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Author Topic: Does becoming a parent changes the gambler?  (Read 586 times)
michkima
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March 23, 2018, 03:35:47 AM
 #61

As a new parent myself, I would say yes. Why you ask. For a few very important reasons like:

1. When you didn't have a child, you can lose everything and just go about your life without anyone you need to support. That child will need money to live and if you can't provide that then he/she will not be live a good life.
2. You have to think about the future of your child.
3. As a parent you have to be a role model.

Generally, it all boils down to saving money for the present and the future of your child.
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March 23, 2018, 10:28:52 AM
 #62

It depends on the person and his mentality of responsibility and parenthood. Some addict gamblers when they become a parent, they might minimize their gambling activity or even possibly stopped when they came to realize that they must give priority to the children and to the family, in terms of attention and money matters as well. Those are family oriented persons who put family first above all things😊 so yes becoming a parent could possibly change a gambler.
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March 23, 2018, 11:05:03 AM
 #63

As a new parent myself, I would say yes. Why you ask. For a few very important reasons like:

1. When you didn't have a child, you can lose everything and just go about your life without anyone you need to support. That child will need money to live and if you can't provide that then he/she will not be live a good life.

Well, dunno if your wife would be happy about you gambling away your house Cheesy

I get the other points though
And it's not whether it could change a gambler, but that it should..

 
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March 23, 2018, 11:20:35 AM
 #64

Genes have nothing to do with gambling or addiction. It is all related to the psychological nature of the human being. There are many sons who are not like their fathers. Their fathers are addicted to smoking, their sons do not smoke at all. It is their own will and choice whether or not to follow their fathers' path. And if his dad does not want him to fall into gambling addiction, then he should raise him in the right way and teach him the bad effects of gambling, and eventually, it will be his decision.

 
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March 23, 2018, 11:30:22 AM
 #65

Genes have nothing to do with gambling or addiction. It is all related to the psychological nature of the human being. There are many sons who are not like their fathers. Their fathers are addicted to smoking, their sons do not smoke at all. It is their own will and choice whether or not to follow their fathers' path. And if his dad does not want him to fall into gambling addiction, then he should raise him in the right way and teach him the bad effects of gambling, and eventually, it will be his decision.

It could have a small part in it, there are certain genes that can make you more prone to taking risks
However, the kid should see gambling differently then his father.
It's a matter of upbringing..
But yeah, some things can make you more prone to doing something.

 
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March 23, 2018, 11:45:51 AM
 #66

This was the discussion topic we were having last night, a bunch of gambling friends and one of them an expecting dad. There were counter arguments that his child also would turn out a gambler like he is.

The arguments were that it is his in his gene and that'll pass on to his child, since every one in his family was a gambler.

The counter argument was that the child would make a logical decision and genes won't play any part in this.

Which brought us to another important question what if turns out a gambler would they both play together. Would he be comfortable?

Amid this he walked out and texted me he didn't wish to gamble anymore, so wanted your views on this.

First of I want say that I agree with those who said that inclination to gambling can't be inherent. Secondly, kids when they grow up tend to behave in contradiction to what their parents do. For example if parents smoke their kids don't smoke and vice versa. I know there are other opinions on this, but that's what I know from my experience. From what you have written I have an impression that your friends were joking mostly and also that none of you is actually an addicted gambler. And that's a good thing. Keep it healthy, guys. Gambling can be fun if you don't let it ruin your life.

In many cases children don't follow parents patterns when they see it in a negative way, in a traumatic way. For an example: If the child has negative memories about the parents drunken, he will probably stay away from alcohol. The same can happen about gambling, but if there aren't negative memories about parents + gambling, there are higher chances this child will gamble too.

But we can't predict it, the child may gamble or may not gamble, it's a surprise and everything parents can do is to be prepared to deal with this situation better as possible if it happens.

The worst thing parents can do for their kids is telling them to stay away from gambling because it's a known fact that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. It is much better imo to let them play in the early age, to let them lose $10 and then to explain them that gambling is about losing your money. Thus after losing $10 while in their childhood they will be protected from losing thousands of USD, years later when they become adults.

Well i don't think it's a good idea to expose your children to gambling espexially that they're not earning  their own money. They still don't know the importance of proper spending and if they see it as a game to enjoy, you probably would risk having your kids ask for money for gambling. There are a whole lot of alternatives you can you teach your kids you know

I know, but as a parent of two I can say, sounds good doesn't work. If you force-feed your kids with knowledge all the time, they will most likely start rejecting it at some point, however useful that knowledge might be for them. Teaching your kids that gambling will never make them rich using the examples of their own playing is better than just forbidding the thing imo.

