretend to run a bank while everyone makes fun of you.  You really believe that this is the reality you chose for yourself?  Most banks give out the loans, dank.

Where did you even come up with this?  Nothing we observe about the universe suggests that we are creating it with our own thoughts.  That's just New Age bullshit you've attached yourself to to try and convince yourself you don't need to study or work hard, and that you can have whatever you like just by wanting it.  Sorry man, shit doesn't work that way.

Hey, here's a test.  Right now, believe that the money you need is in your bank account right now.  Or just believe that your hookah bar is now complete, ready to open in the location of your choosing, then drive there and confirm.  Report back when you're done.

If the money or the hookah bar is there, then I'll drive to where you live myself and devote my life to becoming your disciple.  If not, then this "What you believe is true" horseshit is obviously false, and you need to get grounded in reality and start taking the damned good advice you've been getting in both of these threads.

I will give you this much, belief counts for a lot.  I'm in my dream job right now.  Granted, getting the job was a matter of pure dumb luck, but now that I'm in it, I'm moving up fast.  I believe I can do it, and that belief drives me to work really damned hard.  That's the key, dank, and that's what you're trying to avoid.  You want success for free. 

You want belief to be the only work required of you, and I'm sorry, that isn't going to happen. It is, in fact, already not happening. You are going to have to work, and there is a right way to open a business like the one you want.  Just believing your way is right does not make it so.  You can't just half-ass this, dank.  You have to do the research, you have to do the footwork, and you have to answer a lot of really tough questions before anyone is going to give you money.  If you tell a prospective investor that your plan is to believe your way to success (which you have already done; everyone here is a potential investor), they'll laugh in your face and move on to someone who can give them solid proof that they will return the money.