[ARTICLE] Dying Bitcoin Miner Requests Cremation By Mining Rig

[BitcoinPorn]

Hashes to Ashes; Dust to Dust

by Omigoshi Tukafoto

A terminally ill bitcoin miner has drawn up a will stipulating that his body be consumed by fire created by his bitcoin mining rig.

Inspired by stories of unique methods of scattering ashes such as Timothy Leary’s space burial, Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes being fired from a cannon, & golfers being reconstituted as part of golf balls, a sick bitcoin miner has some last plans for an epic send-off of his own. He loves bitcoins to the point where he has decided to have his remains tied to them. However, there is a problem – bitcoins aren’t physical – they exist in cyberspace only – so there is no way to, say, scatter his ashes in a field of bitcoins. He briefly considered the OnlyOneTV studio but decided that they wouldn’t want his ashes getting their carpet dirty and it would just be awkward.

And yet, not acknowledging his passion for bitcoin mining at all would be wrong. He has been doing it for ages – all the way back to the dawn of bitcoin mining in 2009, and he has learned a thing or two. He knows what it is like to mine with a difficulty level of 1.

Enter a plan to create the ashes themselves with a unique cremation process – and be content to then treat them like most people, with a simple urn on the mantel. The plan calls for the body to be placed in a square room with no A/C, stuffed to the absolute brim (from top-to-bottom, side-to-side) with his many case-less mining rigs. All graphics cards will be overclocked to their breaking point. If that is not enough to melt components and start an inferno, strips of paper representing his USD cash reserves (but not actual cash because it is illegal to intentionally destroy federal reserve notes) will be shredded and thrown into the room until the pure heat causes the tinder/tender to ignite everything and cremate the body.

The miner had previously drafted a living will that stated that under no circumstances could relatives pull the plug on his mining rig before pulling his own plug first.

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[CD-RW]

What about he sells the stuff and the extra money goes to his family?
Sucks for that rig.   

[PcChip]

WHY would he want to ruin good hardware?

Why not just take his least stable gpu, worst-built PSU from china, and oldest and most brittle molex connector extensions and build a "firestarter" PC to start the blaze (or more likely just puff smoke for a bit)

I hate to know that all those good rigs will be wasted when he could ebay them (or let his family ebay them), or just leave them running to contribute to the "security of the network" (maybe solo mining), and at set intervals, donate all bitcoins earned to various charities

[AngelusWebDesign]

Is this serious?

I call BS.

Sure, it's amusing to miners to read about this man's passion for bitcoins (if the man even exists), and to think about how when this man does die, the network hashrate is going to go down (by 10 GH/s?) and who knows how many BTC are going to be destroyed forever.

But intentionally starting a fire in a house? Fires don't just burn up one room and then stop. They tend to burn the WHOLE HOUSE.

The part about starting a house on fire is the part I don't buy. Does he own his house free & clear? If so, he's one of the lucky few.
I'm sure it's illegal to start a house on fire on purpose. Heck, in most places it's illegal to start a bonfire in your front/backyard.

[lacedwithkerosene]

Please tell me these replies are as fake as the article 

[boss cat]

trololol

[m0w3r]

This is quite a sad story.

[Xephan]

Paper strips don't burn that easily. I'd suggest scattering a few bags of finely powdered sawdust or flour before starting up the rigs

[dentldir]

Powerized PVC FTW.

[bcpokey]

Haha, man, very funny, I laughed from just reading the title. TheOnion for bitcoin

[naypalm]

Well played. 

[python]

 

[Oldminer]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

sorry....couldnt fucking help myself...

lol..Im fucking crying here....lol