-Satoshihell-Debt-Don't Lend to me-

[Lurk]

Relevant facts:

• I cannot repay my current bitcoin debt
• I am addicted to gambling
• I cannot control myself
• I will pay back every loan over time

I'm sorry. I will pay everyone back as I buy bitcoin.

   I can't stop with the satoshidice. That game is evil. I really thought I was going to hit "big" one day. Every time I would hit big, the standard would raise until I lost control. Big became bigger. I was paying every loan off quickly and was satisfied with the profits + 10 to 20btc.
   
  Every time I paid off my loans I would end up losing my profits on bitzino, satoshidice and seals with clubs.
I would get another loan and do the same, until I couldn't repay. I asked for a year long debt consolidation to a payment that I could manage.
  Got more loans and eventually was 100% debt free with a pretty hefty profit.
I lost all the profits. Every loan I have out with anyone right now has been a failure. I thought I was invincible but I kept losing. Until now. I've got to stop this. Its already way out of control.

 I was addicted to online poker for years when I was younger. They made it illegal to play to U.S.A. players.
After awhile the urge went away and I thought it was under control.
  I was layed off from my job in June. I was desperate and found bitcoin while searching for ways to make money from home. I was fascinated with bitcoin right away but soon found out my 8 year old laptop wasn't going to generate any bitcoins. I started seeking loans.

 I started winning and the compulsive behavior started coming back. I could play online poker again....It felt great.

Up until now. I feel horrible. I'm sorry and I will repay the loans over time as I can.

I lost control.

Do not lend to me anymore.

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[repentance]

I'm not sure that potential lenders are going to see this in Off-topic.  Maybe you should post it in the forums where you normally seek loans.  You should probably see about getting the gambling services to ban your account, too.

I'm sure the US has assistance available for problem gamblers.  I'd highly recommend seeking help.

[SRoulette]

So sorry to hear, I suggest sticking to the free tournaments on the poker sites.
I do think its the great danger of blockchain.info having SatoshiDice built into your wallet.

I hope to hear that your gainfully employed soon

[stochastic]

Call this number when you feel the urge.

1-800-522-4700

[thebaron]

You'll have to replace the urge with something productive where you actually make money. I "gamble" on buying stuff to resell for much more than I paid. Still get the thrill, and I get to pay my bills.

[BitCoiner2012]

Amazing post.

[BurtW]

What is your total debt at this time?  How long will it take you to pay it all off?

[Lurk]

btcjam debt = 92.25btc

debt to a forum member = 83btc

total= 175.25btc

It shames me to even look at those numbers.

Being currently unemployed I don't really know how long it will take. Too long.

I can't believe I've done this.

I was so desperate I lied to the forum member about what the loan was for.

He trusted me enough to lend such a big amount and now I feel terrible. I don't know his financial situation but I can't stop worrying and thinking of how this will effect him.

This whole relapse has been a blur...a roller coaster of ups and downs.

At some point I lost my ability to identify bitcoin as money.  The U.S.D equivalent really didnt hit me until it was too late and too deep. I never cashed out so I didn't gain U.S.D.   I felt like I was playing game tokens after awhile and since I did not work, earn or buy the coins it was easy to throw them around.

Its going to take some time to make this right but I'm going to do my best to fix this.

I'm also calling gamblers anonymous tomorrow.

Now that the ride has ended I recognize what a problem my gambling has become. Its never a big enough win. EVER.

I never meant for things to end up like this but it did. The only thing I can do now is stop gambling and pay back the loans.

hopefully this post will stop someone else from repeating my mistake.

I dont believe I'm ready for bitcoins yet. Its ironic how a search about how to make money at home led to this outcome.

[Justin00]

you should feel proud of yourself that you are stopping now. I'm sure it would be easy to get another loan, so your doing a great job if you do stop.

so yeah, great job on the stopping and this thread :]

wish you the best of luck

[davout]

Your honesty honors you.

If you want to stay safe you might want to ask for a scammer tag, it'll make it much harder for you to borrow money on these forums without creating some sort of sock-puppet account.

Just put a link in your sig explaining why you have the tag.

[Lurk]

I requested a tag. Thanks for the advice.

[Lurk]

Total Transactions    12445    
Total Received    16161.82241607 BTC    
Total Sent    16161.82093528 BTC
Final Balance    0.00148079 BTC

seriously, I need help.

[AndrewBUD]

That's a bunch of coins. Good luck to you.