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March 23, 2018, 12:56:01 PM
 #67

This was the discussion topic we were having last night, a bunch of gambling friends and one of them an expecting dad. There were counter arguments that his child also would turn out a gambler like he is.

The arguments were that it is his in his gene and that'll pass on to his child, since every one in his family was a gambler.

The counter argument was that the child would make a logical decision and genes won't play any part in this.

Which brought us to another important question what if turns out a gambler would they both play together. Would he be comfortable?

Amid this he walked out and texted me he didn't wish to gamble anymore, so wanted your views on this.
Well, because what they saw to their parents where they will be also. Will no father like his son become anger to him because he is addicted in gambling. So, I think that that man is really worth of his family he love his family his son because he chooses to quit.
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March 23, 2018, 02:50:29 PM
 #68

Well, it goes both ways. There are times when you are pro-gambling before becoming a parent then later on becoming a parent made you anti-gambling. On the other side, there are times when you are anti-gambling prior to becoming a parent but then later on you become pro-gambling when you reached parenthood. As to the latter, it may be because you are in dire need of easy money to answer for emergencies, necessaries, and whatnot. So you see, you may want to have a good understanding as to both so you fully understand where these people are coming from. There sure are reasons behind every decision to gamble or to not gamble; let us not to be too stereotypical about it.
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March 23, 2018, 05:05:14 PM
 #69

Well, do you think when a father is a gambler, and his son becomes a gambler too , by passing the gene for him?
Absolutely not, this is a wrong argument. and for me, in reality, the son is always influenced by his father( especially when he is  young or child), and  when he sees his father loves gambling, then he becomes imitated about him.

Furthermore, I see that many fathers want his sons to become like him, and that's the widespread  problem in many families. and it is true that the father is the first hero for his son but the child must be free to choose his destiny and deciding his future by himself.
So if I am a gambler, I will not affect my child to become like me.

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March 23, 2018, 08:51:37 PM
Merited by Betwrong (1)
 #70

This was the discussion topic we were having last night, a bunch of gambling friends and one of them an expecting dad. There were counter arguments that his child also would turn out a gambler like he is.

The arguments were that it is his in his gene and that'll pass on to his child, since every one in his family was a gambler.

The counter argument was that the child would make a logical decision and genes won't play any part in this.

Which brought us to another important question what if turns out a gambler would they both play together. Would he be comfortable?

Amid this he walked out and texted me he didn't wish to gamble anymore, so wanted your views on this.

First of I want say that I agree with those who said that inclination to gambling can't be inherent. Secondly, kids when they grow up tend to behave in contradiction to what their parents do. For example if parents smoke their kids don't smoke and vice versa. I know there are other opinions on this, but that's what I know from my experience. From what you have written I have an impression that your friends were joking mostly and also that none of you is actually an addicted gambler. And that's a good thing. Keep it healthy, guys. Gambling can be fun if you don't let it ruin your life.

In many cases children don't follow parents patterns when they see it in a negative way, in a traumatic way. For an example: If the child has negative memories about the parents drunken, he will probably stay away from alcohol. The same can happen about gambling, but if there aren't negative memories about parents + gambling, there are higher chances this child will gamble too.

But we can't predict it, the child may gamble or may not gamble, it's a surprise and everything parents can do is to be prepared to deal with this situation better as possible if it happens.

The worst thing parents can do for their kids is telling them to stay away from gambling because it's a known fact that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. It is much better imo to let them play in the early age, to let them lose $10 and then to explain them that gambling is about losing your money. Thus after losing $10 while in their childhood they will be protected from losing thousands of USD, years later when they become adults.

Well i don't think it's a good idea to expose your children to gambling espexially that they're not earning  their own money. They still don't know the importance of proper spending and if they see it as a game to enjoy, you probably would risk having your kids ask for money for gambling. There are a whole lot of alternatives you can you teach your kids you know

I know, but as a parent of two I can say, sounds good doesn't work. If you force-feed your kids with knowledge all the time, they will most likely start rejecting it at some point, however useful that knowledge might be for them. Teaching your kids that gambling will never make them rich using the examples of their own playing is better than just forbidding the thing imo.
I also believe that children should never be burdened with what we think is best for them. They should be allowed to explore and understand the world by their own. Every individual has his own way of perceiving thing, let them see the world from their own eyes. All we can do is let them know the harms of gambling and leave the decision of adopting it or not to the kids. They will learn and grow by experiments and mistakes.

