Tell us a joke....

[jdebunt]

Hey guys,

we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?

If you found a joke real funny, feel free to tip that person (if they posted their wallet)

Alright, here is mine, not going to start too strong.....

"A few days ago , i spent some time with a farmer. He had two chickens : a black one and a dog..."


Tips welcome in XPM : AQX6i7jWKZk3WchULwFybcFfGYTHtYRn2u
                     CMC : C4YYn5AA3obFsR958seUK4y5gySvYSh9bj
                     BTC : 1AYyCPUQRVH6HLG8p6hvuxvCqjuM57JMh5

[Come-from-Beyond]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, "Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen."
The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you."

[QuestionAuthority]

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

[Vod]

Joey.

[jackjack]

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

[Damnsammit]

How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.

Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.

What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork

Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...


(I'm going to hell)

[adworker]

Programming is a lot like a sex.
One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime.

[FiNaLize]

Phenix coin and its supporters

[oser41eric]

How are we supposed to hack your system if it's always down!

[Gimpeline]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"

[Ardenyham]

I don't know why the Oscars needs a best actor and actress category. You don't separate best director and best directress.

[ferda2mx]

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX

[Boelens]

BFL

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Josh, sitting at the bar, is complaining about the worse mixed drink he's ever had, demanding a refund. The bartender informs Josh that since happy hour is over and that the establishment in now in full production, there will be no further refunds, whereby Josh retorts, "Wait till Phinnaeus hears about your piece of shit bar operated by a monumental asshole!"

[n691309]

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

[co5hike]

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

[MrHempstock]

Horse walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

[honky1492]

I love cats – they taste just like chicken.

[EscrowBTC]

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

Good one! 

Here's another joke:

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

[Phinnaeus Gage]

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

Good one! 

Here's another joke:

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

Whereupon Officer Josh refunds the Man's ticket because he didn't want the courts polluted with his ilk. O.J. hands back the Man's DL and said, "Drive home carefully to your neighborhood of monumental assholes."