[ANN] Shitcoin 3.0 - First Parody Token on the First Parody Blockchain!

[nutildah]

Now available at private printing presses by custom order only,

its SHIT WAR!



Learn why any state worth its weight in manure should acquire & hold SHITCOIN to defend itself from the most abstract of power projectors!

Come on an excessively lengthy journey as we convince you why YOU don't have enough SHITCOIN in your life. That's right: YOU! You want to seem smart and liked by your peers right? Well then read our goddamn manifesto, and then seal the deal by adding some SHITCOINs to your strategic reserve portfolio. Don't get left in the dust as your enemies acquire more SHITCOIN than you, dummy.

[nutildah]

Wonder if I should do another bounty again... that was "fun"

Payment would be much less now that SHITCOIN has a minimum price of 10 for 1 DOGE (0.1 DOGE as opposed to the opening price of 0.03 DOGE). See? If you bought it back then you TRIPLED YOUR GODDAMN WEALTH. In SHITCOIN. Which is largely illiquid. But we're working on that! As a matter of fact, I'm gonna take another stab at getting the DAO functions rolling later this week.

Don't believe me? Sorry I don't have time to convince you.

Don't get left in the dust as your enemies acquire more SHITCOIN than you, dummy.

my writing talents are going to waste here

[nutildah]

ShitcoinDAO Bylaws
Effective Date: April 1, 2025

disclaimer: I used Grok to summarize a lot of ShitcoinDAO info & tweaked it w/ the help of a DAO member

Governing the Decentralized Autonomous Organization of SHITCOIN:
the Original Shit Token on the Dogecoin Blockchain

Article I: Mission and Ethos

    1. Mission: The ShitcoinDAO exists to increase the value of SHITCOIN (a Dogeparty token with a fixed supply of 69,420,000 which was launched in August of 2014) for its holders and to foster the growth of the SHITCOIN ecosystem, all while having a damn good time.
    2. Ethos:
        ◦ Don’t be a dick. We’re here to laugh, build, and take SHITCOIN to Uranus.
        ◦ Embrace the absurdity: SHITCOIN is a joke on a joke (Dogecoin), yet we are somehow still serious about its legacy.
        ◦ Promote blockchain history and honor vintage assets as a whole.


Article II: Membership

    1. Eligibility:
        ◦ Must hold at least 100,000 SHITCOIN in a single Dogecoin address, verified via the Dogermint Discord’s ShitcoinDAO channel.
        ◦ Members falling below this threshold may be expelled by a Council vote (Article IV).
    2. Expulsion:
        ◦ Beyond falling below 100,000 SHITCOIN, members can be booted for being a “massive dick,” as determined by a majority vote of the Council of Directors.
        ◦ Expelled members can reapply if they regain 100,000 SHITCOIN and stop being dicks.
    3. Rights:
        ◦ Submit proposals for governance, treasury spending (1M SHITCOIN budget), airdrops, Discord changes, or community shenanigans.
        ◦ Participate in bounties, contests, and giveaways for SHITCOIN and other Dogeparty goodies.


Article III: Governance Structure

    1. Roles and Responsibilities:
        ◦ President & Founder (Nutildah):
            ▪ Oversees daily operations and treasury management.
            ▪ Acts as tiebreaker for proposal votes.
            ▪ Maintains the Dogermint Discord and ShitcoinDAO channel 24/7, unless asleep or dead.
            ▪ Committed to opening no new SHITCOIN dispensers.
        ◦ CEO (Turd Ferguson):
            ▪ Public face of the DAO, playboy, gigolo, shit-talker extraordinaire.
            ▪ Drives community hype and visibility, issues official statements on behalf of the DAO.
        ◦ Council of Directors (4 Elected Members):
            ▪ Reviews, selects, and enacts member proposals.
            ▪ Compensated 10,000 SHITCOIN monthly from the treasury.
            ▪ Votes on expulsions and rule changes.
        ◦ Treasurer:
            ▪ Maintains a copy of the private keys for the SHITCOIN ETH bridge.
            ▪ Receives an email copy of bridge swap requests; however, does not need to perform swaps unless Nutildah is debilitated or deceased.
            ▪ Compensated 15,000 SHITCOIN monthly from the treasury.
        ◦ Dev (BitcoinJake):
            ▪ Builds and maintains technical infrastructure (e.g., DogeKord bot).
            ▪ He can do whatever he wants and we’ll try to get him paid in real money/coins for any work that he does.
        ◦ Trailer Park Supervisor (Jim Lahey):
            ▪ Maintainer of the Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Nova Scotia, Canada.
            ▪ Advisory role, no voting power.
        ◦ DAO Members:
            ▪ Propose ideas or changes to the DAO, vote on Council-approved measures, and keep this shit train running on time.
    2. Elections:
        ◦ Council of Directors elected annually by DAO members.
        ◦ One vote per qualifying address; simple majority wins.
        ◦ Nominations open in the ShitcoinDAO Discord channel one month prior to voting (first election begins on March 1, 2026).