 
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March 23, 2018, 09:18:10 PM
 #71

No. I do not think it does because if the father is going gambling then more likely the wife will too making it a family affair.
The kids stay home while the mother makes sure the father doesn't lose all their money at the casino and also making sure he stays honest and doesn't cheat on her with a cocktail waitress. Cheesy
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March 23, 2018, 11:41:31 PM
 #72

This was the discussion topic we were having last night, a bunch of gambling friends and one of them an expecting dad. There were counter arguments that his child also would turn out a gambler like he is.

The arguments were that it is his in his gene and that'll pass on to his child, since every one in his family was a gambler.

The counter argument was that the child would make a logical decision and genes won't play any part in this.

Which brought us to another important question what if turns out a gambler would they both play together. Would he be comfortable?

Amid this he walked out and texted me he didn't wish to gamble anymore, so wanted your views on this.
Well, because what they saw to their parents where they will be also. Will no father like his son become anger to him because he is addicted in gambling. So, I think that that man is really worth of his family he love his family his son because he chooses to quit.
Yes, there something like that but mostly gamblers will stop or minimize gambling activity if they already become a parents because being a parents there's more responsibility that need to do especially in taking care for the children, so even though gamblers properly manage their time to balance their time for family and gambling but still at the end family will be prioritized and mostly gambling will be minimized.

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March 24, 2018, 04:46:14 AM
 #73

This was the discussion topic we were having last night, a bunch of gambling friends and one of them an expecting dad. There were counter arguments that his child also would turn out a gambler like he is.

The arguments were that it is his in his gene and that'll pass on to his child, since every one in his family was a gambler.

The counter argument was that the child would make a logical decision and genes won't play any part in this.

Which brought us to another important question what if turns out a gambler would they both play together. Would he be comfortable?

Amid this he walked out and texted me he didn't wish to gamble anymore, so wanted your views on this.
Well, because what they saw to their parents where they will be also. Will no father like his son become anger to him because he is addicted in gambling. So, I think that that man is really worth of his family he love his family his son because he chooses to quit.
Yes, there something like that but mostly gamblers will stop or minimize gambling activity if they already become a parents because being a parents there's more responsibility that need to do especially in taking care for the children, so even though gamblers properly manage their time to balance their time for family and gambling but still at the end family will be prioritized and mostly gambling will be minimized.
Responsible person will do that, minimizing or totally quitting this activity for the sake of their child will be the first priority, being a parents with love  definitely attached yourself with your family, you will do everything for their betterment in life, it will include to do some hard work to make sure that you will be able to sustain their needs, but in the other hand, there's also some people who doesn't care about this those who are too much addicted will not think of anything but keep continuing ruin their life inside this activity.
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March 24, 2018, 07:00:18 AM
 #74

Because once the person became a parents, he have the responsibility to take good care of his family including his kids, so I guess some gamblers might want to spend his hard earn money for his family rather than using this money to play in the casino again, as he might stand a chance to loss all the money away on a losing streak.

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March 24, 2018, 11:38:42 AM
 #75

This was the discussion topic we were having last night, a bunch of gambling friends and one of them an expecting dad. There were counter arguments that his child also would turn out a gambler like he is.

The arguments were that it is his in his gene and that'll pass on to his child, since every one in his family was a gambler.

The counter argument was that the child would make a logical decision and genes won't play any part in this.

Which brought us to another important question what if turns out a gambler would they both play together. Would he be comfortable?

Amid this he walked out and texted me he didn't wish to gamble anymore, so wanted your views on this.

First of I want say that I agree with those who said that inclination to gambling can't be inherent. Secondly, kids when they grow up tend to behave in contradiction to what their parents do. For example if parents smoke their kids don't smoke and vice versa. I know there are other opinions on this, but that's what I know from my experience. From what you have written I have an impression that your friends were joking mostly and also that none of you is actually an addicted gambler. And that's a good thing. Keep it healthy, guys. Gambling can be fun if you don't let it ruin your life.

In many cases children don't follow parents patterns when they see it in a negative way, in a traumatic way. For an example: If the child has negative memories about the parents drunken, he will probably stay away from alcohol. The same can happen about gambling, but if there aren't negative memories about parents + gambling, there are higher chances this child will gamble too.

