I simply added -server=(my ip) to his bitcoin client along with the -server partameter. I've configured the m0mchill miner as shown here
if your brother is only mining on your server, he doesn't need to have a bitcoin-client installed (and started as a -server),
he only needs m0mchils miner and connect that to your
bitcoin-client needs to be started as a -server, allowing his
m0mchil-miner to connect.
you can simplify that by creating a bitcoin.conf like this
bitcoin-client (where .0.2 is the IP of your brothers desktop).
and to join pools, connect all miners (or all you want to run on the pool) to the pool, not to a bitcoin-client.
bitcoin-clients can not be connected to pools,
only miners can do that.