Article IV: Proposal and Voting Process

    1. Submission:
        ◦ Any DAO member can submit a proposal via the ShitcoinDAO Discord channel.
        ◦ Proposals can cover governance, treasury allocation, airdrops, Ethereum bridge tweaks, or anything not involving nudity, politics, or religion.
    2. Review:
        ◦ Council of Directors shall review submissions monthly, selecting viable proposals by majority vote.
    3. Voting:
        ◦ Proposals selected by the directors go to a DAO member vote.
        ◦ 1 vote per 100k SHITCOIN address; majority rules, with Founder breaking ties.
        ◦ Voting period: 7 days, announced in Discord, Telegram and on X (@Shitcoin30).
    4. Enactment:
        ◦ Approved proposals are executed by the Founder, CEO, or Dev, as applicable, within 30 days, unless otherwise specified.


Article V: Treasury Management

    1. Budget:
        ◦ Initial treasury: 1,000,000 SHITCOIN, held in a secure Dogecoin address controlled by the Founder.
        ◦ Funds allocated for Council and Treasurer compensation (50,000 SHITCOIN/month total), bounties, and approved proposals.
    2. Transparency:
        ◦ Treasury address and transactions publicly viewable on Dogeparty (https://dogeparty.tokenscan.io).
        ◦ Monthly updates posted in Discord by the Founder.
    3. Bridge Operations:
        ◦ Ethereum-Dogecoin bridge funded separately; locked SHITCOIN managed manually by the Founder and/or the treasurer.
        ◦ Risks (e.g., theft, key loss) acknowledged as part of the “SHITCOIN ethos.”


Article VI: Member Conduct

    1. Golden Rule: Don’t be a dick. Be cool, share ideas: keep the community shitty but fun.
    2. Freedom: Say wild shit about SHITCOIN anywhere, but keep Discord respectful(ish).
    3. Violations: Massive dicks face Council expulsion votes (see Article II).


Article VII: Amendments

    1. Process:
        ◦ Bylaw changes proposed by any member, reviewed by the Council, and voted on by all members.
        ◦ Requires 66% approval of voting members and Founder consent.
    2. Emergency Changes:
        ◦ Founder can enact temporary changes in emergencies (e.g., bridge failure, Discord meltdown), subject to Council ratification within 14 days.


Article VIII: Dissolution

    1. Conditions:
        ◦ DAO dissolves if membership drops below 5 or treasury depletes with no recovery plan.
        ◦ Founder’s death or abandonment triggers a 90-day wind-down unless a successor is appointed by the Council and Treasurer agrees to continue to perform bridge swaps.
    2. Assets:
        ◦ Remaining SHITCOIN held in treasury distributed proportionally to members’ holdings at dissolution.


Handling Vacancies or Incapacitation of Elected Members

If elected members of the ShitcoinDAO (specifically the Council of Directors) can no longer fulfill their duties—whether due to death, disappearance, loss of 100,000 SHITCOIN eligibility, or just ghosting the shitshow—the following steps apply:

    1. Notification:
        ◦ Any DAO member can flag a vacancy/inactivity in the ShitcoinDAO Discord.
        ◦ Inactivity defined as no participation for 60 days without notice.
    2. Verification:
        ◦ The Founder (or CEO if Founder is unavailable) confirms the vacancy via wallet checks (for eligibility) or lack of response after a 7-day ping.
    3. Interim Replacement:
        ◦ The Council, by majority vote, appoints a temporary replacement from eligible DAO members (100,000+ SHITCOIN holders) within 14 days.
        ◦ If the Council can’t agree or lacks a quorum (minimum 3 active Directors), the Founder picks the interim replacement.
        ◦ Temporary appointees serve until the next election or 90 days, whichever comes first, and receive prorated compensation (10,000 SHITCOIN/month).
    4. Special Election:
        ◦ If the vacancy occurs more than 90 days before the annual election (August), a special election is held within 30 days of the vacancy confirmation.
        ◦ Same rules as annual elections: one vote per 100,000 SHITCOIN address, majority wins.
    5. Multiple Vacancies:
        ◦ If two or more Council seats are vacant simultaneously, the Founder can freeze Council actions until replacements are appointed or elected, ensuring no rushed or unrepresentative decisions. But let’s face it: this is a pretty far out scenario and this is only here because I asked Grok to generate a lot of this document.



As it is written, so it shall be done!

Signed with love,

¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸💩 nutildah 💩¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

[nutildah]

Coming to Netflix this summer, its SHIT MAN.

"Turd Ferguson stars as Shatz McKnickers, a seasoned detective on the case of a rare shit fossil gone missing. Shatz's investigation is hindered by inner demons which he must learn to confront, for the sake of finding the missing shit."



I asked Grok to make me a series of opening scenes for this movie, progressively requesting more shit be added to the scene.

Intro #1, regular:

Opening Scene: Shit Man - "The Fossil That Got Away"

INT. SHATZ MCKNICKERS' OFFICE - NIGHT

The camera pans across a dimly lit office in a seedy part of town. Rain streaks down the window, casting jagged shadows through the blinds. The room is a mess—papers strewn across a battered desk, an ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts, and a half-empty bottle of whiskey sitting next to a chipped glass. A flickering neon sign outside buzzes faintly, painting the room in sickly green and red hues. The air is thick with the scent of stale smoke and regret...