But we can't predict it, the child may gamble or may not gamble, it's a surprise and everything parents can do is to be prepared to deal with this situation better as possible if it happens.

The worst thing parents can do for their kids is telling them to stay away from gambling because it's a known fact that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. It is much better imo to let them play in the early age, to let them lose $10 and then to explain them that gambling is about losing your money. Thus after losing $10 while in their childhood they will be protected from losing thousands of USD, years later when they become adults.

Well i don't think it's a good idea to expose your children to gambling espexially that they're not earning  their own money. They still don't know the importance of proper spending and if they see it as a game to enjoy, you probably would risk having your kids ask for money for gambling. There are a whole lot of alternatives you can you teach your kids you know

I know, but as a parent of two I can say, sounds good doesn't work. If you force-feed your kids with knowledge all the time, they will most likely start rejecting it at some point, however useful that knowledge might be for them. Teaching your kids that gambling will never make them rich using the examples of their own playing is better than just forbidding the thing imo.
I also believe that children should never be burdened with what we think is best for them. They should be allowed to explore and understand the world by their own. Every individual has his own way of perceiving thing, let them see the world from their own eyes. All we can do is let them know the harms of gambling and leave the decision of adopting it or not to the kids. They will learn and grow by experiments and mistakes.

Absolutely. I'm glad you are with me on this. If only all the parents know that by forbidding things they make them more desirable. This is actually a serious question related not only to gambling but to many other dangerous things like drugs, alcohol etc. Not that we should make our kids try all of them, but we shouldn't avoid open discussions, we shouldn't be just saying "It's bad and that's it." With gambling it's easier. We can even let them play a bit in order to show them that however lucky you are your balance will come to zero eventually.

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March 24, 2018, 01:03:53 PM
 #76

becoming a parent could changes the gambler to be a good parent so his kids not follow his way to earn money. but if he cannot changes his self, then it might be difficult for him to tell his kid to not playing gambling because kids always follow their parents did. so if we want to teach our kids, we need to teach our self first so we can tell and teach our kids about the good things and we can see our kids learn only good things that we told.

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March 24, 2018, 01:54:41 PM
 #77

becoming a parent could changes the gambler to be a good parent so his kids not follow his way to earn money. but if he cannot changes his self, then it might be difficult for him to tell his kid to not playing gambling because kids always follow their parents did. so if we want to teach our kids, we need to teach our self first so we can tell and teach our kids about the good things and we can see our kids learn only good things that we told.

there is a saying that what adults do , childrens will also follow it even if its bad for them. i guess that saying can always happen on real events and it can happen to your child because they will follow your bad habits on which is playing a gambling. even if your good at hiding , time will come that they will always find out about it. so i guess in order to be a good parent and a good influence to other children. much better if we can avoid playing gambling if there is a children beside us, rather we will only do gambling in a private place or in casinos and online sites.


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March 24, 2018, 04:38:58 PM
 #78

Entering the parenthood stage of life could provide any individual a different outlook for certain things and that is ultimately applicable to gambling. Any person who's becoming a parent will not want for their child to be a gambler someday (that is if they are in their right minds and not a degenerate one). I, myself would not wish for that to happen. It the normal thought process for anyone who's going through that stage.

The problem comes after having the child. If that person still gambles, there's a high chance that it would be discovered by his child and would ultimately influence him while growing up. If you want your child be not involved in gambling, make your mind as early as now and be firm with your decision. If you chose to stop gambling, follow it with full conviction. Doing it halfheartedly isn't enough and would always become a failure at the end.

 
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March 24, 2018, 08:36:44 PM
 #79

becoming a parent could changes the gambler to be a good parent so his kids not follow his way to earn money. but if he cannot changes his self, then it might be difficult for him to tell his kid to not playing gambling because kids always follow their parents did. so if we want to teach our kids, we need to teach our self first so we can tell and teach our kids about the good things and we can see our kids learn only good things that we told.
It depends upon the nature of individual who has been blessed with such a gift as child. If he feels love and care for his child considering that baby as his responsibility, there is very high probability of him giving up gambling and spending that money on buying happiness for baby. But then there is this kind of humans who just care about themselves, selfish and mean. They would do what pleases them without giving a damn about baby or anyone else.
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March 24, 2018, 09:16:02 PM
 #80

I think yes. Becoming a parent will make them more responsible for their life and they will save their money for their children instead of wasting them in some casinos. Being a parent is a good experience for all of us because it does not change our mindset but also our life

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