Imaginary interview with Satoshi in 2016

[Tonko]

Q:So what can you tell us about the events in April 2013?

A:Well, as some know I had several millions of Bitcoins from the very get go, when they cost me 0.00001 of ... nothing, really.
  I didn't know what to do with it, I just kept them.

  Then Mt.Gox guys came to Japan and they wanted to start an exchange. They told me they think they can sell a lot of it,
  but they needed a source of a decent quantity of BTCs, for a good upfront price.

  So we made a deal.

  I would give them a million of BTCs, but in exchange they had to guarantee me that, when I decide to sell another part of my stash,
  they would honor my request, whatever the quantity it is and whatever the market price is at that time.

  I mean, I didn't want to sell just so that they can turn around, sell them for a much better price and get filthy rich from my hard work.

  And then it happened. I swear I didn't expect it to skyrocket! Not so fast anyway.
 
  So I had these issues:
  a) - people obviously wanted my BitCoins and I still had a good chunk of them. How was I to distribute my BitCoins to the people?
  b) - market needed a correction. A price had to stabilize. Somebody had to teach the kids that it is not real life. How was I to do that?
  c) - all these morons were making money, hand over fist, all from the fruits of my labor.
    
  I mean, if you think that I was greedy what would you think if I waited until the coin was, like, $1,000 USD?
  
  So you see, I had to do it. For the good of the people and for my own good.

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[Mike Christ]

2016?  Is Satoshi running for president?

I'd vote for him

[botlove]

you joke, but that was my theory for yesterday's situation.

today's situation is somebody that was waiting in the wings to piggy back off an old timer selling a chunk off

[Tonko]

...noise in the background at the end of the interview ...

Satoshi San, where are the keys of the rainy Friday morning Lamborghini?