"rewrite the scene darker and a bit disgusting, with poop references"

Opening Scene: Shit Man - "The Stench of the Past"

INT. SHATZ MCKNICKERS' OFFICE - NIGHT

The camera creeps through a suffocatingly dark office in the bowels of a decaying city. Rain hammers the cracked window, the glass streaked with grime that looks suspiciously like smeared excrement. The room is a cesspool of despair—piles of yellowed case files teeter on the edge of a desk, stained with brown smudges that could be coffee… or something worse. A rusted bucket in the corner overflows with a rancid slurry, the faint plop of dripping water mixing with the buzz of a dying fluorescent light. A flickering streetlamp outside casts a sickly yellow glow, illuminating a faded sign on the door: "Shatz McKnickers, P.I. – Specialist in Shit."

"rewrite it but up the poop talk and poopiness by at least 200%"

Opening Scene: Shit Man - "The Throne of Filth"

INT. SHATZ MCKNICKERS' OFFICE - NIGHT

The camera lurches through an office that looks like the aftermath of a sewage treatment plant explosion. Rain, thick with floating clumps of raw shit, slams against a window so caked in layers of diarrhea it’s like a fecal mosaic—streaks of brown, green, and yellow forming a grotesque abstract painting. The room is a shrine to excrement on an apocalyptic scale: the desk is buried under a mountain of shit-stained case files, each page dripping with fresh, oozing turds that plop onto the floor with a wet squish.

A shattered toilet bowl dominates the center of the room, spewing a geyser of liquid feces that sprays the walls in a rhythmic, gurgling fountain of filth. The floor is a swamp of ankle-deep sludge, a bubbling mix of human waste, animal droppings, and what might be the remnants of a porta-potty disaster. A neon sign outside flickers through the shit-smeared window, its letters spelling out "SHIT MAN: MASTER OF CRAP" in a font that looks like it was written in smeared excrement. The air is a toxic fog of shit-stink—methane, sulfur, and the rancid tang of a thousand unflushed toilets, so thick you can taste the turds on your tongue...

[Reynaldo]

 Finally a crypto with a name that accurately reflects its utility. Lmao jk

[nutildah]

SHITCOINDAO TURNS 1 YEAR OLD TODAY

Congratulations to us, all 20 chads that had the common sense to form the greatest cryptocurrency DAO of all time, the ShitcoinDAO.

In honor of this tremendous accomplishment, we prepared this Q & A with Shitcoin CEO Turd Ferguson, transcribed from yesterday's interview.

Q: What has ShitcoinDAO managed to accomplish in the last 365 days?

A: Hardball questions right out the gate huh. That's real mature. Spring the CEO in a trap -- that will get you big ratings, right smart guy? Yeah so anyway, to answer your question, we uh, grew to 20 members, held council elections, found a treasurer, and basically sat around with our hands on our asses while we watched the market go on an absolute bender with these Solana shitcoins. Oh, we also kept the Shitcoin ETH bridge going the whole time, which nobody really cares about, because its not on Solana.

Q: You say "we" as if more than one person is responsible for handling the bridge transactions. Is that so?

A: Not exactly, nutildah handles all the bridge transactions by his lonesome. Not that that's a lot of work or anything. Fuck. We do have one other guy, the treasurer, who has a copy of the bridge private keys. He's the treasurer. He lives underground, or something.

Q: Are you going to open a bridge to Solana as well?

A: I don't know. Its not out of the question. I suppose we could hold a DAO vote on it or something. I think they already voted on it and that's why we have the ETH bridge. Solana people don't appreciate fine culture. I saw a picture of them on X, wading in raw sewage and pretending they're at a party.

Q: I think that was a meme.

A: What's a meme?

Q: Its a picture with a caption on it.

A: With a what on it?

Q: A caption, like words in a big font.

A: So do you have any more questions for me or what? I have a massage to get to.

Q: It says in your bylaws that you're going to pay elected DAO councilmembers in SHITCOIN every month. Is that true?

A: Damn straight its true. They get 10,000 SHITCOINs a month for a year. Except for the treasurer guy, he gets 15,000.

Q: What funds will you use to pay them?

A: Don't quote me on this, but I'm told we have a treasury budget of 1 million SHITCOINs somewhere.

Q: That will last you for less than 2 years. What happens when the treasury runs out?

A: Uhh... Well, if we are still around by then, it means things won't have completely failed, and I guess we'll have to try to raise SHITCOINs somehow.

Q: Last question. What do you see in store for the future of SHITCOIN?

A: Big things. Attention, recognition, and then fame, in that order. Then with fame comes money I assume. We're gonna get there by making a lot of noise and reminding everyone that we are the first goddamn shittoken - excuse me, meme token - that ever existed, by God. And anyone that says otherwise is welcome to prove it. They don't got what we got baby, and that is providence, with a capital P. For providence.