What should be included in a newbie welcome message?

[TheBeardedBaby]

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Alternatively, an image of a half-naked woman could be displayed, and if you look closely READ THE RULES could be edited across her boobs? I'm sure that would get their attention. 10 merits for this.

~

The offer of 50 merit for the dubstep track with the hook still stands and 10 for the boobs (make sure she's not actually naked or topless though and don't put it in image tags. Also mark it as NSFW).

If you put a naked/half-naked or even boobs to make people read the rules no one will ever read them, most of them gonna be bashing the candle and after that no one will remember to read the rules..
Better use some scary shit that can shake them really hard and BOO! READ THE F.king RULES can appear.
I bet they gonna remember it quite for long...

It's a joke.

I know

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[vlad230]

....
Seriously, we don't need to have everything in caps and bright colours to get their attention. If they don't read it then that's their problem. People generally don't read terms and conditions because they're often overly long and in undecipherable legal spiel. This is short and sweet for those exact same reasons. Before they even sign up or as soon as they successfully create an account here a warning to read the rules could be displayed, but there's really no excuses for not reading it other than your own foolishness
...

I know you're a funny guy and I understand your points but if you really care about this, you need to come up with something that will make people read it  

As I've seen here, a lot of people only read the title of a thread and not even bother reading the whole post. Do you really think they will bother with some message after they register?  

....
And/or perhaps it should also be sound-tracked by some obnoxiously loud filthy dubstep as well that autoplays as soon as you successfully sign up to really get their attention? Perhaps we could create a dubstep track with the hook or lyrics of the song just being "READ THE RULES" over and over? 50 Merit to anyone who creates this.

Alternatively, an image of a half-naked woman could be displayed, and if you look closely READ THE RULES could be edited across her boobs? I'm sure that would get their attention. 10 merits for this.
....
The offer of 50 merit for the dubstep track with the hook still stands and 10 for the boobs (make sure she's not actually naked or topless though and don't put it in image tags. Also mark it as NSFW).

Be careful tossing around large merit amounts, someone may indeed take you up on this offer or even worse, accuse you of sending them to your alts and abusing the merit system 

[Foxpup]

Alternatively, an image of a half-naked woman could be displayed, and if you look closely READ THE RULES could be edited across her boobs? I'm sure that would get their attention. 10 merits for this.
...
(make sure she's not actually naked or topless though and don't put it in image tags. Also mark it as NSFW).

Half-naked, but not topless? Isn't that the wrong half if you want people to pay attention to the boobs?

[hilariousetc]

If you put a naked/half-naked or even boobs to make people read the rules no one will ever read them, most of them gonna be bashing the candle and after that no one will remember to read the rules..
Better use some scary shit that can shake them really hard and BOO! READ THE F.king RULES can appear.
I bet they gonna remember it quite for long...

It's a joke.

I know you're a funny guy and I understand your points but if you really care about this, you need to come up with something that will make people read it  

As I've seen here, a lot of people only read the title of a thread and not even bother reading the whole post. Do you really think they will bother with some message after they register?  

All I care about is the info being there. I don't actually care whether they read it or not as they'll be banned, but that will then be their own fault. Would we accept the excuse, well I did read the rules but it wasn't in red so I didn't take notice. No. We're not here to babysit idiots or let them off on technicalities for those that don't read. The rules should be displayed and they have the option to read them or not. Anything else is irrelevant and I don't care about any excuses or what ifs.

Alternatively, an image of a half-naked woman could be displayed, and if you look closely READ THE RULES could be edited across her boobs? I'm sure that would get their attention. 10 merits for this.
...
(make sure she's not actually naked or topless though and don't put it in image tags. Also mark it as NSFW).

Half-naked, but not topless? Isn't that the wrong half if you want people to pay attention to the boobs?

Cleavage is all you need. Men are simple creatures.

[Foxpup]

Cleavage is all you need. Men are simple creatures.

Cleavage doesn't mean much if it's the bottom half that's naked.

[suchmoon]

Cleavage is all you need. Men are simple creatures.

Cleavage doesn't mean much if it's the bottom half that's naked.

I think I can solve this very hard puzzle. Bottom half is naked but only the top half is in the picture.

[Thekool1s]

Cleavage is all you need. Men are simple creatures.

Cleavage doesn't mean much if it's the bottom half that's naked.

I think I can solve this very hard puzzle. Bottom half is naked but only the top half is in the picture.

Lmfao!!! if posts like these popping up, I will go Merit-rupt soon!!!

Cleavage is all you need. Men are simple creatures.

I now know why you missed my post

[hilariousandco]

Just saw this post below. Maybe theymos can hire this woman to do an introduction video:

Source:https://twitter.com/brennasparksxxx/status/1001301641658691584?s=12

Or alia. 

[pugman]

Include this link on how to post and the basics of this forum: https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?action=help

A lot of people don't notice it, it has a lot of useful info in it.

[vlad230]

Just saw this post below. Maybe theymos can hire this woman to do an introduction video:
...
Or alia. 

