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Author Topic: How to Become a Bitcoin Investor in 8 Easy Steps (comic relief)  (Read 3501 times)
louong
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June 28, 2013, 02:36:16 AM
 #21

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?

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June 28, 2013, 03:18:03 AM
 #22

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?

You forgot my blog, tsukino.ca.
louong
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June 28, 2013, 03:33:30 AM
 #23

6. Gather a clique of fanbois who foolishy invested with you to promote the stock
7. Run a private IRC channel to plan your assault on anyone who dares challenge your greatness
8. Collect the money and run
9. Once the scheme collapses and investors lose 60-99% of their money respond to every complaint with "You don't like how I do things?  Sell your shares!"

I've seen number 9 as the end game nearly every time.  Erik Vorhees was just giving a version of that line this month.

10. It doesn't matter how many mistakes/failed issues you've had in the past. All is forgiven and should be. Questions about the past are ignored/brushed aside as irrelevant and changing the topic. Let's keep the topic on the current issue please.
11. When questioned about lofty valuation or high management fees, appear to be above it all and try to justify it with as many reasons as possible. Including that it's a lot of work and time commitment. Never talk about the real reason why your issue has unjustified valuation or management fees, which is really that you want to MAKE MONEY.
12. Create press releases on a regular schedule to bump your own issue thread. It doesn't matter if the press release has any substance to it, so long as it has a decent amount of text. Be mysterious and create suspense/hype as you drop hints about future exciting announcements/press releases, also using these to bump your own thread.

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tinus42
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June 28, 2013, 03:50:56 AM
 #24

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?

6. Gather a clique of fanbois who foolishy invested with you to promote the stock
7. Run a private IRC channel to plan your assault on anyone who dares challenge your greatness
8. Collect the money and run
9. Once the scheme collapses and investors lose 60-99% of their money respond to every complaint with "You don't like how I do things?  Sell your shares!"

I've seen number 9 as the end game nearly every time.  Erik Vorhees was just giving a version of that line this month.

He should have changed his first name to Jason to fit in better. Grin
Diamondstarfall
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June 28, 2013, 03:52:23 AM
 #25

6. Gather a clique of fanbois who foolishy invested with you to promote the stock
7. Run a private IRC channel to plan your assault on anyone who dares challenge your greatness
8. Collect the money and run
9. Once the scheme collapses and investors lose 60-99% of their money respond to every complaint with "You don't like how I do things?  Sell your shares!"

I've seen number 9 as the end game nearly every time.  Erik Vorhees was just giving a version of that line this month.

10. It doesn't matter how many mistakes/failed issues you've had in the past. All is forgiven and should be. Questions about the past are ignored/brushed aside as irrelevant and changing the topic. Let's keep the topic on the current issue please.
11. When questioned about lofty valuation or high management fees, appear to be above it all and try to justify it with as many reasons as possible. Including that it's a lot of work and time commitment. Never talk about the real reason why your issue has unjustified valuation or management fees, which is really that you want to MAKE MONEY.
12. Create press releases on a regular schedule to bump your own issue thread. It doesn't matter if the press release has any substance to it, so long as it has a decent amount of text. Be mysterious and create suspense/hype as you drop hints about future exciting announcements/press releases, also using these to bump your own thread.

Give me an A, give me an M, give me a C!
louong
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June 28, 2013, 04:40:40 AM
 #26

6. Gather a clique of fanbois who foolishy invested with you to promote the stock

13. You don't actually need to do any work creating the fanbois - the fanbois will come.

All you need to do is to create a semi-decent thread in bitcointalk->Securities and then get your issue as quick as possible on either BTCTC or BitFunder ASAP.

The moment you get your issue officially on either exchange then you are now in the clear.

Success! Your issue is now trading, you are now "legit" and the fanbois will come from your initial purchasers. And with each post you add to your thread, you will have the added security of your fanbois attacking detractors and defending you, making your work easier.

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louong
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June 28, 2013, 08:18:58 AM
 #27

you seriously underestimate how organized an activity it is.  Many promoters are running private chat rooms where they plot strategy and direct their 'troops'

Perhaps, but there's always a source of fresh recruits you'll get automatically get once they've bought in and have a stake in the program.

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MPOE-PR
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June 28, 2013, 01:08:39 PM
 #28

I think we're headed back to mid-2012 GLBSE era.  Where everyone gets to run a security and the possibilites (for losing money) for investors are endless.

What I don't know is why you're encouraging the shit.

If the exchanges don't self regulate, you will see outside regulators come down hard, just like they have landed on Gox.

That's nonthink.

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?

This is actually a good point, especially 5.

It's so rare these days I end up impressed with the posts of new users. Well done.

10. It doesn't matter how many mistakes/failed issues you've had in the past. All is forgiven and should be. Questions about the past are ignored/brushed aside as irrelevant and changing the topic. Let's keep the topic on the current issue please.

Yeah. Jared Kenna is still going to conferences, and people sit down with the guy. Fabulous.

Dudes, I love what you've done with this thread.

you seriously underestimate how organized an activity it is.  Many promoters are running private chat rooms where they plot strategy and direct their 'troops'

Details, please.

Perhaps, but there's always a source of fresh recruits you'll get automatically get once they've bought in and have a stake in the program.

And then the idiots get broken and MtGox creates a new bubble and a new set of muppets gets sucked in and it starts over. EXACTLY the same.

And I've been trying to hammer this shit system that everyone else tolerates (Gavin, yes, you too!) because "have to be nice" or because "getting a cut" or because too stupid to think or for whatever other reason. And so has MP, for longer than I have (actually that's precisely why he's paying me to be here).

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And more generally, a notice to all the scumbags circling BTC : I don't care that you're poor, I don't care if you're desperate, I don't care if you're Ndrangheta or the Gambinos or the Bonanos or the Russians or whoever the fuck else. Pack it and move. This is your only warning, and quite frankly I have no ideea why warnings are even necessary. Bitcoin is not for idiots. That means you.

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silvermario
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July 12, 2013, 11:07:59 PM
 #29

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?

Simply brilliant, point # 5: Bjørn Furuknap who called me an idiot when I asked him to stop trolling 100th investment thread and to go back to his thread where he was trying to sell his 20 BTC Metabank ASIC  as a "mining bond" for 400 BTC
SOSLOVE868
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July 12, 2013, 11:42:29 PM
 #30

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?
Exactly suited to Furuknap ,especially the 4 and 5....
SOSLOVE868
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July 12, 2013, 11:43:45 PM
 #31

Someone should do How to Become a Bitcoin Securities Issuer in 8 Easy Steps

1. Come up with an edgy name that sounds shady or has shady elements (i.e. Pirate, Nefario, Thieves, Diablo, PsychoticBoy, DeadTerra, Slaughter, Nasty, Deprived)
2. If not an edgy name, have a weird name (i.e. friedcat, usagi)
3. Have character and an ego. Have a blog that shows that you are edgy/weird (i.e. Mircea Popescu, furuknap)
4. Be able to write a slick first post of a thread with lots of hype and basically imply that if someone doesn't invest with you they are missing out BIG TIME. Basically be a great salesman.
5. Be able to spend x # of hours on bitcointalk so that you can defend your security/securities against a) other issuers and b) experienced investors. It does not really matter the content of your posts so long as your posts have enough text to seem to make sense. And also you tend to get the last word in.

Anything else?

Simply brilliant, point # 5: Bjørn Furuknap who called me an idiot when I asked him to stop trolling 100th investment thread and to go back to his thread where he was trying to sell his 20 BTC Metabank ASIC  as a "mining bond" for 400 BTC
This also what he called me... Give me Five ,mate.
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