They auto generate it according to the policies you choose in response to whatever issue your country has. The biker gangs and high crime is because I refuse to allow monopolist thugs to run protection rackets under the guise of 'policing.'
college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys
That's because I legalized selling organs
an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents.
because I allow gay adoption.
'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song.
Because I don't make people jump through hoops if they want to get a divorce.
The deforestation and "inhospitable landscape" is because we have a 100% free market.
My latest issue:
The Police department is considering installing surveillance cameras in all major public areas, in an effort to crack down on crime.
1. "This is a blatant invasion of the right to privacy!" says libertarian web site operator Klaus Barry. "Now I can't even go out in public any more without being watched? And you know this is just the beginning. Today there are cameras in city streets. Tomorrow they're peering through your bedroom window."
2. "Hey, I've got news for you," says Police media liaison Violet Licorish. "When you're out in public, PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. These cameras will be extremely helpful in reducing the national crime rate. Frankly, I can't see what the fuss is about."
3. "This 'slippery slope' argument has got me thinking," says Police Minister Jean-Paul Barry. "You know, it would be a lot easier to fight crime if we watched people all the time. Not with cameras, of course. That's clearly an invasion of privacy. But how about a national database of our citizens, coupled with compulsory ID cards and barcoding? It would stop crime dead in its tracks."
I'm expecting crime levels to skyrocket as a result of my policies