I think she will definitely "spark" some interest for people to read the rules now

Going back to the problem at hand, I'm curious on what will the final page look like and whether theymos will implement it or not.  

[athanz88]

snip

Not only it will make newbies read or watch the welcome message, i bet it will make more traffic to this site, and I could say this is the best idea in this thread ever, thanks for your hard work hillariousandco, lol. To increase the effectiveness, she can make an interactive service called "BitcoinTalk 101" that teach newbies on how to be a good members in this forum.

snip

I think she will definitely "spark" some interest for people to read the rules now

Going back to the problem at hand, I'm curious on what will the final page look like and whether theymos will implement it or not. 

This is Theymos' comment on newbie welcome message idea

OK in principle, would require thought/adjustment/implementation. Many of these things are more complex than they look at first glance.

[Welsh]

Just saw this post below. Maybe theymos can hire this woman to do an introduction video:

I think this might be the solution to all of our problems on Bitcointalk. Theymos did suggest he's looking to offload more responsibilities on to others. Seems like she has the perfect resume

[cabalism13]

Or alia. 

I'm really getting curious who the hell is this alia?
Is she some kinda talent of some dildo commercials?

[TheBeardedBaby]

Or alia.  

I'm really getting curious who the hell is this alia?
Is she some kinda talent of some dildo commercials?

The long story short.
It was a short romance between alia and nullius a few months ago. She was selling private online sessions for crypto but at the end it turned out that alia is actually alt account of the scammer favours and nullius was quite disappointed, I guess that's why he left took a brake off the forum.
The story was quite entertaining and much more complex but hope this is enough for you info.

[LoyceV]

Alternatively, an image of a half-naked woman could be displayed, and if you look closely READ THE RULES could be edited across her boobs? I'm sure that would get their attention.

You can use https://fakeproof.xenot.pro/# to create this (NSFW if you have very sensitive colleagues).
But as much as I like it, it will give the wrong idea about this forum

I'm really getting curious who the hell is this alia?

Alia started like this: Bored, horny and naked...
And ended like this:

Upon investigation, alia == favours via IP evidence

[cabalism13]

Or alia.  

I'm really getting curious who the hell is this alia?
Is she some kinda talent of some dildo commercials?

The long story short.
It was a short romance between alia and nullius a few months ago. She was selling private online sessions for crypto but at the end it turned out that alia is actually alt account of the scammer favours and nullius was quite disappointed, I guess that's why he left took a brake off the forum.
The story was quite entertaining and much more complex but hope this is enough for you info.

And now, I'm kinda like saying "WoW!", so that's why nullius has been gone for ages, being heartbroken to a certain scammer  .
I'm far too late about this, as I've seen it, this happened last february and it's already been 5 mos I think. OMG!

Oh well, Thanks for the info mate.

============

As for the OP, kindly excuse me for bringing this up I just want to know who the hell that "alia" was 

[RustyBits]

but the search function here is shit though.

Agreed! The search function should be replaced by Google search IMO. It performs way better than the default one.

I was (still am) a newbie to the forum when I tried to search for certain topics and was so frustrated with the piss-poor results to the search function. The obvious search graphic with the magnifying glass icon and text box is so prominent and universally recognizable, while the hidden gem of a search feature is... well... hidden among the other tabs... I finally found a topic thread that directed me to that Google based search.

That distinction on its own would be a very helpful tip to newbies IMO. (It would have saved me a lot of time and frustration had I known).

[The Sceptical Chymist]

<snip>

Women with tattoos are defaced, IMO.  Why would you want to scribble all over something that's inherently beautiful?  This current TREND of women getting god-awful tattoos is beyond my comprehension, but I guarantee you these women are going to be regretting their decision to get them in about 10-15 years. 

Tattoos on women are skanky.  Already women are getting ridiculed for "tramp stamps" and "skank flank" tattoos.  History is not going to look on this kindly--guaranteed.  It's a little off topic, but I think it needs to be said.

[Thekool1s]

I was (still am) a newbie to the forum when I tried to search for certain topics and was so frustrated with the piss-poor results to the search function. The obvious search graphic with the magnifying glass icon and text box is so prominent and universally recognizable, while the hidden gem of a search feature is... well... hidden among the other tabs... I finally found a topic thread that directed me to that Google based search.

That distinction on its own would be a very helpful tip to newbies IMO. (It would have saved me a lot of time and frustration had I known).

IKR... Make a suggestion in the "community suggestions" thread. I believe it hasn't been requested yet. Also, here is a small tip for searching "better"

Use this code in Google. Should get you better results than the default one.

Code:

site:bitcointalk.org + whatever you want to search 

@The Pharmacist

Can't agree with you more! 

[o_e_l_e_o]

The offer of 50 merit for the dubstep track with the hook still stands and 10 for the boobs (make sure she's not actually naked or topless though and don't put it in image tags. Also mark it as NSFW).

Is this subtle enough? (Not topless)

[NSFW] https://imgur.com/a/HyOxnzh [NSFW]