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Author Topic: Do you have difficulty saying no?  (Read 734 times)
jaibster
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August 12, 2017, 03:05:12 PM
 #1

Am I the only one who can't just say no? Even if I say no, I can't stop feeling guilty about it.
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Daniel91
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August 12, 2017, 03:11:23 PM
 #2

Its often difficult to say ''no'' to close friends, relatives, family etc.
At such moments, you should stop and think what is the best for that person.
If the right action is to deny request or say ''no'' try to explain it in the right way, without hurting feelings.
This will not work every time but try Smiley

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August 12, 2017, 03:17:55 PM
 #3

Me not much, but I hear a lot of people talk about this problem. Most of the complaints I hear was from family and office situations. Culture also seem to have an effect.

In some cultures it's considered a bit awkward to say no to requests (some even consider accepting complements rude). In these cultures you make excuses instead and the one asking for the favor should notice this as a rejection without having "no" said to his face. Of course the problem is this is high context communication and the requester may fail to notice subtleties.

Also, there's the problem that even when you successfully rejected a request, you'll then worry how it would affect your relationship with the rejected party.

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August 12, 2017, 03:19:04 PM
 #4

I say no to drugs, but they don't listen, because drugs don't have ears


Seriously though... rather than saying no... try suggesting an alternative (it's much easier)

Someone: "Can you give me a ride to church"
Me: "Maybe Bob could give you a ride since he already goes to your church"

Someone: "Can you spare some change?"
Me: "If you help me wash my car I'll pay you $5" (they'll say no, don't worry... beggars want a free handout, not a job)

TheCoinGrabber
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August 12, 2017, 06:13:30 PM
 #5

Well we all got this problem at least once in our lives. We just need to get used to saying "no". No need to make excuses. Just say "no" and whatever feel like you need to say. Handling rejections is an important life skill, just think that you are giving them a valuable lesson.
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August 12, 2017, 06:43:12 PM
 #6

yes sometimes it is
it was difficult for me to say no to my girl and at the end she broke up with me Sad
jaibster
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August 12, 2017, 07:30:28 PM
 #7

yes sometimes it is
it was difficult for me to say no to my girl and at the end she broke up with me Sad
that's messed up.
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August 12, 2017, 07:37:01 PM
 #8

its normal i also share the same sentiment until i realized that people are not worth stressing yourself always to please.
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August 12, 2017, 08:29:19 PM
 #9

not any more. if you don't say no then people will keep exploiting that over and over again until it's time to get rid of them.

no is healthy and no is necessary. you can't accommodate everyone and everything.

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August 12, 2017, 08:54:43 PM
 #10

You need to be more assertive OP.
I don't find it hard to say no. On the contrary, I'm doing it more often than I should. If somebody is asking me for  something and it happens to be inconvenient for me i'm calculating pros and cons of doing it. If it's not worth my time i decline and move on. I have no regrets because I'm selfish Smiley Life is short and I have only one.


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winterland
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August 12, 2017, 08:58:00 PM
 #11

not any more. if you don't say no then people will keep exploiting that over and over again until it's time to get rid of them.

no is healthy and no is necessary. you can't accommodate everyone and everything.
Basically this, you need to think about yourself, there is nothing wrong helping people and all of that but there is nothing wrong with being a little bit selfish at times, also there are people that like to take advantage of this and do not stop asking for all kind of stuff, just look at Homer and Ned Flanders of The Simpsons.
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August 12, 2017, 11:11:32 PM
 #12

Am I the only one who can't just say no? Even if I say no, I can't stop feeling guilty about it.
It takes a very strong man to say no especially to family and friends, I believe one must practice the act of saying no to people at times, Humans are in a way that they will pushover you when they realise that you can't say no to them and likely take advantage of you at every turn.

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August 13, 2017, 12:01:48 AM
 #13

Am I the only one who can't just say no? Even if I say no, I can't stop feeling guilty about it.

I do,Sometimes I always say "yes" too easy to everyone who asks for my help, sometimes sometimes without knowing what they are asking for. In the end, I often do the things I can not do. But on the bright side, people get so close to me.

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August 13, 2017, 12:28:51 AM
 #14

Yes I have the same problem. I'm always scared of disappointing people and I always want to please everyone. I know that its impossible to please everyone but I try my best so it makes me say yes to any request.

Sometimes its abused but I just genuinely care for them. 

Learn to love yourself and say no when its too much.

helars2008
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August 13, 2017, 12:59:14 AM
 #15

Yes....
I tend to have that kind of attitude too.
I find it difficult to resist/neglect the request of my friends.
Eventhough i know it would be hard for me to accomplish their request...
There were also times that i am the one who suffers the consequences because of my acceptance to their problems...

albusseverus1224
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August 13, 2017, 01:16:14 AM
 #16

Yes, for almost everyone that i know. That's one of my weaknesses, everyone can count on me, they can ask me anything any favor, but sometimes in return i end up seeing my self whose the one who can't count on them. I can't ask them a favor, maybe because of my shyness. Maybe my weaknesses came from myself. I just have to improve my self in that so i can take and say NO to anyone.
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August 13, 2017, 08:32:14 AM
 #17

Am I the only one who can't just say no? Even if I say no, I can't stop feeling guilty about it.
Sometimes, it is needed to talk a word it is not but only to those people that became insolent and use your kindness and understanding. If a man sincerely needs your help, then he is difficult to say no and say it is not.
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August 13, 2017, 08:57:04 AM
 #18

Yes sometimes it is not pleasant to see the disappointed face and it is not a good feeling that I let them down, although sometimes they already accepted the reasons, but it just feel not right, but sometimes there are things that out of reach and like it or not we must able to say no

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August 13, 2017, 12:25:52 PM
 #19

I am the type of person who is too often say yes to the people. I can say no to people, but sometimes there's regret after that, regret has refused when someone needs me. Well, often saying yes is not a bad thing.

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August 13, 2017, 12:30:54 PM
 #20

Am I the only one who can't just say no? Even if I say no, I can't stop feeling guilty about it.

For me it's not hard to say "no", I don't know when I did I stop caring about what other people would say about my actions. I'm not the type of person who lives to please others. So, whenever I don't feel like doing something, it's not hard for me to say no. If I really feel like doing something on the first place, people wouldn't even need to say a word, I will just do it on my own.

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