[davout]

Total Transactions    12445    
Total Received    16161.82241607 BTC    
Total Sent    16161.82093528 BTC
Final Balance    0.00148079 BTC

seriously, I need help.

You're not ending up with that much debt compared to what actually circulated.

[naypalm]

Wow, I think I was only able to generate 60 last june and bought 35, I can't even imagine having 16,000 and then gamble it all away.

That sucks man.  

[Akka]

Wow, I think I was only able to generate 60 last june and bought 35, I can't even imagine having 16,000 and then gamble it all away.

That sucks man.  

Satoshi dice is a pretty fair game with a house edge just above 1.5%. Maening on average for every 1BTC you send you get 0.95 BTC back. So to make 16.000 BTC in transactions with this game you only need about 240BTC until it's all gone.

@Lurk

I can understand you problem, that's why I never even touched Satoshi dice or any online gamble site.

I was once in a real casino and thought I will play with a view 100 bucks, one time you can afford this.

I walked out and had gambled away 2.500€ which luckily was my credit card limit, other way it would have been even more.

When I got out, I had this F*** what have I just done feeling that you probably just have

Never stepped into a casino since then.

[Yuhfhrh]

I took some time and said a prayer for you. PM me an address and I will also send you a bitcoin. I hope everything goes well for you.

[AndrewBUD]

I don't think he had 16,000 coins.. That would be a total of in and out TX's?

[nobbynobbynoob]

Wow Lurk, thank you for your extraordinary honesty and thank you even more for paying me back the small loan on BTCjam.

I wish you the very best in fixing your predicament (and hope your creditors can give you a bit of breathing space!).

[RodeoX]

If you  work hard and pay this off it will be a better high than gambling. Keep at it man.

[danieldaniel]

Lurk:
I had that problem a while ago, though on a much smaller scale.  Also, I didn't take out any loans for gambling (except for when BTC was unconfirmed and I was too impatient to wait).

I know it's too late for you, but for everyone else:  DON'T TAKE OUT GAMBLING LOANS.

[Lurk]

Thank you yuhfhrh address sent. I will send the bitcoin to my lender right away. I can't explain my appreciation in words.

[DannyM]

hang in there bro

[Yuhfhrh]

Thank you yuhfhrh address sent. I will send the bitcoin to my lender right away. I can't explain my appreciation in words.

No need to thank me, I will keep you in my prayers. 
Remember: You have free will and more than enough willpower to put your life where you want it. You can get anything accomplished.

[Lurk]

Thanks everyone. I didn't expect any kindness but you have been very understanding and helpful.

[MPOE-PR]

Amazing post.

Exactly.

OP: you should probably seek professional help. No point throwing your life away, you don't get another one.

[Rassah]

I guess your other option would have been to start a 7% investment scheme, collect enough money from investors to pay off your debts, and dissapear/get hacked/claim you invested in someone else who recently failed. Oh well. Yay for taking the high road 

[John (John K.)]

I'm really tempted to sticky this in the Gambling subforum now.
 
OP, you're a man to stand up for your losses. You will be a better man after all of this is settled - the monetary loss is nothing compared from what you've gained.

[JohnBigheart]

Respect for the coming out. You just made a huge step in the right direction.

Chin up: 175.25 BTC is not the abyss. It's actually fairly low as far as gambling losses can go. Also there are worse people to owe money to then bitcoin forum members.
You stopped at the right time and you should be able to come out debt free in a couple of months.
Keep going!

[BTCKnowledge]

Perhaps you should substitute your gambling thrill with another, less self-desctructive path. Or at least less expensive

[2weiX]

You'll have to replace the urge with something productive where you actually make money. I "gamble" on buying stuff to resell for much more than I paid. Still get the thrill, and I get to pay my bills.

advice of the day.

[Bitcoin Oz]

I will ask this only once. Are you scabbers ?

[DannyM]

umm, what is this? https://btcjam.com/listings/682

[thebaron]

lol

[DannyM]

and another:

https://btcjam.com/listings/690

Off the wagon it seems. 1-888-GA-HELPS

[SynOps]

Well i made a mistake and lent to him.

If he contacts me before I contact him, Ill be sure to be lenient on his repayment as long as he can give me his phone number and email for contacting him.

Who knows, he may make a new friend to help him with his gambling.

[Lurk]

loan cancelled. a bit of a relapse. desperate.
 im sorry

[Xenland]

Noted and I respect you for your honesty

[elux]

I'm really tempted to sticky this in the Gambling subforum now.

Good idea.

loan cancelled. a bit of a relapse. desperate.
 im sorry